Worcester’s Words of Wisdom

Don't judge a book by its cover

The saying "don't judge a book by its cover" means that you shouldn't judge someone - or something - based only on what you see on the outside, because appearances can be deceptive.

Why are we so quick to judge?

Put simply ~ if something looks good, we expect it to be good; and if something looks bad, we expect it to be bad.

We pass a cake shop, and in the window is the most beautiful looking cake ~ all pretty colours and decorations…it looks delicious and boy do we want to go in and buy it ~ so we do.

Sometimes we get ‘it’ right - it does taste as good as it looks, however, sometimes it tastes ‘meh’, and we are left disappointed; and sometimes it tastes absolutely terrible, leaving us wondering what the hell were we thinking? Was our rader that off? How could we get it so wrong?

Then let us try a reversal of that.

You need to eat something because you’re hungry ~ the cake shop only has one cake left, but it’s rather plain and not very inviting, however, ‘needs must’, so you buy it and start eating it ~ it ignites your taste buds like never before…it’s delicious and you devour it. It leaves you wanting more. You are well and truly perplexed. How can something that looked so plain, uninviting and ordinary turn out to be something so incredible?? The mind boggles!

This just goes to prove that you need to take a chance ~ to try different things ~ to open your mind to all the possibilities that that life has to offer ~ because sometimes things are not quite what they seem.

Can we apply that to people?

First impressions are the almost-instant conclusions we jump to when meeting someone for the first time. Our opinion is formed quickly, taking in all the information we see, hear and smell, including their face, dress, posture, tone of voice etc.

However, we need to dig a little deeper ~ look beneath the surface, to find out their true personality, and only then we will get to see the real person.

People might look and sound ok, but when you actually get to know them, your opinion of them can change. It can change drastically. You might be shocked or pleasantly surprised. You might feel that you've been duped. Or that you have just won the people's lottery!

I’ve met people who’ve looked serious, uptight, frightening, uninterested ~ generally unapproachable ~ and it’s almost put me off talking to them, but thankfully, I’ve opened my mind to the possibility that appearances are deceiving, because they’ve actually turned out to be fun, laid back and magnificently bonkers, not to mention caring, thoughtful, selfless and helpful.

Just think of how many people you might have ignored, and all because they didn’t appear to be friendly or look approachable.

People's personalities are multifaceted and very complex.

Always give someone the benefit of the doubt, tho if your gut instinct is telling you there’s something ‘off’, then trust that, but double check just to make sure those instincts are right.

When you dig deeper, when you start to get to know the real person, things can change, especially your opinion of them, and whether or not they fit into your life.

As time goes on their (and our) personality can change. Maybe now you both want different things, or want to go in different directions from when you first met. Maybe your hopes and dreams have changed and they no longer fit into that picture.

Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty and talk about…LOVE!

Does love at first sight exist?
Who knows?

Most people want to believe that it does ~ you see that person across a crowded room, and ‘wham bam’, it hits you like a ton of bricks….instant attraction. Love? Lust?

Many of us might long for the fairytale, but proceed with caution, as we can quite easily become unstuck by judging a book by its cover.

In the Twilight films, Edward tells us that a vampire is designed to draw you in ~ the way they look, the way they smell ~ it's inviting…it’s intoxicating!

We get distracted by the image they portray ~and we want that image ~ is love blind?

All I know is that love can be overwhelming.

You can move too fast without knowing that person inside and out.

What happens when they show their true colours?

Do they show a better, more caring side to their personality? Or do they become a nasty caricature of who you thought they were?

Have they embellished their life story and what they are about? Only showing their good traits, but with time, exposing their bad traits?

Time will always tell.

“Truth will out”
A mystery will always be solved;
truth will eventually and inevitably be discovered.

People eventually reveal their true colours, whether they want to or not as no-one can keep up an act or facade, 24/7, 52 weeks of the year.

Discovering you’re in a bad relationship can leave you feeling like a fool for falling for the fantasy ~ and even though you’re sad that it’s failed, it’s time to cut your losses and run ~ however, watching your relationship go from strength to strength the more you get to know someone is a gift that should be cherished and nurtured.

Life is a game of chances and just like a board game ~ there are rules and objectives, with lots of different ways to win the game. But it is a process ~ a journey with ups and downs ~ twists and turns ~ it’s never straightforward. And this applies to people as well!

Take your time and don’t rush ~ ras

I will face the day with an open heart and an open mind

When I see this affirmation, it reminds me of people's negativity and unwillingness to find out about Reiki - they close their minds to the healing and spiritual possibilities it entails ~ “it’s strange, it’s weird, it’s hocus pocus, mythical, woo woo, holistic claptrap…performed by witches - and they burned witches at the stake” etc, etc, and it’s all because they won’t they open their minds and hearts to the unknown.

Some people don’t have self-love so they can't give love either and won’t accept it - this stagnates…they shut things off …they make fun…say you're weird, anything really, rather than try something different in the hope that it might actually do them good.

Open your mind…

I was recently shocked by my soccer mates…,thinking they’d poke fun and make sarcastic comments about my Reiki, however, I was completely surprised when they wanted to know what it was all about and the fact that they were really interested in learning about it. They brought up the subject first because they were curious.

Be curious ~ not judgemental

People would rather be negative, it’s easier to say things you know nothing about is a load of baloney rather than find out what it's all about and to give it a try.

What’s the harm in trying?

You don’t know until you try and in the grand scheme of things, who has the right to say it’s codswallop?

In life there is no single person who knows everything, and is appointed judge, jury and executioner.

Don’t judge a book by its cover - open it up and try reading, you might be surprised how quickly it piques your interest, draws you in, creating a thirst and desire to know more. There are libraries full of books, and an endless vault of them online, allowing you to broaden your horizons and open your mind.

Life has endless possibilities so try and explore different things. Step out of your comfort zone, dare to be different, become a “say YES to life” wo/man, stop saying NO…say yes and then MAYBE life will become a lot more fun and interesting.

First things first - you need to love and nurture yourself.

  • Look after yourself physically and mentally
  • Look good - feel good…eat well, feel well
  • Exercise your body, mind and soul

Body: Exercise - and NO, you don’t have to become a gym bunny! Just get out in the fresh air ~ walk, run, jog, swim, cycle, skip! Move your body. Get the blood and endorphins flowing!

Mind: Read, listen to music and podcasts; try different crafts and hobbies. Socialise and interact with others ~ join a team.

Soul: Book in some Reiki healing, spiritual healing. Try meditation or crystal healing. Practice gratitude. Be with nature. Be compassionate. Be grateful.

Do what makes you feel happy but remember to fix your own oxygen mask first because you can’t do anything or help others until you yourself are sorted.

Open your heart…

How can you love people who have hurt you, and are you prepared to forgive and forget?

Are you able to go through hurt again?

Are you able to put your heart on the line?

If people have hurt you in the heat of the moment, behaved badly and hurtful things have been said and done, how do you go about fixing the mess that’s been created, addressing the problems, sorting through the problems, and being prepared to forgive?

This requires sensitivity and acting like a grown up, instead of behaving like a spoiled brat who constantly wants their own way!

Try listening to other people's point of view and their opinions ~ everybody is entitled to their opinion whether you like it, agree with it or not.

Having the ability to admit to being wrong. Obviously, when you are in the wrong, just admit it - set aside your ego and pride - apologise, and move on. However, if you are not in the wrong, instead of escalating the argument to an all out screaming match leading to World War 3, try to diplomatically ‘agree to disagree’, then move on. Who needs that kind of toxicity and negativity in their life? Life really is too short.

HOWEVER…

There is only so much hurt and bad behaviour you can take off people before reaching breaking point.

  • How much can you forgive and forget?
  • When and where is that breaking point?
  • When are you past the point of no return?
  • When is it all too much?

Because in reality, there are some things which are unforgivable and unforgettable, so it is better to eliminate these people from your life and get on with your own life, without a backward glance.

By eliminating them, I don't mean hiring a hitman!!
What I mean is, stop seeing them, block them on social media, and cut all contact.

When you go through heartbreak it’s so easy to feel like you will never love again, however, life would be very lonely if we're not surrounded by people you love and who love you.

So how do you put your heart back on the line?

  • Surround yourself with friends and family, people who love and care about you.
  • Change your social life, give yourself options, and the chance to meet different friends.
  • Broaden your horizons by trying different hobbies, take a chance, a leap of faith and give things a go. You never know who you might meet on the journey.
  • Look at your past relationship as a learning curve. You now know what went wrong and how to prevent that from happening again.
  • Learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them.


Life and love is a game of chance ~ the more you participate and play, the more likely you will win ~ REMEMBER: you’ve got to be in it to win it. Same as the lottery ~ unless you have a ticket you’re not going to have an opportunity to hit the jackpot!

Ask for advice ~ from friends, family, workmates, professionals, healers, counsellors ~ it’s always good to talk, to share and air your grievances and worries.

Welcome new people into your life, give them a chance, give them the benefit of the doubt and make sure to be positive and to think positively.

Remove the people who bring negativity to your life and welcome in those who bring positivity.

Open your heart and open your mind every day and live life to the full as the possibilities are endless.

I enjoy being surrounded by others

Do you enjoy solitude, or do you enjoy being surrounded by others?

Are you a people person, or do you resonate more with Greta Garbo who quipped, “I want to be alone”?

I think I can safely say that most people like a healthy balance of both. I know I do.

I am more than content to be by myself, playing music, reading, exercising, cooking; but sometimes, I can feel lonely, with just my thoughts for company, echoing through my mind.

Ultimately, I love having people around me, being part of a team, that wonderful feeling of belonging, achieving a common goal together, or just simply supporting each other and being there for each other.

I have cultivated a large circle of friends. I belong to a football team, a circle of spiritually and psychic-gifted people, and last but by no means least, I belong to Team Heaven.

How does being surrounded by people benefit my life?

They bring to my life ~

  • Positivity
  • Happiness
  • Support
  • Camaraderie

Why?

Because we ~

  • Are all in this together
  • Win together and lose together
  • Never take negativity from defeat, only positivity, and the desire to move forwards
  • Have a laugh on days/nights out ~ laughter really is the best medicine
  • Chat and tell each other what's going on in our lives
  • Check in on each other's wellbeing
  • Listen to each other's problems, giving our opinions and sound advice on how to help
  • Are always truthful, and there’s 100% trust ~ we've got each other’s back
  • Tell each other our hopes and dreams, and offer encouragement to keep each other on track with our goals

So what advice would I give in order to surround yourself with a fabulous group of friends?

  • Find a new hobby which involves other people ~ birds of a feather, flock together!
  • Find out what’s going on in your area and join a club, a choir, a cookery class, an exercise class, a walking group. The options are endless.
  • Look back at your friendships from the past. Reach out and try to reconnect.
  • Re-discover your friendship, what made it special, and is it worth the effort of getting in touch?

Social media can be helpful for this, however, social media can also be a lonely place, endlessly scrolling through other people’s lives. You may think you’re engaging with people by leaving a comment, but nothing is more rewarding than an actual conversation face-to-face rather than speaking via emojis.

  • Live in the present. Live in the real world ~ not the virtual…
  • Start making plans to see friends and loved ones sooner rather than later, and stick to those plans, rather than cancelling at the last minute with a crap excuse because you can’t be bothered to put in a little effort.

It’s good to talk ~ to connect ~ to share problems ~ to seek advice or give advice.

That's what friends are for. And that is why I enjoy being surrounded by others.

My every desire is achievable

Desire means a strong feeling of wanting to have something, or wishing for something to happen.

What do you desire?

People always desire something ~ there’s something we always want ~ something we crave ~ something we desire ~ and when we get it, we always want more.

Why are we never content?

Humans are not designed to be happy, or even content. Our number one function is to survive and reproduce, like every other creature in the natural world. A state of contentment is discouraged by nature because it would lower our guard against possible threats to our survival.

So how do we achieve everything we desire? The real answer is we can’t. HOWEVER, we CAN try to achieve these things.

It gives us purpose ~ something to aspire to.

It gives us a goal in life ~ goals are important.

We don’t just want to meander through life ~ we want to learn new skills, have fun, make friends, make love, make memories ~ feel like we are contributing something. We want to live and not just simply exist.

How can we manifest those desires into a living, breathing reality?

By believing that our every desire is achievable, we are setting ourselves up to fail ~ so first of all, make sure that you are being realistic with what it is that you truly desire.

For example, many people desire that huge lottery win, they may even buy a ticket or two, or three or four, but what they need to understand is the actual reality of winning that jackpot is a 1 in 292.2 million chance. To put this in perspective, you have a 1 in 1.222 million chance of death from being struck by lightning in a given year.

Winning the lottery is a game of chance ~ it’s totally out of our control ~ so we need to focus on a desire that is within our control.

We need to begin by understanding who we are, by asking the relevant questions:

  • Who am I?
  • What do I want?
  • Where do I want to go in life? and,
  • What do I want to achieve?

Remove limiting thoughts ~ STOP being negative ~ try to adopt the positive ‘I can do’ mindset, rather than the ‘I can’t do’ defeatist attitude.

Be clear and realistic about what you want ~ dreams are good to have. However, to achieve them they have to realistically be within your reach, otherwise they will remain unattainable ‘pipe dreams’.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help ~ throw it ‘out to the universe’, and ask it those all important questions ~ or seek advice from family and friends ~ because if you don’t ask…you don’t get!

Believe in yourself, because you can do the things you want to do ~ you can achieve your goals ~ the more you believe in yourself the more your courage and determination will grow, your mindset changes, and it fills with a more positive outlook on life.

Practice the positive affirmations we give you every month ~ don’t just say them, understand them ~ learn the meaning behind those all important words and how you interpret them and incorporate them into your daily life. Words mean different things to different people.

Words are powerful ~ use them wisely

Acknowledge and appreciate the small wins on the journey of life. Every small win gets you closer to those big dreams. Dream your dreams with open eyes and make them come true.

Don’t dream your life ~ live your dream

We have a tendency to be a little impatient, yet know that ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ ~ things take time, especially when we’re talking about what we desire, our dreams, and generally, making a better life for ourselves.

Pace yourself ~ set yourself achievable goals ~ stay on target

REMEMBER - Be persistent and consistent. As Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses says: ”He who dares, wins” ~ so don’t be a plonker, go for it and things could end up being lovely jubbly! Who knows? For some lucky folk perhaps Lady Luck will be on your side with the winning lotto ticket ~ “this time next year we’ll be millionaires”!!! Cushty? Or maybe NOT…

‘Who Dares Wins’ is also the motto of the British SAS. The idea behind the motto is that if you have the courage and audacity to take risks, then you will succeed in life. It can also be interpreted that courage itself is its very own reward.

The only person who can defeat me is myself

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, telling ourselves we can’t do this, we’re not good enough for that, we don’t fit in. It’s a bit like having a destructive monster within us, whose job is to bring us down, make us worry, make us doubt, chip away at our self confidence until there is nothing left to feast on…an angry and manipulative monster who is there, in the background, ready to raise its ugly head and sabotage our good efforts, everytime we dare to dream or believe that something good can happen.

The monster in question is called self-sabotage and we all have one living inside of us.

The all important question is:

Do we feed the monster? Do we fight the monster? Or do we keep it locked up inside and hope it never escapes?

Self-sabotage is often driven by negative self-talk, where you tell yourself that you're inadequate, or unworthy of success…but listen here…that’s not you talking really…that’s the ‘monster’ inside, working your chains and manipulating your brains.

So let’s evaluate your options:

Option 1: Feed the monster

This is where the monster feeds off your insecurities, self-doubt and your indecisiveness.

That's just giving it what it wants - the power to control you, keeping you in a negative and worried state - a state of dependence, where it gets to rule your world. If that’s the kind of life you want to live, well keep doing what you’re doing and look forward to a life with no fullfillment, no joy…just constant worry, negativity and second guessing yourself EVERY step of the way.

I’m guessing tho, that that’s NOT the kind of life you want to live, so let’s look at the next option.

Option 2: Fight the monster

Pick up your sword and shield and prepare to duel the monster as battle is ready to commence on everything you say and do.

You try with all your might to fend off the negativity, all the doubt, the unwelcome thoughts of being a failure, saying something stupid, doing something wrong - the more you fight, the more aggressive you become, the more you raise your voice, and before long the monster isn’t living inside you, the monster IS you!

The problem is, in order to take control and take down the monster, you think fighting fire with fire is the answer, but then you just end up losing yourself in the battle. So what’s the next option?

Option 3: Keep the monster locked up and hope it never escapes

If you ignore something for long enough - perhaps it will go away?

If you don’t answer the questions asked - then maybe they will stop?

If you keep trying to turn negativity into positivity, perhaps all the doubt will stop?

Just STOP!!!

It’s exhausting and NOBODY can keep that up 24/7. It’s a full time job trying to keep the monster locked away and all a bit ‘mission impossible’, so best not to waste too much time and energy on this option.

Always overthinking things WILL result in total burnout!

And now we have the smart option; the ideal option; an option we didn’t mention beforehand.

Option 4: Try making peace with the monster

You need to understand why you have a monster within, and what is its purpose?

Sometimes you can lose sight of yourself and become lost, you lose your confidence and sense of purpose and cannot stand up for yourself. People can take advantage of you and sometimes it’s only the monster's reaction that can highlight that and protect you from being taken for a ride.

Turn the situation and doubts around. Turn the tables on your monster and use its tactics to your advantage.

Let it become your own personal ‘cheering squad of one’, because your monster can make you stronger and brave, it can help you take more risks, become more courageous…give you a strong voice.

It makes you unafraid when you unleash it. It makes you say what you really feel…brings out the truth…shows people your true colours whether you want them to see them or not.
It holds up the mirror and shows you your own true reflection…perhaps that is why we don’t like the monster.

We want people to see the best of us and the monster is the part of us we’d like to keep hidden, because it can be nasty and frightening.

Befriend yourself and your monster!

Hopefully you only bring the monster out for good reason, however, there are people who allow their monster to run rampant all the time…it gives them power, it gives them a licence to behave badly, and the excuse of “it wasn’t me”! It allows us to blame the monster - “it wasn’t my fault, it was the monster within”…

Some of us are embarrassed by our monster's behaviour, whereas others may be pleased with how the monster reacted, and are now happy for it to go back into its ‘box’. Learn your monster’s good and bad points, and how you can best harness and utilise them.

The monster is part of you, and always will be - you just need to learn how to understand it and treat your monster well, because there will be a time and a place for it to make an appearance.

Sometimes it can protect you not only from yourself but from others. So learn to love it, appreciate it; know when to feed it, or starve it of energy. It only needs exercising now and again and needs to spend lots of time indoors but most importantly let your monster rest… LOTS!