Worcester’s Words of Wisdom

The only person who can defeat me is myself

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, telling ourselves we can’t do this, we’re not good enough for that, we don’t fit in. It’s a bit like having a destructive monster within us, whose job is to bring us down, make us worry, make us doubt, chip away at our self confidence until there is nothing left to feast on…an angry and manipulative monster who is there, in the background, ready to raise its ugly head and sabotage our good efforts, everytime we dare to dream or believe that something good can happen.

The monster in question is called self-sabotage and we all have one living inside of us.

The all important question is:

Do we feed the monster? Do we fight the monster? Or do we keep it locked up inside and hope it never escapes?

Self-sabotage is often driven by negative self-talk, where you tell yourself that you're inadequate, or unworthy of success…but listen here…that’s not you talking really…that’s the ‘monster’ inside, working your chains and manipulating your brains.

So let’s evaluate your options:

Option 1: Feed the monster

This is where the monster feeds off your insecurities, self-doubt and your indecisiveness.

That's just giving it what it wants - the power to control you, keeping you in a negative and worried state - a state of dependence, where it gets to rule your world. If that’s the kind of life you want to live, well keep doing what you’re doing and look forward to a life with no fullfillment, no joy…just constant worry, negativity and second guessing yourself EVERY step of the way.

I’m guessing tho, that that’s NOT the kind of life you want to live, so let’s look at the next option.

Option 2: Fight the monster

Pick up your sword and shield and prepare to duel the monster as battle is ready to commence on everything you say and do.

You try with all your might to fend off the negativity, all the doubt, the unwelcome thoughts of being a failure, saying something stupid, doing something wrong - the more you fight, the more aggressive you become, the more you raise your voice, and before long the monster isn’t living inside you, the monster IS you!

The problem is, in order to take control and take down the monster, you think fighting fire with fire is the answer, but then you just end up losing yourself in the battle. So what’s the next option?

Option 3: Keep the monster locked up and hope it never escapes

If you ignore something for long enough - perhaps it will go away?

If you don’t answer the questions asked - then maybe they will stop?

If you keep trying to turn negativity into positivity, perhaps all the doubt will stop?

Just STOP!!!

It’s exhausting and NOBODY can keep that up 24/7. It’s a full time job trying to keep the monster locked away and all a bit ‘mission impossible’, so best not to waste too much time and energy on this option.

Always overthinking things WILL result in total burnout!

And now we have the smart option; the ideal option; an option we didn’t mention beforehand.

Option 4: Try making peace with the monster

You need to understand why you have a monster within, and what is its purpose?

Sometimes you can lose sight of yourself and become lost, you lose your confidence and sense of purpose and cannot stand up for yourself. People can take advantage of you and sometimes it’s only the monster's reaction that can highlight that and protect you from being taken for a ride.

Turn the situation and doubts around. Turn the tables on your monster and use its tactics to your advantage.

Let it become your own personal ‘cheering squad of one’, because your monster can make you stronger and brave, it can help you take more risks, become more courageous…give you a strong voice.

It makes you unafraid when you unleash it. It makes you say what you really feel…brings out the truth…shows people your true colours whether you want them to see them or not.
It holds up the mirror and shows you your own true reflection…perhaps that is why we don’t like the monster.

We want people to see the best of us and the monster is the part of us we’d like to keep hidden, because it can be nasty and frightening.

Befriend yourself and your monster!

Hopefully you only bring the monster out for good reason, however, there are people who allow their monster to run rampant all the time…it gives them power, it gives them a licence to behave badly, and the excuse of “it wasn’t me”! It allows us to blame the monster - “it wasn’t my fault, it was the monster within”…

Some of us are embarrassed by our monster's behaviour, whereas others may be pleased with how the monster reacted, and are now happy for it to go back into its ‘box’. Learn your monster’s good and bad points, and how you can best harness and utilise them.

The monster is part of you, and always will be - you just need to learn how to understand it and treat your monster well, because there will be a time and a place for it to make an appearance.

Sometimes it can protect you not only from yourself but from others. So learn to love it, appreciate it; know when to feed it, or starve it of energy. It only needs exercising now and again and needs to spend lots of time indoors but most importantly let your monster rest… LOTS!

Belief is a powerful thing

Belief is a powerful thing - the word itself means:

“an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof ~
trust, faith, or confidence in (someone or something)”

A belief is an idea that a person holds as being true, but why is it important to have belief?

Having belief can offer a sense of comfort, purpose and a connection to others. This is especially true during challenging times because beliefs may affect the healing process and improve quality of life.

Beliefs can create the right mindset, they can force our brains to spot opportunities that would otherwise be missed, they create belief in others, they increase our self confidence and they can reduce stress, giving us peace of mind.

Belief is what guides us in everything we do and how we do it.

As you know I am a spiritual and reiki healer. So what do I believe in? And how does it help and guide me?

My journey started with Joolz Raven Stewart and wanting to know more about spirit guides, meeting my spiritual guides, learning about their power and the healing of the body, mind and soul with reiki.

A spirit guide is someone who guides and protects you and I met mine several years ago through reiki and meditation, which started my spiritual awakening and led me down the path towards my spiritual destination and my calling - reiki healing.

Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to see their spirit guide, however, we all have one, and for any sceptics out there, just because you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they are not there.

So how do we connect with our spirit guide?

First, try asking them for help and guidance, then listen to what they are saying. You can do this through meditation - just quiet your mind and listen to the sounds around you.

Ask for a sign…You’ll be blown away when the signs start to manifest and it will truly rock your world.

Always pay attention to the guidance and signs you receive - this could be anything around you - simple things like numbers, music lyrics, objects moving, flickering lights, sound disturbance or feelings like goose bumps, shivers and exhilaration.

Be thankful to your spirit guides for these signs and guidance.

Trust in your ability to believe and connect with your spirit guide and to feel their support.

Know that you will always have an ever-present energy of love that you can call on - it is always within and around you, supporting you and guiding you.

Disclaimer: Just remember that your spirit guide isn’t going to join you at the dinner table, sit down, have a drink and give you advice or a pep talk! However, they are always there, watching over you, ready to give help and guidance whenever needed.

I work with spirit guides when performing reiki healing on others. This helps me with which direction the healing needs to go; they guide me to the problem areas, showing me visions which helps with the understanding of what people are going through, and what they want to achieve with the healing process.

Reiki healing is a form of Japanese energy healing - a type of alternative and natural medicine.

I use a technique called hands-on healing which is transferred through the palms of my hands in order to encourage emotional or physical healing.

This, combined with the guidance I get from the spirit guides, makes for one complete healing session designed to help the mind and body energise, relax, heal and feel happiness, uplifting the soul.

My goal is to help others and open their minds to alternative therapies.

Just because you can’t physically see your spirit guides or witness me healing your body and mind with my hands, doesn’t mean I haven’t, but what you will do is feel the difference, the changes and the energy with the whole spiritual and reiki experience.

Open your mind to a new way of seeing things where anything and everything is possible.

Remember just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!

“I dare to be different”

“Different”: adjective: not the same as another or each other; unlike in nature, form, or quality.

“I don’t aspire to be like other drivers;
I aspire to be unique in my own way”

Sir Lewis Hamilton

This quote was part of the inspiration behind the creation of this magazine when it launched back in June 2015. Emma’s original bio for the magazine was:

“Delve into my world of fashion, beauty, travel and lifestyle.
Let me capture your imagination and help you unleash it in spectacular style.
Be adventurous. Be fun. Be confident. Be healthy.
Be happy. Be fabulous. Be different.
Be the best you can be”

Why blend in with the crowd when you were born to stand out?

It would be a very boring world if we all looked the same, wore the same clothes, had the same opinions and wanted the same things. They say variety is the spice of life, and never was something so very true.

Look within yourself for the answers as to why you are different. What makes you special? What makes you unique?

Our quirks and imperfections are what make us special, they make us different, they make us unique and I don’t know about you, but I've always wanted to be ‘one of a kind’.

Being different makes me feel happy in myself and I like how my persona is perceived by others. I appreciate everyone around me and try to surround myself with positive people who enrich my life with their knowledge, love, passion and respect.

I try not to engage with negativity as it’s draining and pointless - there’s enough doom and gloom going on around the world which I can access at any time, however, I try not to let it enter my happy place too frequently. I try to see the silver lining in every situation in order to be as upbeat as possible.

I’m very quiet and I have a practical approach to everything, especially with my advice. Arguments can flare up and escalate pretty quickly over the most silly things, and I’ve always aspired to a peacemaking role which highlights everybody's differences, showing that all opinions matter, whether they are right or wrong - because it’s not all black and white - there are numerous shades of grey along with hot flashes of vibrant colour!

I’m very happy-go-lucky, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m not confrontational. I don’t tend to suffer from jealousy or envy, it’s pointless and gets you nowhere; it doesn’t improve your situation wanting what others have - it’s draining and it can (needlessly) stress you out.

I’m very peaceful and spiritual. I find comfort in my reiki teaching and healing - it gives me purpose. Before reiki and meeting Joolz, my life was stressful and full of anxiety; I had a lack of confidence, lack of purpose and no direction in my life. Reiki changed my life, took away the anxiety, fear, stress and opened the door to a more fulfilled and complete life.

At the age of 13, I was diagnosed with a life-changing illness which I never took seriously until at the age of 18 when on a drunken night out I suffered an episode which almost ended my life.

This was a massive wake up call, which led to lifestyle changes, my whole outlook on life and a greater appreciation of life and being happy and healthy. I could have seen this negatively and let it destroy me, but instead, I chose to embrace my differences and use them to my advantage.

My condition has made me realise that yes I am different and I need to be different in order to live a better, healthier lifestyle, but I see my differences as my strength…my superpowers if you like.

Be proud to be different and celebrate your uniqueness. As the late great Freddie Mercury once said:

“Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter,
someone will always be younger…
but they will never be you!”

“I am a warrior”

Q: What is a warrior?

A: A warrior is a brave fighter and their traits are: Confidence, strength, aggressiveness, discipline, being active and bravery.

To have a warrior's mindset means - you won’t quit…in fact, you will do whatever it takes to do what is needed - to win the fight or complete a mission - no matter how hard the task is or how long it takes.

So let’s take a look at the attitudes of what it takes to be a warrior and engineer your mind so you can develop the mentality and toughness needed to become a warrior, because life has a nasty habit of throwing you a curve ball every now and again and at some point you will experience, pain, failure, losses, challenges and many roadblocks - you must learn from these setbacks so you can deal with them better and grow as a person…become a warrior!

You warrior mindset mantras:

I act in spite of fear:

Fear is the greatest obstacle I have in life - it’s a negative impact that I need to overcome and when I learn to control my fear and face it, the results create feelings of euphoria and achievement which will spur me on.

Remember the saying, “feel the fear and do it anyway” and this will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I am willing to do whatever it takes:

Sometimes the things I desire in life can be hard to achieve and as the saying goes, “nothing worth having comes easy”...I need to put in maximum effort and perseverance, making sure I stick to my guns and achieve my aim - this will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I will go the extra mile:

If I’m going to start something - I make sure I finish it. I must go that extra mile and get the job done. (However, don’t get sucked into perfectionism for burnout or perfectionism’s sake! It’s a fine line. And remember to pace yourself. It’s a marathon not a sprint.) This will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I am willing to do what’s ‘hard’:

“If you are willing to do only what’s easy, life will be hard. But if you are willing to do what’s hard, life will be easy.” Life is a battle and to win that battle, sometimes I need to overcome issues in life that are hard and test my limits, but what makes me stronger is taking on tasks that are not easy and then finding the strength and the courage and determination to achieve them - this will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I will act in spite of my mood:

If I am feeling upset, angry, demotivated, defeated or frightened, these feelings can and will derail me, so I need to put them to one side and channel my positivity with the ‘can-do’ mentality.

These feelings are all in my mind and I need to stop overthinking them and see the bigger picture - this will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I am bigger than any obstacle:

“An obstacle in life can block your way and prevent or hinder progress.”

When things go wrong in life - or I fail at something - I need to learn to stop putting myself down or blaming myself with the ‘if only’ scenario, which is not really helpful in the scheme of things.

I need to STOP giving myself excuses as to why I cannot overcome that particular obstacle no matter how big or difficult it is, I just need to give it a go and give it my all - this will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I will succeed in spite of anything and everything:

“Success starts with attitude - success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence and repeat whenever needed”.

No matter what life throws at me, I will take it on with full confidence in myself and my abilities. I also want to learn, to grow and improve myself on a daily basis - this will get me one step closer to becoming a warrior.

I will never give up:

Failure is NOT an option and when I set myself a goal, my eyes are on the prize and I don’t plan on throwing in the towel. The warrior mentality is in my DNA. It makes me get up in the morning, appreciate life and strive to live it to the fullest.

I may not always win but I will always ‘fight’ - I don’t want to be a worrier - I want to be a warrior - I want to feel like I can conquer the world!

So every day, get up and say…I AM A WARRIOR.

"feel the fear and do it anyway"

Q: What is fear?
A: An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

So what actually happens when you experience fear?

You may experience increased heart rate, faster breathing or shortness of breath, butterflies, sweating and chills and trembling muscles. These symptoms can vary in their degrees from being mild to completely debilitating - but how do you get over them so they don’t impact your daily life?

Ask yourself:

  • What are your fears?
  • Why are you so fearful of them?
  • Where did your fears come from, and when did they start?
  • How do you face them, and learn to conquer or control them?

It’s good to talk it through with someone, such as a spiritual and reiki healer or a hypnotherapist who can help trace back to the origins of when your fears manifested.

You may get a better understanding of why you are afraid, which will in turn help determine how you face them and then you can begin your journey in trying to overcome them.

Worcester’s way to help face and fight your fears:

Take time out to clear your mind as it’s probably about to simultaneously implode and explode with fear and anxiety.

Calm yourself down with some deep breathing, a walk, a luxurious bubble bath, or a cold shower if you’re brave enough! Or maybe a comforting cup of herbal tea or industrial strength ‘builders brew’, some yoga or a guided meditation.

Create your own happy place which you can easily visit if/when fear strikes. This could be a beautiful beach, a summer meadow, your garden amongst the flowers, or even snuggled up in bed. This can all be achieved with the help of our wonderful hypnotherapist Joolz Raven Stewart and her guided meditations.

You need to remember that nobody is perfect and nobody’s life is perfect - that’s an unattainable goal you’re trying to achieve, so stop setting yourself up to fail.

If you're having a bad day don’t forget that tomorrow is a new day…full of hope, and that life is a gift - wake up every day and remember that.

Avoiding your fears only makes them scarier, with you building them up and up in your mind until they completely consume you, or turn you into an irrational, emotional wreck.

Whatever your fears may be, if you face them, you will begin to conquer them. Channel your self-belief and self-determination: feel the fear and do it anyway!

Take it one step at a time.

For example: if you're terrified of our eight-legged friends, we don’t recommend trying to pick them up straight away which may cause you to freeze in terror, breaking the sound barrier with your hysterics and/or pass out!

However, for starters, you can learn to cope with them being in the same room as you without running to the hills and screaming. Don’t hold your breath. Breathing at this point is particularly good. And slow deep breathing is even better, to help ground and calm yourself.

The next step might be to buy a spider catcher and gently pick them up, taking them outside, and returning them to their natural habitat.

And when you have overcome or mastered that step, maybe, in time, you will be able to pick them up; but then again, maybe you won't…however, that too is ok because you are now in a much better position and mindset than you were before.

Remember: take baby steps…it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You will have felt the fear and learned how to deal with it, experiencing that amazing rush of adrenaline and achievement that you have done something about it... and now it’s time to give yourself a big pat on the back - perhaps even reward yourself with a celebratory treat or a night out!

There are no obstacles which we can’t overcome, especially with a little help, encouragement and knowledge. As we overcome life’s challenges, we grow that little bit more with each and every achievement, and in turn, our confidence grows too. We live in a world where anything and everything is possible - fear is just a state of mind and one you can learn to overcome.