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Don't judge a book by its cover

The saying "don't judge a book by its cover" means that you shouldn't judge someone - or something - based only on what you see on the outside, because appearances can be deceptive.

Why are we so quick to judge?

Put simply ~ if something looks good, we expect it to be good; and if something looks bad, we expect it to be bad.

We pass a cake shop, and in the window is the most beautiful looking cake ~ all pretty colours and decorations…it looks delicious and boy do we want to go in and buy it ~ so we do.

Sometimes we get ‘it’ right - it does taste as good as it looks, however, sometimes it tastes ‘meh’, and we are left disappointed; and sometimes it tastes absolutely terrible, leaving us wondering what the hell were we thinking? Was our rader that off? How could we get it so wrong?

Then let us try a reversal of that.

You need to eat something because you’re hungry ~ the cake shop only has one cake left, but it’s rather plain and not very inviting, however, ‘needs must’, so you buy it and start eating it ~ it ignites your taste buds like never before…it’s delicious and you devour it. It leaves you wanting more. You are well and truly perplexed. How can something that looked so plain, uninviting and ordinary turn out to be something so incredible?? The mind boggles!

This just goes to prove that you need to take a chance ~ to try different things ~ to open your mind to all the possibilities that that life has to offer ~ because sometimes things are not quite what they seem.

Can we apply that to people?

First impressions are the almost-instant conclusions we jump to when meeting someone for the first time. Our opinion is formed quickly, taking in all the information we see, hear and smell, including their face, dress, posture, tone of voice etc.

However, we need to dig a little deeper ~ look beneath the surface, to find out their true personality, and only then we will get to see the real person.

People might look and sound ok, but when you actually get to know them, your opinion of them can change. It can change drastically. You might be shocked or pleasantly surprised. You might feel that you've been duped. Or that you have just won the people's lottery!

I’ve met people who’ve looked serious, uptight, frightening, uninterested ~ generally unapproachable ~ and it’s almost put me off talking to them, but thankfully, I’ve opened my mind to the possibility that appearances are deceiving, because they’ve actually turned out to be fun, laid back and magnificently bonkers, not to mention caring, thoughtful, selfless and helpful.

Just think of how many people you might have ignored, and all because they didn’t appear to be friendly or look approachable.

People's personalities are multifaceted and very complex.

Always give someone the benefit of the doubt, tho if your gut instinct is telling you there’s something ‘off’, then trust that, but double check just to make sure those instincts are right.

When you dig deeper, when you start to get to know the real person, things can change, especially your opinion of them, and whether or not they fit into your life.

As time goes on their (and our) personality can change. Maybe now you both want different things, or want to go in different directions from when you first met. Maybe your hopes and dreams have changed and they no longer fit into that picture.

Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty and talk about…LOVE!

Does love at first sight exist?
Who knows?

Most people want to believe that it does ~ you see that person across a crowded room, and ‘wham bam’, it hits you like a ton of bricks….instant attraction. Love? Lust?

Many of us might long for the fairytale, but proceed with caution, as we can quite easily become unstuck by judging a book by its cover.

In the Twilight films, Edward tells us that a vampire is designed to draw you in ~ the way they look, the way they smell ~ it's inviting…it’s intoxicating!

We get distracted by the image they portray ~and we want that image ~ is love blind?

All I know is that love can be overwhelming.

You can move too fast without knowing that person inside and out.

What happens when they show their true colours?

Do they show a better, more caring side to their personality? Or do they become a nasty caricature of who you thought they were?

Have they embellished their life story and what they are about? Only showing their good traits, but with time, exposing their bad traits?

Time will always tell.

“Truth will out”
A mystery will always be solved;
truth will eventually and inevitably be discovered.

People eventually reveal their true colours, whether they want to or not as no-one can keep up an act or facade, 24/7, 52 weeks of the year.

Discovering you’re in a bad relationship can leave you feeling like a fool for falling for the fantasy ~ and even though you’re sad that it’s failed, it’s time to cut your losses and run ~ however, watching your relationship go from strength to strength the more you get to know someone is a gift that should be cherished and nurtured.

Life is a game of chances and just like a board game ~ there are rules and objectives, with lots of different ways to win the game. But it is a process ~ a journey with ups and downs ~ twists and turns ~ it’s never straightforward. And this applies to people as well!

Take your time and don’t rush ~ ras