November 2023

Menopausal Hotties

The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual

The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..

Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?

Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.

Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.

Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.

We continue with…

22. Lack Of Focus

PAY ATTENTION HOTTIES - that’s if you can actually keep your mind on the task at hand before the brain fog descends, rendering you completely stupefied, losing your focus, and having to ask yourself for the umpteenth time “What the f*ck am I supposed to be doing?!”

Whilst this can be an unsettling turn of events as - let’s be honest here hotties - we’re usually able to do several things at once with such aplomb! However, don’t despair ladies - this is probably our one and only chance to experience what it feels like to be a man with their innate inability to multitask - every cloud eh? ;) Then again, multitasking can be a tad overrated, and there’s a lot to be said for embracing simplicity, in all its forms!

Meanwhile, let’s take a moment to refocus on our lack of focus and find out what the cause of this particular phenomenon is all about. By now hotties, it should come as no surprise whatsoever to learn that we can ‘thank’ our wavering hormones. Step forward chief culprit oestrogen, whose levels are intimately connected to our brain function.

This hormone lies at the root of so many of our menopausal problems, as it encourages blood flow to the brain, BUT, when it decides to misbehave and fluctuate, then so do our concentration levels…

This puts us in a catch-22 situation because our lack of focus will worry us and in turn, feeling worried can make it harder to focus, which only exacerbates the situation further. With stress being one of the most common symptoms of the peri/menopause, just combine these two ‘heady’ factors and what do we have?

A hottie on the verge of:

  • Tears 
  • Tantrums
  • Exhaustion
  • Despair

To eloquently and elegantly sum it up hotties - we’re emotionally f*cked!

Let’s keep our eyes on the prize and focus on what we can do to eliminate - or at least minimise - these effects, which result in a lack of focus.

Focus, hotties…FOCUS…

As always, simple, affordable (free) lifestyle changes can help us maintain optimum levels of focus. So for those of us who can’t remember, here’s the drill.

  • Eat well
  • Hydrate 
  • Exercise
  • Sleep 

Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet filled with fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and lean proteins, especially those rich in Vitamin B which is credited with helping to bolster mental/cognitive function.

There are also a wide range of herbal remedies out there hotties, so do your research and generate some goodness from within.  And do try to limit your intake of processed foods, sugar, and junk food in general - these can make you sluggish and pile on the pounds!

Stay well-hydrated with water - your body, brain, skin and gut health will thank you for it in no time, and it is the cheapest ‘miracle magic potion’ out there!

Water is crucial to maintaining your body temperature and fluids are essential for our good health because when we are dehydrated we feel tired, get headaches, difficulty concentrating, etc. So stay focused fellow hotties and keep chugging that elixir of life. Just give alcohol and caffeine a wide berth where possible, and limit your consumption as they can both have a negative impact on your body during your peri/menopause journey.

We’re not being a food/drink fascist here hotties - a gal’s gotta live a little, but let’s try to keep the ‘treats and cheats’ to a minimum, yeah?!  Your wallet, wellbeing and waistline will thank you for it!

Try to exercise every day, but don’t stress yourself out by worrying how you will find the time and the energy for mammoth gym sessions! You can walk, swim, stretch, dance, do yoga/pilates etc. And hey - if you’re feeling particularly brave and daring - you could even tackle the housework! It ALL counts and adds up #SmallWins #BigResults

Sleep or rather quality sleep is essential during the peri/menopause, and while we know a good night’s sleep is harder to achieve than world peace, we can but try!! Persevere and develop a personalised sleep routine. Our suggestions include reading a book, listening to soothing music/guided meditations, or maybe a soothing soak in a warm bath, and a spritz of lavender spray is entirely optional! Find what works for you and go with the flow. And remember - put quality ahead of quantity - don’t get fixated on x number of hours sleep. Sleep science is developing all the time - there’s no ‘one size fits all’ here!


And when all else fails and you feel like you are completely losing your $hit, then fire up our FOCUS-FREE playlist - crank up the volume - dance like nobody is watching - sing like you’re winning!

And if you forget the lyrics - ah who gives a flying f*ck!? Fake it til you make it to the end of your menopause journey. Who knows - hopefully your focus and all your faculties will have returned.  And if not, you’ll probably be soooo all out of f*cks, and you will have embraced a whole new way of life which works for you, not against…

Therefore, in the words of that unsung philosopher, Eminem, get ready and go…

Lose Yourself - Eminem
Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor
Don’t Stop Believin’ - Journey
We Are The Champions - Queen
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
Believer - Imagine Dragons
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - The Eurythmics
My Way - Frank Sinatra
Fight Song - Rachel Platten
So What - P!nk
Titanium - David Guetta Feat. Sia
Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Hottie’s Menopause Manual

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Tags: Menopausal Hotties