25. Anxiety

The peri/menopause journey is rather like stepping onto a rollercoaster for the first time although with much less choice or warning!

You're scared $hitless because you don’t know how you are going to feel. Or what, or when.

You strap yourself in, then somebody comes to check that you’re secured properly.

They give you that knowing look - they know what’s ahead but you don’t; then off you go and there’s no stopping it. You’re in for the duration and there’s no getting off!

The journey starts with a slow chug-chug-chugging at first, lulling you into a false sense of security!

Ahhh, maybe this will be ok after all? Will it BOLLOCKS!?! Keep dreaming sisters - this ain’t no picnic!

As you ascend to the top of the ride, fear of the unknown cripples you and your anxiety levels reach Defcon 3.

You try to catch your breath but f*ck me, you’ve been launched over the top and are in total free fall as the ride twists and turns, throwing and rattling you from side to side; and then, just when you think you’re getting the measure of it, it decides to turn your world upside down!

What the actual f*ckety f*ck is happening now?

Ladies - it’s not so much Welcome to the Pleasuredome, but welcome to the MENOPAUSE! Sorry, Frankie…

Now if that little scenario hasn’t already given you the jitters, then ANOTHER of Mother Nature’s gift to us ladies of a certain age - step forward symptom No 25 on our long list of what the f*ck is going to be thrown at us next - ANXIETY, just might! And let’s nip this in the bud right here and now before you ask what’s the cause. You don’t need a fancy degree to work this one out. It’s those ever-fluctuating hormones causing mischief, mayhem and madness once more.

Now menopause can be an emotionally challenging experience at the best of times, but when your anxiety is let loose, well, it takes your stress management to a whole new level.

The anxiety can occur because falling oestrogen levels change the way our brains function, with oestrogen being linked to levels of serotonin (the happy hormone); and levels of cortisol (the stress hormone). So in a nutshell Hotties, when our oestrogen drops our serotonin drops and our cortisol rises, meaning our happiness levels lower whilst our stress levels elevate, leaving us anxious and pi$$ed off. What a gift eh?!?

Here is what we can look forward to if anxiety strikes:

• Fast heart rate
• Fast breathing
• Heart palpitations
• Chest pain
• Headaches
• Dry mouth
• Nausea
• Shaking or tremors
• Sweating
• Panic attacks – these are severe attacks of anxiety, fear, and panic that occur suddenly, often without warning, and for no apparent reason and can be very scary.

So how can we keep our anxiety in check fellow Hotties?

It’s always good to talk. Talk to fellow Hotties:

• Support groups where you can discuss symptoms and helpful strategies with fellow hotties. But remember - what works for others may not work for you. It can be trial and error. 
• Holistic therapists can recommend a whole host of therapies to help relax you and alleviate and reduce anxiety. Tho be warned, there are quite a few charlatans out there, ready to prey upon our anxiety and desperation!
• Most importantly, your GP/healthcare provider can help you navigate this complete $hit show, by prescribing suitable medication to alleviate symptoms or helping you get any therapy needed.

Next, follow the drill - it will help you to help yourself. It’s not rocket science ladies, it’s just common sense.

And to finish off with this little old chestnut: An anxiety-busting playlist to help you mellow out.

Weightless - Marconi Union
Pure Shores - All Saints
Strawberry Swing - Coldplay
Watermark - Enya
Sunshine On My Shoulders - John Denver
Under Pressure - Queen/David Bowie
Bridge Over Troubled Waters - Simon & Garfunkel
Patience - Take That
Let It Be - The Beatles
Footprints In The Sand - Leona Lewis
Viva Forever - Spice Girls
Time To Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli