December 2023

Menopausal Hotties

The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual

The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..

Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?

Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.

Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.

Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.

We continue with…

23. Lapses in memory

For many of us on this menopause journey, memory lapse can be one of the more unsettling symptoms, leaving us to wonder if we’ve completely lost the plot or are going bat$hit crazy!

Whichever way we look at it, it can be a worry as it can lead to many misconceptions, such as the belief that memory lapses are indicative of a far more serious issue; this means a stressed Hottie on the edge - who’s already trying to cope with a myriad of menopausal symptoms - can easily work herself into a tizz by thinking the very worst.

Add into the mix that you are already reaching DEFCON 3 stress levels and it’s ‘perfect’ recipe for an onslaught of tears, tantrums, exhaustion and despair!

Memory lapses are typically due to hormone fluctuations that occur during peri/menopause and are rarely a cause for concern, however, it can frighten the Granny pants off of us, so if you are troubled by your symptoms, then please seek advice from your GP to put your mind at rest.

When we approach menopause, levels of certain hormones in our bodies decrease. These diminishing levels and - in particular - that troublesome little bugger oestrogen, have a whole myriad of effects on our bodies and mind. It’s a complete mind- and mine-field out there, and we never know what symptom is going to blow up next!

Oestrogen can affect the functions of the brain, impacting upon our language skills, our mood, our attention span - including memory. Oestrogen is also directly linked to verbal word fluency, or the ability to remember names and words. So is it any wonder that as our oestrogen levels drop, that our memory suffers, rendering us stupefied or tripping over our words as we try to work out what we were saying, or who the hell we were trying to say it to?!?

And don’t get us started on us questioning ourselves as to “why am I in this room” or “what the f*ck did I come in here for?!?” We've all been there hotties, so don’t fret - you’re in excellent company!

If you only remember one thing on this journey, that is to (sparingly) use the  ‘ooops, I forgot - again’ Menopause Get Out Of Jail Free Card excuse whenever you want a little ‘me time’ and/or can’t be bothered to clean, make the tea, tidy up, iron, etc, etc. Menopause does have its perks - granted not that many ladies - so do use it and try not to abuse it too much, when ‘those moments’ come along!

Now where were we?

Ah yes, back to those fluctuating hormones which are the most common cause of memory lapses in peri/menopausal women. But do be warned that other risk factors can also trigger and exacerbate these stupefying symptoms, such as:

  • Alcohol
  • Medication to treat/manage other ailments and symptoms, e.g. sleeping pills, heart, low/high blood pressure, antidepressants, painkillers & tranquilisers
  • Vitamin deficiencies
  • Excessive workload or caring responsibilities
  • Stress
  • Poor diet
  • Lack of sleep

Fortunately hotties - whatever level of memory lapse you are experiencing - there are solutions.

What are these solutions?

You know the drill… Eat, sleep, rage/rave, repeat… Nooooo, not that drill ~ the other one!

you know the drill 23 fpt

And if you do feel like you're losing the plot, then take a gentle jog down memory lane with some thumping good tunes to get those feel-good endorphins energised.

The oldies are simply the best - thanks Tina - now let us see all of you shaking your tail feather!

Proud Mary - Tina Turner
Daydream Believer - The Monkees
Dance Yourself Dizzy - Liquid Gold
Bye Bye Baby - Bay City Rollers
You Win Again - Bee Gees
I Wanna Dance with Somebody - Whitney Houston
Alive And Kicking - Simple Minds
I’m in the Mood for Dancing - The Nolans
I’m So Excited - The Pointer Sisters
Making Your Mind Up - Bucks Fizz
Fame - Irene Cara
Simply The Best - Tina Turner

Hottie’s Menopause Manual

Tags: Menopausal Hotties