11:11 is widely considered an angel number, symbolising spiritual awakening, divine alignment and a powerful portal of manifestation. The belief being it is a gentle cosmic nudge from the universe reminding you that you are on the right path.
Seeing 11:11 can be interpreted as a wake-up call or a prompt to focus on your intentions – a moment to pause, reflect, and manifest what you desire.
Let’s give this issue’s theme the hotties treatment shall we?!
So, what do we hotties desire? Buckle up ladies, as this might get a little bumpy…
Spiritual awakening: never mind spiritual awakening! What we really want is, instead of dragging our weary, sleep-deprived butts out of bed whilst having intravenous coffee to give us the caffeine rush needed in order to function, we want to awaken feeling fresh as a daisy after having a wonderful dreamy slumber as soon as our heads hit that comfy pillow.
A night NOT disturbed by us doing the Hokey Cokey with the duvet because our bodies get so hot you could fry an egg on our arse! Tossing and turning, aching limbs, pins and needles, and the pièce de résistance – both our bodies and sheets drenched in sweat, thus forcing our sorry bodies out of bed to change the sheets and shower, only to re-enter hell again.
Once more unto the breach…
Divine alignment: bringing your thoughts, actions and purpose into harmony with a higher power, destiny or spiritual order.
Most days we can’t remember what the f*ck we’re doing, or who the hell we are, much less bring our thoughts into harmony! A higher power would be greatly appreciated if they could organise our days and provide a map of everything we own and where it belongs, so when we want something, we can actually friggin’ find it! Now that would be spiritual order!
Moving on to the powerful portal of manifestation: What we would really love to manifest is for the menopause to f*ck off and leave us in peace, or at the very least, to bring this $hitshow to a premature end, pronto tonto! We could manifest a remote control that fast forwards through the entire journey at warp speed, or skips various chapters that are mind-numbingly frustrating, downright depressing, terrifying, or frankly friggin’ evil! Perhaps this remote control could also pause all the irritating assholes around us from opening their mouths when the useless advice and disingenuous platitudes come pouring out. These idiotic tw*ts haven’t got a fecking clue!
Now let’s discuss this gentle cosmic nudge reminding us we’re on the right path. What we actually want to do is give this menopause a giant f*cking push to the edge of a cliff and boot it the f*ck off. Really Mother Nature, are you having a laugh?
11:11 is said to be a wake-up call, a moment to pause and reflect. Perhaps we should reflect on how our life used to be and then cry like a big friggin’ hormonal baby because our flabby arse and belly are heading south along with our saggy boobs. Our nails are brittle, our skin is dry, our hair is lacklustre, and so is our zest for life some days! And to top it off, our favourite alcoholic tipple gives us such a ferocious headache we can’t even get drunk to friggin’ forget about it all! Please drink/sulk responsibly!
All we hotties desire is a life with no brain fog, aches and pains, hot flushes, night sweats, and the 30-plus other symptoms this ‘wonderful’ experience delivers – not to mention the irritability that leads us to wanting to maim family members who have absolutely no f*cking clue what we are going through.
Apologies for the fruity language.
Spleen now sufficiently vented – now we ‘just’ need to remember to fecking breathe…
