March 2022

Menopausal Hotties

The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual

menopausal hotties profile photo

The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..

Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?

Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.

Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.

Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.

We continue with…

2: Hot Flushes

It’s time to focus on the second symptom on our list - it’s going to get a little steamy without a sauna in sight - as we get hot under the collar with Hot Flushes - or Flashes - depending which side of the pond you live. Anyhow, whichever way you say it, it’s sizzling hot and not necessarily in a good way! But don’t entirely abandon hope either…

Having hot flushes are probably one of *THE* most telltale signs of peri-menopause and menopause.

Imagine for a moment that you’re going about your daily business without a care in the world; perhaps having dinner with friends or family, out at the shopping centre, or simply sitting reading a good novel or catching up with your favourite TV show.

Feel perfectly comfortable, then, out of the blue, a wave of heat surges and floods through your body, bringing you out in beads of perspiration. Who the hell turned on the fire inside of you?

Ever blushed in your life, and felt your (facial) cheeks burn and tingle?! Well imagine that sensation - and then some - as your entire body seems to furiously ‘blush’ from the inside out, from head to toe!

Seriously, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You start stripping off any layers of clothes faster than Usain Bolt, frantically fanning yourself with whatever comes to hand, waving your hands around like you're shooing away swarms of bees. Go and stand in front of the open fridge or searching for water like you're in the desert and just spotted an oasis of utter chill and tranquility. Yep - it’s THAT intense and then some…

Then just as fast as it came, and as if like magic, ‘POOF!’ and it’s gone again, disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared. Bewildered, you’re left wondering what the heck just happened (or words to that effect). It can be so very unsettling and so intermittent, akin to a long lost relative turning up unannounced, dropping by to say hello once in a blue moon, or - more frequently - surging every few minutes. Crikey. What a ‘house guest’ to have eh?!?

So what is it that causes us hotties to have these Hot Flushes?

Our body's inner heat is governed and managed by our hormones. As we embark on our journey towards menopause our female hormones start to decrease. Even a little drop in oestrogen causes our inner thermostat - called the hypothalamus - to react; when it thinks the body is too warm it (helpfully!) triggers a chain of events to try and cool the body down known as a hot flush/flash.

So hotties, what can we do to help ourselves?

Well there are plenty of options:

  • Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) could help to boost your dwindling hormones
  • Natural remedies - such as clary sage, starflower (aka borage) oil and isoflavones - are reported to help manage symptoms
    Cut back on caffeine, alcohol and spices (what?? How very dare you!!)
  • Wear natural fabrics
  • Stay hydrated - pssst! Water really is a girl’s best friend!
  • Mindfulness, guided meditations, and relaxation techniques as the menopause can adversely impact your mood
  • Keep your environment nice and cool - and have your roomies invest in thermal underwear if they can’t stand the thermostat being on low!

These are just a few things for starters. Everyone’s journey is different and as unique as you.

Therefore, how you deal with ‘the change’ and all its eccentric ways is individual to you and you’ll need to decide what’s best for you, talk to an expert to guide you.

There is so much more awareness and coverage in the mainstream media, government debates and day to day life, compared to even a couple of years ago. And it’s heartening to see women gain the right to get the treatment they want/need.

The good news is that these flushes can be managed; they do pass, eventually becoming less frequent. Thank you Mother Nature, you’re too kind!

***DISCLAIMER However, just a little word of caution ~ if you are experiencing hot flushes, or any other symptoms giving you cause for concern, always check it out with your GP/health care professional to rule out any other potential cause***

Meanwhile hotties, stay cool and fabulous, and remember to invest in a fan, it’s a gal’s best friend. I’d marry mine if it were legal. You could say I’m my fan’s Number One Fan!!

Julie x


Hottie’s Menopause Manual

8. Loss of Libido

This next symptom on our long and exhaustive list is more than reminiscent of a certain Mr Powers. Austin Powers.

Not familiar with ‘his work’? Oh you are so missing a treat Hotties!

Austin Powers is a hilarious spoof of James Bond, spanning three films, starring such a wonderful cast of characters with, let’s say, very inventive names such as Alotta Fagina, Ivana Humpalot and Felicity Shagwell; and it is whilst ‘dallying’ with the latter of these lovely ladies that Austin incredulously announces - “I’ve lost my mojo!”

Oh boy, we feel your pain Austin and us Hotties totally understand. HOWEVER, let’s be totally honest here; whilst some of us are devastated to lose our libido, it has to be said - perhaps a tad controversially - that some women welcome that loss with open hands, celebrating the fact that they have a bona fide medical reason to not partake in any bedroom olympics for the foreseeable. No more faking headaches or orgasms for them!

So which category do you fall into dear Hottie?

Lamenting the loss of your libido? Or, celebrating the loss of your libido?

No matter which category you fall into, let’s delve a little deeper as we work out why many women’s libido ‘takes a hit’ during the perimenopause and menopause.

Libido is the term used to describe sexual interest or desire, and there are two main reasons for loss of libido during the menopause:

  • The psychological aspect, where a woman has no emotional interest in sex
  • The physical aspect, when a woman has vaginal dryness which can make intercourse painful, pretty much making the loss of libido a foregone conclusion

More than a third of women in perimenopause, or who are postmenopausal, report having sexual difficulties, from a lack of interest in sex, to trouble having an orgasm - and no surprises for guessing who or what the main culprit is in all of this - yep, you’ve guessed it, it’s those pesky hormones!

Oestrogen is the main female hormone and it takes a massive nosedive during peri/menopause.

Oestrogen allows the walls of the vagina to be healthy and lubricated. When the levels of oestrogen decrease, the vagina walls can become dry, less stretchy and irritated - and an irritable vagina is not a happy vagina! This can make sexual intercourse painful and it can lower desire, making it more challenging for you to become aroused.

To add to the list, lowered levels of oestrogen also result in hot flushes and night sweats, which can make a woman feel less attractive, with knock on effects to our libido. Ideally, we want to be that hot ‘n sweaty sex siren AFTER sex, not BEFORE!

And then we have good ol’ progesterone and testosterone, playing an all-important role with our libido levels.

Testosterone is the main hormone for causing sexual desire and progesterone stimulates the production of this hormone. However, during peri/menopause, levels of progesterone also reduce, resulting in loss of libido.

So what can we do Hotties to help us get over this little hiccup as quickly as possible, or not?! (I suppose much depends upon which category you fall into - lamenting or celebrating?)

Read on if you want to help that libido recover in double quick time!

  • Stick with us - we know this is going to sound boringly sensible, however, regular aerobic exercise can help increase stamina and strength. Exercising regularly can help you feel better about your image, and in turn, boost your libido - when you look good, you feel good.
    Or start out with some gentle yoga to help your body become your new flexible friend. You might also surprise your lover(s), and yourself, with some new found ‘moves’ as a result of your enhanced ‘flexibility’!
  • Spend time with your partner - when you lose intimacy with them your sexual desire will naturally decline. Out of sight…out of mind, and all that! It is vitally important you can talk to your partner to increase your emotional bond, and for them to understand what you are going through - they are not mind readers (thankfully!) so good communication is key! Try ‘Date Nights’…a romantic candlelit(?) meal, Netflix and chill or bring out the big guns…Nine And A Half Weeks (oh Mickey you’re so fine…), Ann Summers finest, Fifty Shades of Grey…you get the idea!
  • Try eating certain mood-boosting foods that are thought to help increase libido and blood flow to the genitals, foods which include magnesium, soy and protein, especially before and during ‘Date Night’! Apparently bananas, avocados, figs, dark chocolate, basil, and garlic are all thought to have such beneficial properties…Food shopping will never be the same again - and even less so after watching Nine And A Half Weeks!
  • Stress less - yes, we know this is easier said than done, however, stress has a negative impact on libido. The more you overthink - the worse you will feel. You can’t force yourself to feel sexy and ‘in the mood’, so try and relax and let it happen naturally. Youtube is awash with short guided meditations to help you unwind, relax and generally ‘switch off’. Just don’t listen to any whilst driving or operating heavy machinery, etc ;-)
  • If you have tried homemade, over the counter, and/or herbal remedies, yet feel they have had no effect on your overall ‘mojo’, it may be worth seeking medical advice (and tests) from your GP. They may be able to prescribe treatment to help with any hormone imbalance which may be the root of the problem.

I guess the moral of our tale is that with time and a little help, your libido can and will return - whether that’s a good thing or not - no judgement here - but for Austin Powers it was a very ‘shagadelic baby, yeah’ moment and a return to his mojo-tastic, form which he happily accepted with gusto!

Your libido may not be firing on all cylinders, but with some time, effort, a little TLC, and a helping hand, you hang on in there hottie, as things can only get better.

It’s a time to go exploring, where there’s a whole world of sex toys and essential lotions & potions out there to spice things up. They say variety is the spice of life and you are in the prime of your life Hotties. So grab the world by the (jiggle) balls and enjoy re-discovering your mojo!

As we bid you farewell for another month Hotties, we’ll leave you with some great songs to help you deal with the declining libido with a small medley from the Austin Powers movies:

Divinyls - I Touch Myself
Marvin Gaye - Let’s Get It On
and one of Austin’s all time favourites; Burt Bacharach - What The World Needs Now Is Love…

Stay groovy baby, yeah!

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Tags: Menopausal Hotties