Menopausal Hotties
The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual
The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..
Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?
Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.
Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.
Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.
We continue with…
2: Hot Flushes
It’s time to focus on the second symptom on our list - it’s going to get a little steamy without a sauna in sight - as we get hot under the collar with Hot Flushes - or Flashes - depending which side of the pond you live. Anyhow, whichever way you say it, it’s sizzling hot and not necessarily in a good way! But don’t entirely abandon hope either…
Having hot flushes are probably one of *THE* most telltale signs of peri-menopause and menopause.
Imagine for a moment that you’re going about your daily business without a care in the world; perhaps having dinner with friends or family, out at the shopping centre, or simply sitting reading a good novel or catching up with your favourite TV show.
Feel perfectly comfortable, then, out of the blue, a wave of heat surges and floods through your body, bringing you out in beads of perspiration. Who the hell turned on the fire inside of you?
Ever blushed in your life, and felt your (facial) cheeks burn and tingle?! Well imagine that sensation - and then some - as your entire body seems to furiously ‘blush’ from the inside out, from head to toe!
Seriously, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You start stripping off any layers of clothes faster than Usain Bolt, frantically fanning yourself with whatever comes to hand, waving your hands around like you're shooing away swarms of bees. Go and stand in front of the open fridge or searching for water like you're in the desert and just spotted an oasis of utter chill and tranquility. Yep - it’s THAT intense and then some…
Then just as fast as it came, and as if like magic, ‘POOF!’ and it’s gone again, disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared. Bewildered, you’re left wondering what the heck just happened (or words to that effect). It can be so very unsettling and so intermittent, akin to a long lost relative turning up unannounced, dropping by to say hello once in a blue moon, or - more frequently - surging every few minutes. Crikey. What a ‘house guest’ to have eh?!?
So what is it that causes us hotties to have these Hot Flushes?
Our body's inner heat is governed and managed by our hormones. As we embark on our journey towards menopause our female hormones start to decrease. Even a little drop in oestrogen causes our inner thermostat - called the hypothalamus - to react; when it thinks the body is too warm it (helpfully!) triggers a chain of events to try and cool the body down known as a hot flush/flash.
So hotties, what can we do to help ourselves?
Well there are plenty of options:
- Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) could help to boost your dwindling hormones
- Natural remedies - such as clary sage, starflower (aka borage) oil and isoflavones - are reported to help manage symptoms
Cut back on caffeine, alcohol and spices (what?? How very dare you!!) - Wear natural fabrics
- Stay hydrated - pssst! Water really is a girl’s best friend!
- Mindfulness, guided meditations, and relaxation techniques as the menopause can adversely impact your mood
- Keep your environment nice and cool - and have your roomies invest in thermal underwear if they can’t stand the thermostat being on low!
These are just a few things for starters. Everyone’s journey is different and as unique as you.
Therefore, how you deal with ‘the change’ and all its eccentric ways is individual to you and you’ll need to decide what’s best for you, talk to an expert to guide you.
There is so much more awareness and coverage in the mainstream media, government debates and day to day life, compared to even a couple of years ago. And it’s heartening to see women gain the right to get the treatment they want/need.
The good news is that these flushes can be managed; they do pass, eventually becoming less frequent. Thank you Mother Nature, you’re too kind!
***DISCLAIMER However, just a little word of caution ~ if you are experiencing hot flushes, or any other symptoms giving you cause for concern, always check it out with your GP/health care professional to rule out any other potential cause***
Meanwhile hotties, stay cool and fabulous, and remember to invest in a fan, it’s a gal’s best friend. I’d marry mine if it were legal. You could say I’m my fan’s Number One Fan!!
Love
Julie x
Hottie’s Menopause Manual
30. Hayfever & Allergies
“I’ll be back” - those famous immortal words uttered by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator films could have been specifically (m)uttered about the peri/menopause!
Why/how you may ask…?
Well, just when you thought you were about to make it through to the other side, to escape the onslaught of symptoms thrown at you daily, then lo and behold, they come back at you, sometimes stronger than before, sometimes loaded with a new arsenal of weapons, ready to attack again; and - like Arnie - these symptoms are bloody relentless! Those pesky menopause symptoms need to be terminated once and for all.
Unfortunately for us hotties, we have to patiently wait out our ‘dark fate’ and soldier on as best as we can, waiting for ‘salvation’, when lo and behold, (yet) ANOTHER symptom rears its ugly head.
It’s ‘judgment day’ for hayfever & allergies.
When our immune system comes under stress, it releases histamines, which cause allergic reactions. Due to the intimate connection between our hormones and our immune system, it is not unusual to notice some changes to our allergy profile during the peri/menopause.
The hormonal changes of peri/menopause affect the nervous system, digestion and sleep thus causing significant fatigue, all of which leads to a weakened immune system, which can make us hotties prone to hayfever and allergies, even if we have not been previously affected by them.
The most common symptoms of histamine in peri/menopause are rashes, itching, flushing, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), indigestion, breathlessness, palpitations, migraine, dizziness, anxiety/panic, joint aches and nasal congestion.
So, how do we go about terminating this (not so) little list of goodies?
- Keep an eye out for what’s triggering your allergies. Forewarned is forearmed
- Staying well-hydrated will help by reducing the concentration of histamines in your system
- Plenty of sleep will help take the stress off your immune system
Most importantly, don’t forget the peri/menopause drill and our helpful playlist of kick-ass tunes to terminate those menopause blues and stick two fingers up to whatever symptoms you are currently experiencing.
As with anything related to our bodies and our health, if you are experiencing difficulties, it makes sense to seek advice from your GP or health professional to see if there are any medications or other treatments that may help your symptoms.
So listen up hotties - this famous quote from Terminator is bang on the money and we should take inspiration from it:
"The future has not been written.
There's no fate but what we make for ourselves"
The menopause is going to take its course in some form or another whether we like it or not; but how we deal with it is entirely up to us. We can either sit there, let it take over and wreck our lives, or we can rise up, stare it in the face, look it in the eye, and tell it to back the f*ck off!
It will not defeat us - because what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.
A sense of humour is vital for dealing with this erratic and occasionally overwhelming period of our lives and armed with important information, knowledge, understanding and support, then we can kick this Terminator's arse and cheekily bid it adios - hasta la vista, baby!
Uprising - Muse
Titanium - David Guetta feat. Sia
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Survivor - Destiny’s Child
Fuck You - Lily Allen
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
I’m Still Standing - Elton John
Set You Free - N-Trance
Rise - Katy Perry
Roar - Katy Perry
Take On Me - A-Ha
Things Can Only Get Better - D’Ream
The Only Way Is Up - Yazz and the Plastic Population
Let’s Go - Calvin Harris feat. Ne-Yo
Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) - Backstreet Boys
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