The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual
The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..
Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?
Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.
Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.
Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.
We continue with…
2: Hot Flushes
It’s time to focus on the second symptom on our list - it’s going to get a little steamy without a sauna in sight - as we get hot under the collar with Hot Flushes - or Flashes - depending which side of the pond you live. Anyhow, whichever way you say it, it’s sizzling hot and not necessarily in a good way! But don’t entirely abandon hope either…
Having hot flushes are probably one of *THE* most telltale signs of peri-menopause and menopause.
Imagine for a moment that you’re going about your daily business without a care in the world; perhaps having dinner with friends or family, out at the shopping centre, or simply sitting reading a good novel or catching up with your favourite TV show.
Feel perfectly comfortable, then, out of the blue, a wave of heat surges and floods through your body, bringing you out in beads of perspiration. Who the hell turned on the fire inside of you?
Ever blushed in your life, and felt your (facial) cheeks burn and tingle?! Well imagine that sensation - and then some - as your entire body seems to furiously ‘blush’ from the inside out, from head to toe!
Seriously, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You start stripping off any layers of clothes faster than Usain Bolt, frantically fanning yourself with whatever comes to hand, waving your hands around like you're shooing away swarms of bees. Go and stand in front of the open fridge or searching for water like you're in the desert and just spotted an oasis of utter chill and tranquility. Yep - it’s THAT intense and then some…
Then just as fast as it came, and as if like magic, ‘POOF!’ and it’s gone again, disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared. Bewildered, you’re left wondering what the heck just happened (or words to that effect). It can be so very unsettling and so intermittent, akin to a long lost relative turning up unannounced, dropping by to say hello once in a blue moon, or - more frequently - surging every few minutes. Crikey. What a ‘house guest’ to have eh?!?
So what is it that causes us hotties to have these Hot Flushes?
Our body's inner heat is governed and managed by our hormones. As we embark on our journey towards menopause our female hormones start to decrease. Even a little drop in oestrogen causes our inner thermostat - called the hypothalamus - to react; when it thinks the body is too warm it (helpfully!) triggers a chain of events to try and cool the body down known as a hot flush/flash.
So hotties, what can we do to help ourselves?
Well there are plenty of options:
- Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) could help to boost your dwindling hormones
- Natural remedies - such as clary sage, starflower (aka borage) oil and isoflavones - are reported to help manage symptoms
Cut back on caffeine, alcohol and spices (what?? How very dare you!!)
- Wear natural fabrics
- Stay hydrated - pssst! Water really is a girl’s best friend!
- Mindfulness, guided meditations, and relaxation techniques as the menopause can adversely impact your mood
- Keep your environment nice and cool - and have your roomies invest in thermal underwear if they can’t stand the thermostat being on low!
These are just a few things for starters. Everyone’s journey is different and as unique as you.
Therefore, how you deal with ‘the change’ and all its eccentric ways is individual to you and you’ll need to decide what’s best for you, talk to an expert to guide you.
There is so much more awareness and coverage in the mainstream media, government debates and day to day life, compared to even a couple of years ago. And it’s heartening to see women gain the right to get the treatment they want/need.
The good news is that these flushes can be managed; they do pass, eventually becoming less frequent. Thank you Mother Nature, you’re too kind!
***DISCLAIMER However, just a little word of caution ~ if you are experiencing hot flushes, or any other symptoms giving you cause for concern, always check it out with your GP/health care professional to rule out any other potential cause***
Meanwhile hotties, stay cool and fabulous, and remember to invest in a fan, it’s a gal’s best friend. I’d marry mine if it were legal. You could say I’m my fan’s Number One Fan!!
Hottie’s Menopause Manual
12. Weight Gain
We know Christmas has been and gone, leaving most people sporting an extra inch or two and wobblier bits, blaming the excess chocolate, desserts, nibbles and alcohol that was so enthusiastically consumed in such a short period. However, LUCKILY us hotties have a secret weapon in our not-so-little-arsenal of excuses, as we begin the new year.
It’s not often we can ‘thank’ the menopause for many things, but this little nugget may help us feel a whole lot better about ourselves as we enter a new year, thinking what complete and utter gluttons we were, during the festive season. Although we ate in moderation (cos that’s what we do - or at least try to), but those pesky old hormones were messing with us once again - resulting in weight gain!
Well that’s our excuse and we’re sticking to it!!
So why exactly do some peri/menopausal women experience weight gain?
Yep…you’ve guessed it…it’s those bloody hormones AGAIN!
Our ever-fluctuating hormone levels affect the way we store fat, and during the peri/menopause our bodies tend to store more calories than they burn, thus causing a build up of fat.
Other symptoms caused by those pesky fluctuating hormones can also indirectly affect our weight, such as night sweats and insomnia, resulting in you having less energy and the ability to take part in regular exercise, because the lack of activity is likely to lead to more weight gain. Vicious cycle or what?!?
ANOTHER factor is that our muscle mass decreases during peri/menopause which translates to our body requiring fewer calories and if we don’t reduce our calorie intake hotties, we end up eating more than our bodies require, and before you know it, wham, bam, thank you ma’am, our muffin top has turned into a cake shelf!
It’s not rocket science the experts say - we do need to eat less and move more! Quite literally, every little helps!
Easier said than done when you’re a hot, sweaty, knackered mess, who cannot sleep and would gleefully murder or maim their family at the drop of a hat because they have absolutely ZERO understanding of just what you and your body are experiencing.
Their sympathy levels are pretty much non-existent, as is your patience. Probably best for a ‘time out’. For everyone!
Just take yourself off to your quiet and happy place until you calm down - but leave your ‘comfort blanket’ - a Hottie's secret codeword for chocolate, wine, biscuits, cake or any other calorific ‘treats’ - behind! Lavender spray, some herbal tea, and some soothing sounds are probably your (new) best friends at times like these…
So how do we combat this full on assault from the peri/menopause body snatchers?
Don’t fall into the trap of cutting out all treats and embark on an unsustainable diet or exercise regime that you know will end in failure, leaving you feeling like a failure and more deflated than ever.
- Rather than cutting out completely, try switching out refined carbohydrates for their complex cousins. Swap white bread and rice for the wholemeal varieties
- To help you feel fuller for longer you need to keep your protein intake high with lean meats, poultry, fish, eggs, and dairy foods
- Fill half your plate with colourful fruit and vegetables - a diet rich in fruit and vegetables can help lower blood pressure, reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke, prevent some types of cancer, lower the risk of digestive problems, plus have a positive effect upon blood sugar, which can help keep those hunger pangs at bay.
- Choose fats wisely and eat meals with healthy fats to counter any weight gain. Think oily fish, nuts, olives, eggs and avocado. Cut down on the cheese, chocolate fudge cake, calorific pastries and Big Macs, or your belly will end up a Whopper!
- Watch your portion sizes - sometimes our eyes can be bigger than our bellies - we don’t need to finish off the plate or stuff ourselves until we feel sick!
- Bring some structure to your day with proper meal times instead of grazing 24/7 - we are not cattle, and mindlessly shoving food into our mouths is totally unnecessary unless you want that cake shelf to expand into a cake stall!
- Remember to drink plenty of water. How many times have you thought you’re hungry when actually you were dehydrated, and all you needed was a glass (or two) of water? You don’t need me to extol the benefits of water - it’s a no-brainer!
- Vary your workouts and try new activities so you don’t end up getting bored, and stopping all activity in favour of retreating to the comfort of your sofa with a cuppa and a choccy biscuit!
- Find a friend or group to exercise with - try walking, swimming, cycling. What about yoga or tai chi? You might want to join a gym for some weight-lifting or strength-training. Try exercise classes that specialise in HIIT (high-intensity interval training).
- If group activities aren't your thing you can go for a brisk walk (dog optional), buy a hula hoop and revisit your childhood. Pop on an exercise video/ online tutorials or bop til you drop in your own front room - anything goes!
And for when you're exercising or need to take to distract you from becoming a fridge/cupboard raider - here’s a playlist of some thumptastic tunes.
Broken Heels - Alexandra Burke
Dancing queen - Abba
Everybody (backstreet’s Back) - Backstreet Boys
Heaven Is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle
House of Love - East 17
I Wanna Dance with Somebody - Whitney Houston
Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) - A.R. Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls ft. Nicole Scherzinger
Making Your Mind Up - Bucks Fizz
On The Floor (feat. Pitbull) - Jennifer Lopez
The Only Way Is Up - Yazz
Ooh Aah (Just A Little Bit) - Gina G
Reach - S Club 7
Rhythm Is A Dancer - Snap
Spice Up Your Life - Spice Girls
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead Or Alive
Tags: Menopausal Hotties