June 2022

Menopausal Hotties

The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual

menopausal hotties profile photo

The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..

Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?

Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.

Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.

Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.

We continue with…

5. Water & gas bloating

Exploring the menopause’s many (or should that be meno?!) symptoms, one at a time!

As we whoosh on through our hotties’ list of menopausal symptoms it’s time to brace yourself as we explore ‘water and gas bloating’. Oh yes hotties, we ARE soooo going to go there.

Well you could have blown me down with a feather when entering peri menopause. What the actual heck? My abdomen started blowing up and down as if there was an alien inside mimicking a bicycle pump. My stomach would literally grow before my very eyes. One minute my jeans were fitting, the next I was bursting through and spilling out over the top.

My tummy stretched so much that it was now *that* time - oh yes, the time had come to purchase some Bridget Jones BIG pants. Oh the joy of it, a pair of pants which could cope with my ever-expanding abdomen without the urge to roll down and me constantly yanking them back up. My poor lacy undies soon became demoted from prime drawer space to a more sparse, ‘occasion-wear’ drawer. Sob!

Everything I ate seemed to create a whirlpool of wind that would whip up from out of nowhere, and sneak out without any warning and when I least expected it. Of course it goes without saying that it was hardly ever discreet either, not embarrassing at all right hotties?

And talk about being a passion killer! I’ve never had to flush the toilet so often in a pitiful attempt to disguise the noisy wind machine I was turning into.

The same could be said with water. Although we need to stay hydrated, as a hottie our tummies seem to hold onto it - I call it my camel tummy… except I’m not planning on trekking through the desert. Boy oh boy, who knew that gas and water bloating was an actual thing, and one of the documented symptoms of this menopausal journey.

So why do we start to bloat?

Bloating is one of the most common symptoms of menopause and perimenopause.
It’s thought that the drop in oestrogen (female hormone), which helps maintain the correct amount of water and bile in the body, is responsible. As its levels begin to decrease, we can store more water, which makes us feel bloated. And if that’s not enough, the amount of bile we produce can alter, which in turn affects how we digest fat, leading to more wind. Yep - so double the trouble!

***N.B. ALWAYS be aware that there can be other causes for bloating, so please, please, please always check with a medical professional to eliminate any other serious underlying health concerns or issues***

So what can we do?

Here are a few suggestions which have been found to be helpful.

  • Eating small and often can help aid your metabolism and ease digestion
  • Drink plenty of water to help with the elimination of toxins
  • Avoid/consume in moderation beans and soft cheeses - these can be notorious ‘windy weather’ culprits
  • Gentle exercise and relaxation such as yoga can help
  • Peppermint or other digestive teas and herbal infusions can help with trapped wind
  • Don’t eat too late or too heavily at night
  • Avoid too much caffeine and alcohol as they are diuretics - decaff has come such a long way, as have low/no alcohol drinks

Whatever you do hotties, be assured these are all pretty much part and parcel of this crazy menopausal ride. So if you want some uplifting ‘wind beneath your [bingo] wings’, look no further for your inspiration, than Gone with The Wind! (cringe)

You can hold your head high - while keeping hold of your nose - and say to your quivering critics - “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Meanwhile, stay fragrant and fabulous hotties!

Love
Julie

Hottie’s Menopause Manual

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Tags: Menopausal Hotties