July 2022

Menopausal Hotties

The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual

menopausal hotties profile photo

The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..

Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?

Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.

Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.

Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.

We continue with…

6. Vaginal Dryness

Exploring the 34 symptoms, one at a time.

Our topic in this month’s issue is ‘vaginal dryness’. Holy Moly! Did you just say dry vagina? Yep, we sure did!

This is a sensitive issue for many hotties, although it’s not often the hottest discussion topic on those daytime (or night-time) talk shows.

I can’t ever remember hearing a discussion between the presenter and guests going something like:

“Ohhh, my vagina is a bit dry today, how's yours?”

But why the hell not? Fact of life - it’s totally normal for this to happen. So hotties, don’t be shy, let’s delve in deeper. So to speak…

Fun (not!) factoid for you.

Did you know that there are reportedly 50-70% of post menopausal women who have shared that vaginal dryness is a major issue for them, saying it’s one of the causes for lack of sex, drive and desire in their previously flourishing love life?

It’s also an everyday life challenge with irritation and discomfort.

Vaginal dryness is associated with the drop in oestrogen hormone levels; this drop in hormone levels can contribute to thinning of the uterus walls which could make everyday life and penetrative sex more painful and uncomfortable. We don’t have to put up with it.

The levels of dryness can vary for us hotties, with some women suffering more than others, yet still equally frustrating.

Unfortunately, we can be shy (really, you don’t say) when it comes to talking openly about our less than moist vaginas, it can be a ‘peri’ side effect we didn’t even realise was one, and some hotties may feel embarrassed by this.

Listen up hotties, there is no embarrassment here, well not on our hottie watch. It's real, it’s a fact and we WILL take control.

No more suffering in silence, we don’t have to put up with it. There is help at hand. Say no to vaginal dryness!

Thankfully, there is some good news…
Hotties - with far more education, choice and awareness you can find the right help that works for you.

You’re in your prime and it’s time to step out of the desert-dry spell and into your luscious oasis. No one puts hottie in the desert. No camels for us, toes or otherwise...

There is a variety of lotions, potions, lubes and creams which may help.

Speak to your doctor about which options are right for you, such as hormone replacement therapies, hormone creams that directly target the vagina to thicken the uterus wall, helping with moisture production.

There are many lubricants that you may want to try that could help with ‘friction’, or if you want to spice up your love life these potions could become part of a new enlightened foreplay.

Talk to someone - you are not alone. Share your concerns and experience with a trusted health professional, friend, partner or fellow hottie. You may be pleasantly surprised how much support and understanding there is out there.

Hell, why not experiment? Take the opportunity to educate yourself (and your partner if you have one too). Who knows? We could learn some new tricks.

Could more mean more ?

Apparently some hotties report that they have actually found an increase in libido once they had resolved the issue or found a satisfactory solution to dryness possibly due to eliminating their fear of pain.

It’s also shown that the more frequent sex we have, that the more pelvic blood flow we generate, which can add to more moisture as long as you feel good and comfortable of course.

Now remember hotties - whatever you decide is right for you is totally the right choice.

It’s your body, which you are in full control of, and it’s your menopause journey.

Stay healthy and happy hotties. Here’s to no more vaginal dryness.

Squishily and moisturisingly yours…

Love J x


Hottie’s Menopause Manual

30. Hayfever & Allergies

“I’ll be back” - those famous immortal words uttered by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator films could have been specifically (m)uttered about the peri/menopause!

Why/how you may ask…?

Well, just when you thought you were about to make it through to the other side, to escape the onslaught of symptoms thrown at you daily, then lo and behold, they come back at you, sometimes stronger than before, sometimes loaded with a new arsenal of weapons, ready to attack again; and - like Arnie - these symptoms are bloody relentless! Those pesky menopause symptoms need to be terminated once and for all.

Unfortunately for us hotties, we have to patiently wait out our ‘dark fate’ and soldier on as best as we can, waiting for ‘salvation’, when lo and behold, (yet) ANOTHER symptom rears its ugly head.

It’s ‘judgment day’ for hayfever & allergies.

When our immune system comes under stress, it releases histamines, which cause allergic reactions. Due to the intimate connection between our hormones and our immune system, it is not unusual to notice some changes to our allergy profile during the peri/menopause.

The hormonal changes of peri/menopause affect the nervous system, digestion and sleep thus causing significant fatigue, all of which leads to a weakened immune system, which can make us hotties prone to hayfever and allergies, even if we have not been previously affected by them.

The most common symptoms of histamine in peri/menopause are rashes, itching, flushing, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), indigestion, breathlessness, palpitations, migraine, dizziness, anxiety/panic, joint aches and nasal congestion.

So, how do we go about terminating this (not so) little list of goodies?

  • Keep an eye out for what’s triggering your allergies. Forewarned is forearmed
  • Staying well-hydrated will help by reducing the concentration of histamines in your system
  • Plenty of sleep will help take the stress off your immune system

Most importantly, don’t forget the peri/menopause drill and our helpful playlist of kick-ass tunes to terminate those menopause blues and stick two fingers up to whatever symptoms you are currently experiencing.

As with anything related to our bodies and our health, if you are experiencing difficulties, it makes sense to seek advice from your GP or health professional to see if there are any medications or other treatments that may help your symptoms.

So listen up hotties - this famous quote from Terminator is bang on the money and we should take inspiration from it:

"The future has not been written.
There's no fate but what we make for ourselves"

The menopause is going to take its course in some form or another whether we like it or not; but how we deal with it is entirely up to us. We can either sit there, let it take over and wreck our lives, or we can rise up, stare it in the face, look it in the eye, and tell it to back the f*ck off!

It will not defeat us - because what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.

A sense of humour is vital for dealing with this erratic and occasionally overwhelming period of our lives and armed with important information, knowledge, understanding and support, then we can kick this Terminator's arse and cheekily bid it adios -  hasta la vista, baby!

Uprising - Muse
Titanium - David Guetta feat. Sia
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Survivor - Destiny’s Child
Fuck You - Lily Allen
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
I’m Still Standing - Elton John
Set You Free - N-Trance
Rise - Katy Perry
Roar - Katy Perry
Take On Me - A-Ha
Things Can Only Get Better - D’Ream
The Only Way Is Up - Yazz and the Plastic Population
Let’s Go - Calvin Harris feat. Ne-Yo
Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) - Backstreet Boys

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Tags: Menopausal Hotties