Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
You’ve been threatening to de-clutter your wardrobe for a very long time, possibly more than a decade? Well duckie, it’s time to stop thinking and start doing before the mess gets (even further) out of hand, AND the gateway to Narnia at the back of the wardrobe is lost forever. Perish the thought! So before you destroy your wonderful childhood memories, start digging your way through what now resembles a warehouse for all the jumble sales around the UK, and be brave and brutal with your choices. What does or doesn’t survive the all-important cull could have major consequences on your wardrobe and your conscience. #FashionFavoursTheBold
Stay calm and keep your language neutral when dealing with hypocritical morons who have nothing better to do than gossip, snigger and b*tch about other people, especially when they decide to attack how someone looks. You need to feel sorry for the pathetic plastic wannabe clones who take pleasure in sucking the fun out of fashion, and wouldn’t know anything about individuality and uniqueness even if their lives depended on it. Embrace who you are sweetie and celebrate the fact that you stand out from the crowd and don’t look like you came off the Love Island factory production line! #LoveAndOwnYourQuirks
Can’t stop dreaming about that handbag you recently happened upon online? You didn’t mean to go hunting for unusual and unique fashion items, honestly your Honour! In fact you had faithfully promised yourself to save some money for a rainy day instead of blowing your wages the minute they landed in your bank account...HOWEVER, we fashion gods do NOT judge and the merest hint of moisture in the air justifies it being a rainy day in our book! The moral is: it’s your money sweetie and do with it as you damn well please, and if you end up skint, at least you’ll look fabulous whilst being cash-deprived! #MyLifeMyDecisions
Keep your eyes on the prize! Long have you reigned as queen and rightful heir to the fashion crown that has taken up residence on your perfectly coiffed barnet. Let it be known by royal proclamation that you have absolutely NO intentions of relinquishing the title you worked so bloody hard to secure in the first place! And, for that matter, anyone daring to topple your crown had better come with their A-game because you have seen off many a chancer who has the audacity to think they can tread on your billowing train, overthrow your reign,and stage a coup on your crown! Long live the queen! #ItsARoyalKnockout
You dream of laying on a sun-drenched beach, cocktail in one hand, filthy novel in the other, looking and feeling fabulous. Unfortunately, your reality is good ol’ Blighty with its unpredictable weather, some crazy over the top prices because so many are taking advantage of the situation, leaving most people with few alternatives to a Staycation. Adding insult to injury, traffic and transport systems are feeling the strain because everyone else has had the same idea too! We feel your pain sweetie and desperate times call for desperate measures...so, get yourself down to the supermarket, stock up on the cocktail ingredients, fire up the Kindle AND crank up the heating, erect a sunlounger in your favourite room, don the bikini, sarong and shades, et voila! Home from home, with NONE of the hassle! #WhereTheresAWillTheresAWay
You’re draining your emergency cash stash to fund your out of control shoe shopping addiction. Now while we fashion gods love a pair of new shiny shoes, the bottom line is you only have one pair of feet and just the one lifetime in which to wear them all. By all means splash the cash on other items if you must, however, a word of caution - it doesn’t matter how good you look - if you haven’t got the money or events to socialise at, then NOBODY is going to see your precious wardrobe unless you’re a sad wannabe influencer who thinks the whole world wants to see an endless parade of them in various outfits. You’re a fashionista, not a centipede! #BudgetCutsRequired
Sometimes it’s necessary to put yourself first sweetie and, although others may need your help - especially when putting together an amazing outfit for a special event - REMEMBER, you are numero uno on the list of importance! Once and only once you have finished creating what will undoubtedly be the outfit of the century, only then dear fashionista will you have the time, space and patience to help others in need. It’s the generous and charitable thing to do, not to mention the feelgood factor it brings, AND, it will earn you Brownie points which can be safely stashed away in the memory box, to be retrieved at a later date when required. #FashionKnowledgeIsPower
A little self-care and lots of pamper time need to be on this month’s menu. It’s time to go a little mad and splurge on yourself for a change. Throw caution to the wind and go on a shopping spree, buying things that make your heart swoon and give you a good old dose of goosebumps. Just be careful not to go full-on Julia Roberts, a la Pretty Woman and end up bankrupt, just because you got a teeny tiny bit carried away. REALITY CHECK - you are NOT a Hollywood A-list actress playing a sex-worker who has landed on her feet/back and snared herself a billionaire boyfriend. #KeepYourHeadOutOfTheCloudsAndYourFeetOnTheGround
That’s more like it sweetie. You’re finally getting back to your sociable and glamorous self and not a minute too soon. Boy have you missed all the shopping sprees for killer outfits that are just perfect for all the boozy days out and wild parties that have now materialised on your full to capacity calendar. Your excitement has reached fever pitch, as never in your darkest days did you ever think it were possible that life would go back to any semblance of normality. Now, those memories of sitting on a couch, stuffing yourself silly, trying to avoid the doom and gloom news channels seem like a very dim and distant, mad, bad surreal dream. #EmbraceAndLiveLifeToTheFull
It’s wedding season and just lately it’s been like the bus service: running late, waiting ages for one to come along, then three bloody come along at once! Now that restrictions are finally lifting, it seems that every eligible couple has decided to tie the knot at the same time, and now those invites are pouring in thick and fast. You can’t keep up and neither do you want to! It can be mentally as well as physically exhausting. So, a wee word of caution - pick your invites wisely and don’t over commit, otherwise you may end up wearing the same outfit on more than one occasion, and watch your fashionista status go right up the swanny...unless of course, you’re a dab hand at reworking the same outfit beyond recognition! #IHaveARepToProtect
Express yourself through fashion. Throw out those tame neutral colours and YES, we do know that there are 50 shades of grey, HOWEVER, each one can be as dreary as the next and see you drowning in a sea of ‘meh’. So ditch those as well sweetie and invest in a little colour. Actually, make that a LOT of colour! Be flamboyant and make a statement. Tho if you err on the cautious side, then maybe start off slowly with some bright and colourful accessories, gradually building up to a portfolio of fabulous and unique pieces which show your personality, quirks and all! You want all eyes on you. Trust us...we’re fashion gods and we know what we’re talking about! #BeFunBeFabulousBeFashion
Never mind financial goals...this month it’s all about fashion goals. With autumn fast approaching and the stores chock-a-block with gorgeous clothes in sumptuous colours and fabrics, it’s time to get that capsule wardrobe wish list sorted, and by that we mean, you’ve pictured it, tried it on and purchased it, and now, it’s hanging in your wardrobe ready and waiting to be worn when the time is right. Once this important task has been finished, then you can take a sneaky peek at your bank balance and, providing you don’t have too many palpitations when it flashes up on the screen, THEN start on your financial goal planning. #GetYourPrioritiesRight