Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Fashion fatigue creeps up on you slowly when you least expect it. NEVER would you have expected to reach that particular summit so soon, with nowhere else to go but straight back to base camp. Do not look at this as a failure young fashionista but rather as an opportunity to ‘go back to basics’. Keep it simple. Stop trying so hard to discover the ultimate perfect outfit. We’ll let you in on a little secret; ‘it doesn’t exist’! Shock waves may take over your whole body, however when you calm down and see things rationally, you will realise that we fashion gods are right and a huge weight will be lifted off those gorgeous shoulder pads of yours, and give you a whole new perspective on life #GetBackInTheRealWorld
Boundaries could get blurry if you allow certain friends to overstep the mark. Now we are all in favour of a little constructive criticism or ‘feedback’ regarding our fashion choices, HOWEVER, when said friends let that little bit of power go to their heads and become the boring brigade complete with clipboard, pen and their very own list of fashion do’s and don’ts ...well sweetie, that’s when the alarm bells sound and those newly-identified frenemies should be swiftly told to stick their opinions and the clipboards ‘elsewhere’... Honestly, give someone a title, a lanyard, and a sparkly name badge and they think they can rule the fashion world! #TooMuchPowerIsNeverAGoodThing
Feeling fashion frazzled? All shopped out and nowhere to go? Well duckie, it’s time to stop the shop and finally show off the goodies you have acquired lately, get out there and socialise. STOP sitting alone, ogling your fash-stash in the privacy of your boudoir! It needs to be seen - preferably on your body when you are out and about, enjoying your new found freedoms with friends and finally maskless! Now you can devour those delicious cocktails, whilst looking utterly fabulous AND without the stress of having to coordinate your mask to your chosen outfit. #TheSimplePleasures
You are so very, very bored and soooo totally over hunting down incredibly unique fashion pieces, that you have hit a plateau. It’s time to step back, enjoy the pleasure of what you actually have rather than trying to outdo yourself on a daily basis. It’s exhausting darling, and quite frankly not even an Olympian could keep up with your shopping stamina! Temporarily focus on other things and hopefully your enthusiasm will return when required. In the meantime, why not celebrate what you have got, creating lots of events to showcase your unbelievable fashion collection and perhaps award yourself rose gold, silver and bronze outfit medals. #FashionOlympics
Where’s your bravado sweetie? Don’t let self doubt creep in and sabotage your fashion dreams. You need to be brave and bold, colourful and fun. Nobody remembers a beige outfit that drowns in a sea of ‘meh’...however, they do remember something bright, flashy, dazzling and absolutely fabulous. Why blend in when you were born to stand out. So, without further ado... take a deep breath and a large brandy (purely for medicinal purposes), ignore the haters and the sniggering, snobby fashion elite, and wear what you want, how you want, when you want! #StuffYourOpinion
You’re pushing your fashionista skills to the limit and are on the verge of creative burnout, financial ruin and a visit to fashion rehab where you will be chanting “my name is [insert name] and I’m a shop-a-holic” for the next few weeks unless you seriously reign in your shopping (and spending) habits. For the love of Prada sweetie please try relaxing, stop striving for perfection and the ultimate wardrobe, and MAYBE, just maybe, you might enjoy glamming up and going out once more, without the added pressure of always having to maintain ‘top dog’ fashion status; and that’s not to mention your bank account breathing a massive sigh of relief! #KeepCalmAndGoWithTheCashFlow
Your social life is on the verge of spilling into your work life, so it is NOT acceptable to rock up to the office in the previous night’s clothing with only a fabulous pair of sunglasses to hide the evidence of just how much you partied! The walk of shame is so not you sweetie, so be a good little fashionista, and the next time you want to go out and go totally OTT, at least make sure you accessorise with a large bag which is big enough to hold a change of clothing and grooming essentials so you look at least halfway human and professional when you roll into work the next day! #AlwaysBePrepared
For the love of fashion...STOP letting people cross your boundaries. Just because you are accepting of the odd bit of let’s say ‘constructive criticism’, it doesn’t give those people the right to go tonto on all of your outfits, dissecting them bit by bit with a ‘what you did wrong here’ scenario in full swing, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. You don’t need that kind of ‘banter’ in your life sweetie, so maybe it’s time to remove the negativity from your life and banish these so-called friends to social Siberia until they learn to play nice. #IfYouHaventGotANythingNiceToSayThenDontSayAnythingAtAll
Be selective with the company you keep. You only want to be surrounded by like-minded fashion addicts, that is, the positive posse and NOT the negative Nellies, who find fashion such a bore and a chore. They have the ability to suck the fun out of every topic discussed and every social event they attend. It’s draining sweetie and you don’t need that kind of fashion bias in your life. You want and need people who are willing to embrace the mad, bad and totally fun fashion choices available to you. Not the cynical ones who like to sneer down their noses at anything other than classic pieces and neutral tones! #BanishTheBeigeBrigade
Do you have to obey the chain of command when it comes to fashion? We fashion gods say a very emphatic NO! Just because designers tell us what (they think) we should be wearing, which eventually filters down to the High Street, it does NOT mean we should all rush out, mindlessly buying it without putting in any thought and logic. By that we mean, say a 6 ft size zero, straight up and down model is wearing an outfit you really, really covet, just ask yourself honestly: “would this look good on your 5 ft size 12-14, curvy body?” And once you’ve stopped screaming, crying, and gnashing your teeth over how unfair life is, just go buy something which makes you look and feel wow - whether it’s been worn by a supermodel or not! #PlayToYourStrengths
Bring on the debate fashionistas. There’s no fashion subject on earth that you will not have an opinion on; nor are you afraid to give it, whether people want to hear it or not! We fashion gods strongly advise caution, as pi$$ing people off is NOT the way to go if you want to be revered as a fashion queen. Not everyone will agree with your status on items that divide opinion so strongly. E.g. The Crocs conundrum could possibly become the ‘new Brexit’, if recent chats with pals are anything to go by... So yes. Even if you do need to pick a side, you don’t need to bloody broadcast what side you are on, and constantly argue why you think yours is the right side! #NobodyLikesAKnowItAll
Some self control would come in handy right now, because sweetie, you are out of control when it comes to shopping the sales. Really gal pal, where on earth are you storing all of this clothing contraband? And more importantly how on earth are you financing it? Are you flirting a little too much with Messrs Visa and Mastercard? We all know that once you start down this slippery little path, soon it becomes your ‘go to’ destination for all fashion purchases, and before you know it, you are no longer treading water but drowning in a sea of Buy Now, Pay Later debt! It’s time to go cold turkey and cut them all off completely at the source...unsubscribe!!! #DoesSwimmingInDebtCountAsCardio?