August 2021

Emily Nicole Roberts

I’m from Swansea in South Wales, and I’m 23 years old. I think it’s important to note here - though you’ve probably already noticed from my photo - that I use a wheelchair in my everyday life.

emily nicole roberts

My friends and family will read that and sigh “yeah, we know”...

This is because I have a condition called Cerebral Palsy (CP). Embarrassingly enough, I had to learn more about CP, because a stranger once asked more questions about it that I couldn’t actually answer... *bit awks like*.

Point being, yes, I am disabled; but growing up, I was just a little girl, who sat in a little wheelchair. To my parents, I was simply Emily Nicole, their daughter/diva hahaha!!

I remember my mum saying to me in my teens that “the world didn’t revolve around me”. And I was genuinely shocked and appalled!

My life has been plenty of things, but boring isn’t one of them…

I am loud, gobby, unapologetic, and POSITIVE and I’ll be sharing random thoughts, with my unique sense of humour and potty mouth on all magazine-related topics, every month. Reading is believing!


“Am I a superstitious person?”

I ask myself while I’m making sure that my font size is an even number and defo NOT size 13!

This morning I woke up and justified my lie-in, ‘OHHHH! I can’t get up at 8:22am and I’ve missed my 8:20 alarm, so, It’ll have to be 8:25 or 8:30. “What a shame!!!” I say, before rolling over, still laughing.

I am a sucker for patterns and routine, even though I’m always complaining that life is one never-ending cycle of boringly similar experiences.

Work that one out then!!

Admittedly, I have dabbled in atypical beliefs and the fatalistic ideology around lots of things in my life. So far, strangely, they all have ONE common denominator..... Meaning, symbolism, time, date, place?

No....Being convenient A.K.A. making my thoughts seem less nuts and making me happy.

I’m glancing at the clock and it’s 1:11pm. “Ooooooh, look at those repeating angel numbers!! Something good is on its way” I murmur, as I have done, for the last four months.


It’s almost as bad as those posts on Instagram that encourage you to like them to receive physical and psychological fortune. ‘Like this for good news and blessings this week’. No, of course I don’t like them!

I screenshot them and send them to the group chat....

It must be a SIGN!!!

Trust me right, after seeing one last week, I DID find a penny on the floor of a shop THAT SAME Sunday!!! (Let’s just ignore the fact I proceeded to spend 19,000 more at the tills)
‘That’s that post I liked on Instagram that is!! Would you look at that?!’.

I’m there thinking it’s wEiRD and quirky, when REEEALLY finding a penny at the tills is like finding a trolley in Tesco’s car park.

The cashier was OBVIOUSLY confused and uninterested as I soon realised... “Oh no... You sound like an absolute loon Emily”.

STILL!! God forbid that I DON’T notice the repeating numbers and practice my manifestations, I remember the chain messages sent around in Year 7 which I ignored. They haunt me at night.


‘If you don’t tag three friends or share this post....’

Where am I now then eh? Smiling at a penny? Says a lot doesn’t it?!

That’s my bad karma.

Did I mention, I am a complete and utter romantic in every way.

Often to my own detriment (which is no surprise to anyone that knows me!!) Instead of rose tinted glasses, mine are blackout.

I fall in love with strangers on a daily basis and I’m the type of person to watch ‘Psycho’ and pity Norman Bates. Running away with myself (not literally) - wondering how he was failed; what went wrong for him; and how I could help?! Meanwhile, he would’ve killed me twice over, laughing his head off. He must be a Gemini.

“It’s not his fault. It must’ve just been my time. Hope you’re okay OMG?!” I say with my final breath.

It’s pretty simple. I’m ‘selectively superstitious’. If something good happens, the universe is OF COURSE, rewarding me and cementing that I am on the path to greatness.
If something bad happens?

I ignore it or assume that it’s part of a deeper symbol of happiness and magical destiny,
simply, disguised as a crappy croissant.

Either that, or the only other possible conclusion is ObViOuS!!!

Alanis Morrissette needs more verses to sing about in ‘Ironic’ and MY life *IS* artistic material.

I mean, if it wasn’t an absolute tune I’d be bothered, but it’s a banger!!

See you next month,

Emily Nicole xxx

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