Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Unleash your inner wild side this Hallowe’en. Even though there is nowhere to go, you can still dress up and party at home. Hell, who doesn’t like to watch horror movies dressed as a zombie or vampire?! Get your ‘teeth’ stuck in and create a bloodfest look that will shock and scare the living daylights out of anyone brave enough to FaceTime you. This should provide you with enough laughter and giggles duckie to see you through the following weeks. In fact we would go one further and host a virtual party with eerie music, mood lighting and lots of blood red wine (obviously), to encapsulate that spooky atmosphere. #SmokeMachineOptional
You’ve drawn the line. You will NOT be partaking in any Zoom quizzes, discussions or parties anytime soon. You’ve done it once and you will most definitely NOT be doing it again. You refuse point blank to be taken back to that grim time when life revolved around a computer screen. If needs must, you will become a hermit, content with your own company, and a never ending supply of Shiraz! You can be merry and do what makes YOU happy...online shopping, playing dress up and strutting your stuff on the patio, dancing like nobody's watching...because sweetie...guess what?! Nobody is!
A team effort is needed for wardrobe evaluation going into the autumn, and with technology at your disposal, you can now put on a fashion show from the comfort of your front room, broadcasting live to your nearest and dearest. Just make sure you have some honest people in the mix...you know what we mean? The ones who will actually tell you if your bum does look big in those skin tight PVC trousers; or if you’re mutton dressed as lamb when you decide to try out a teeny tiny body con dress and put it through its paces! What you don’t need are the dishonest ones, or those who don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’d rather the truth from friends than people taking the p*ss behind your back! #HonestyIsTheOnlyPolicy
Take a leap of faith...delve into the depths of your wardrobe and excavate some rare treasures from years gone by. Resurrect that vintage jacket and restore some good old fashioned glamour to your outfits darling. Nobody quite does trendsetting like you, and you can bet your prized, scarlet-soled Louboutins that the sheep will follow in your fabulous fashionista footsteps, with outfits from yesteryear sprouting up all over the place! This will no doubt trigger applause from all your fashion minions - so bask in that applause sweetie, and toast yourself with a large glass of whatever the hell you fancy! #SetYourOwnTrends
Off the cuff comments could potentially land you in hot water if you don't phrase them correctly or use the right tone...so tread carefully. Engage the brain first, and please don’t put your delightful new Jimmy Choos into your overly opinionated mouth! This is of no help to anyone, and could end with you being sent to social Siberia until you learn to reign it in. You need to learn the art of being subtle and the gift of knowing your audience. If you sense or know for a fact that people can be easily offended, then for the love of fashion and the sake of keeping the peace - keep schtum and zip it! #Danger_MouthOperatesFasterThanBrain
You’re feeling very creative, so channel that creativity into devising the most outrageously frightening Hallowe’en costume EVER! You love this time of year and you especially love this festivity, looking forward to it with all the excitement of a small child; and even though you have absolutely NO idea how this year is going to play out in terms of partying - you MUST have that outfit at the ready to scare everyone who comes into contact with you, whether via screen or in the ‘frightened’ flesh. So knuckle down duckie, do your research, source the materials and start working your magic. #DareToScare
NOBODY is going to dim your light! AND for that matter, to all those boring people who think Hallowe’en and dressing up is childish - well, to them we say, “go bury your head in a cauldron full of magic spells, and hopefully you’ll find some happiness and joy at the bottom of it!” Dressing up is fun, creative, (re)discover your inner fashion/makeup designer/artist skills, and it’s a well-needed break from our current reality. A little bit of scary make-believe is good for the soul, and who doesn’t love to play around with SFX makeup? The possibilities are endless! #SackTheFunPolice
You are not taking care of yourself sweetie. In fact, you look so rough that a Hallowe’en mask/costume is not required. Just the mere sight of you will shock and scare the most hardened of folk. You look like the walking dead! You have big, black baggies under the eyes, bad ‘maskne’ (face mask breakout), cracked lips, sallow, greasy skin and a vacant stare, all perched precariously beneath a scarecrow mop of hair. This neglectful behaviour needs to stop NOW! A pamper day is required immediately before people start talking about you. So without further ado, shower, put on a lovely set of PJs and start repairing the awful damage you’ve inflicted upon yourself. #GetBackToTheLandOfTheLiving
Flamboyant is an excellent word to describe how you are feeling lately. Blending in and being part of the crowd? Screw that! You were born to stand out darling and that’s precisely what you are going to do. Your wardrobe is at the ready and you are soooo feeling that autumn vibe, combining the most colourful clothing (think autumnal reds, browns, yellows), with knitted hats and gorgeous golden accessories that just scream this season’s hues! You are a true calendar gal with an outfit and wardrobe for EVERY occasion and EVERY season. Toast your success with chestnuts over an open fire and a VERY large, hot, pumpkin-buttered rum. #NeverGlumWithRum
You’ve had your fair share of fashion ups and downs...some memorable killer outfits that have received plaudits from admirers near and far, elevating you to your fashion ‘Hall of Fame’ ...and some memorable, but for ALL the wrong reasons; disasters which are best left forgotten and relegated to the ‘let's pretend it never happened’ box. Lock it up, throw away the key and we’ll never speak about it again! It’s all a learning curve sweetie, however, you need to learn hard and fast what does and doesn’t suit you...we much prefer the yays to the nays! And who doesn’t love adulation! #ApplauseApplause
Autumn is well and truly in the building people and with it comes rain, hail, wind, sun - EVERY element, designed to test your wardrobe and spirit in equal measures. Time-consuming and impossible-to-answer questions rear their ugly heads: Do I take a brolly? Do I wrap up warm? What if I get too hot under all this knitwear? Is it a jacket or coat-wearing kind of day? Should I wear a hat and scarf? Do I bother going out at all? It all seems like brain work that’s too hard to comprehend. Want our advice? Stay in sweetie! Make sure that that Netflix/Prime/Britbox/Disney subscription is up to date and most importantly, that the home bar is well stocked! #GetYourPrioritiesRight
Don’t take it too far with wrapping up warm, especially indoors, or you could end up a hot, sweaty mess that quite frankly NOBODY wants to cuddle up with, and it’s so good to cuddle!!! It makes us feel loved and adored. If you do find yourself lounging on the sofa in a divine pair of silk PJs looking fabulous (such a glamorous downtime look in our humble opinion!), feeling more than a little shivery, but refusing to spoil your ‘look’ by covering up, then use anybody in close proximity as a hot water bottle and snuggle in until you reach the desired temperature. #DontCompromiseTheFashion