Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
It’s a great month to connect, and no we are not talking about connecting via WiFi! We’re totally over Zoom parties/quizzes/concerts/gigs. What we are talking about is connecting with your wardrobe - the most important place in the house, where all your treasures lay waiting to be worn and paraded around anytime, anywhere, making you feel on top of the world; and even though there isn’t anywhere to actually go at this present time, fear not sweetie, you can and you shall be the Belle of the ball, even in your own home. Just dress to impress yourself. Have fun, try new looks and then toast your success with a large glass of fizz. #chinchin
It’s Groundhog day all over!!! In lockdown, out of lockdown, able to go out, have to stay in, living in your loungewear, finally getting to dress up in proper clothes, eating out with friends, searching the depths of the cupboards, looking for something remotely interesting to eat. Online shopping, actually getting to shop in stores. The list goes on and on….it’s endless!!! Our advice duckie, is to always have a fully stocked cupboard (just in case of nuclear war or another bloody lockdown); and a handy monthly wine subscription - there are soooo many deals to be had! Armed together with an iPad for shopping and entertainment - there’s absolutely nothing you can’t get or achieve. #SlowlySlowlyCatchyMonkey
This WFH (working from home) was great at first. No commute, no getting dressed, no early morning elaborate hair & makeup ritual, no set hours, the ability to watch a little daytime TV, a cheeky glass of wine in the afternoon; but now realisation has set in, and with it a great sadness and frustration has descended as you no longer get to prance around the office/work environment, posing and preening in your latest new outfit. There are no admirers of your clever smokey eye makeup, or your elegant up-do, no gossipy lunches or afterwork cocktails. Just hang in there duckie, opportunities to show off WILL return. #NormalPosingToResumeShortly
Ignore the gossip mongers and those wielding bitchy comments; and whatever you do, please do NOT rise to the bait. They are waiting for you to lose your cool and erupt in spectacular style that is not very befitting of a lady. A screaming banshee is not an attractive look, duckie; all that screaming and facial contortions just ruins your makeup, not to mention all the extra little creases and wrinkles you are needlessly causing. You need to be cool, calm and collected, dressed in your best with perfect hair and makeup, and ONLY then are you ready to face these idiots - just smile and walk away. #ClassyGrownUpResponse
You are well and truly suffering from buyer’s remorse. Admit it duckie, you were drawn in by all the sales and special offer emails that filled up your inbox on a daily basis and unlike most rational people, you didn’t filter out the crap and went on one hell of a mad shopping spree. The result is you now have a ton of clothing and accessories vacationing on your bedroom floor, aka ‘floordrobe’, and you don’t have the wardrobe capacity nor anything in your social calendar for the foreseeable future to wear it all - which means, you’re either going to have to send it all back, or start wearing LBDs and sparkly clothing around the house.
Take advantage of the quiet time coming. With no outside distractions you have the time to re-evaluate your wardrobe and have that long overdue clear out. It’s a time for you to be brutal and also a time to earn a little cash by recycling all those unworn and unwanted items. Be brave sweetie and most importantly - be honest! If you haven’t worn something in over a decade, chances are you ain’t ever going to wear it. AND you have to face facts that if it’s 2-3 sizes too small, (you impulse bought with the promise of losing weight to get in it!), then can you really see yourself achieving the weight needed with determination, healthy eating and exercise or the drastic liposuction alternative? #StopLivingInFantasyLand
It’s time to recharge and rest your superpower. You are a fashion chameleon and lord knows, you’ve pulled out all the stops lately, wowing your critics and admirers alike by your outfit pulling skills, along with your ability to accessorise, unlike most mere mortals who can get a little lost and thrown off course by clashing and adding too much like an overdressed Christmas tree. Unlike you, who nails it every time, without fail. However, be warned, your creativity is totally exhausted and needs a little vacation to recover; and then duckie, you’ll be back in business, saving fashion victims and the try-too-hards once more. #InvestInRest
You have a bit of a rocky romance with your appearance lately. One minute you’re loving your body and whole look while embracing your health and fitness, bouncing around in unforgiving lycra...the next, you’re hidden under an enormous jumper that could house a small family, desperately trying to hide your bloated belly from all the comfort food you have been indulging in. Sweetie...don’t beat yourself up...we all go through these tough times, especially during these cold, dark nights when all you want to do is snuggle on the sofa, watch some good telly whilst devouring chocolate and a cheeky glass of whatever tickles your fancy. What you need to do is find balance - whether that’s a glass of fizz or an apple in each hand, that is entirely up to you! #KarateKidStyle
Your emotions are bubbling over at every turn. One minute you can socialise, the next you can’t, and tipping you right over the edge is the lack of dressing up and getting your glam on. A true fashionista needs no excuse to look and feel fabulous darling, so dust yourself off, go grab yourself a wow factor outfit with killer heels, and put on your happy face...we highly recommend some dramatic red lipstick. Coiffe that hair to perfection - then it’s time to strut around your home like it’s a catwalk and take some selfies for future reference...create your own lookbook and most importantly, remember the only bubbling over shall be from your champagne flute! #FizzWithStyle
You’ve been struggling to get your message across, because not everyone understands your need for perfection each and every day sweetie. Most ‘fuggles’ (non fashionista folk) struggle to get out of their PJs and brush their hair on a daily basis during lockdown, let alone apply makeup, create an elaborate up-do whilst effortlessly coordinating a perfectly accessorised outfit! We think this is one of those times when you reign in your bulldozer approach and keep your mouth schtum! Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but that doesn’t mean people want to hear you banging on about it day in day out! #SilenceIsGolden
We will not negotiate with ‘fashion dictators’! You know the type we’re talking about. The ones that try to convince you that the outfits paraded down the catwalks at high end fashion shows are appropriate to wear on the average high street. Barely-there, semi-transparent pieces of material and ridiculous heels are soooo not shopping- or imbibing-friendly!; and quite frankly duckie, you’re going to look like a numpty popping in for your Lush bath bombs with your bits and pieces precariously visible. Know your body. Know your style. Know your mind. #WeWillNotComply
The latest lockdown could make a big impact on your life if you let it. Remember last time when you went from day to day, just going from one lounge suit to another with only a shower in-between? And how Zoom was your only connection with the outside world, and it became socially-acceptable to start drinking mid-afternoon, whether you were supposed to be working or not? Well duckie, that is not a path you want to venture down again, so we suggest you lock up the alcohol until weekends, plan your weekly wardrobe in advance and stick to it; and it wouldn’t kill you either to embrace your personal grooming with renewed enthusiasm! #DontLetStandardsDrop