Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Bring on the heatwave, PLEASE!!! With so many summer clothes waiting to be debuted, and with so many Brits having a staycation this year, just think of all those lucky people who will get to see your amazing summer wardrobe. We’re talking big floppy straw hats with matching bags, and flowing maxi dresses in vivid colours as you sashay along the promenade with just one goal in mind: sex on the beach!!! And before your mind descends (even further) into the gutter, conjuring up all sorts of rather naughty pictures in your mind, we are of course talking about the delicious cocktail you need to be sipping on the beach front as the sun sets, looking and feeling fabulous darling. Get to it, and make it extra Schnappy! #NaughtyButOhSoNice
You can be your harshest critic and, when dressed to impress, not even a strand of hair is allowed to be out of place! You could say that you are a perfectionist with an eye for detail and you never do things half-heartedly. Your outfits SCREAM impressive and your aim is always to provide the ‘WOW’ factor. HOWEVER, be careful sweetie as this can lead to exhaustion and ultimately banishment to a sartorial Siberia, as your enthusiasm - or as others see it, an obsession totally out of control - renders you a complete bore with only one topic of conversation. A quick heads up duckie...NOBODY wants a self-absorbed, insufferable know it all in their lives. Do YOU?! Dial it down. Can you?! Go on. Give it your best shot. You’ve got this! #KnowYourAudience
You are so sick and tired of decluttering and re-organising your wardrobe. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. You want to wear what's in the damn wardrobe, not re-fold jeans or store items by color and coordinate into sections like in a department store. STOP! STOP NOW! As lockdown lifts, and restrictions ease, step away from the laundry - embrace the summer sun and the great outdoors. Dress like you’re on holiday and accessorize as if your life depends on it. Who doesn’t love far out statement jewellery? We’re thinking chunky flower necklaces, long, dangly earrings and wrists laden with jingly jangly bangles. Just don’t overload your wrists so much that you struggle to lift that gorgeous gin goblet sweetie. Chin, chin...#GetYourPrioritiesRight
You are very much winning the game of life at the moment. Whatever it throws at you, you learn, adapt, and move forward. You’ve conquered the world of Zoom and the art of looking fabulous from the waist up, thanks to a fabulous collection of colourful silk scarves; AND you’ve mastered the art of of concealing a cheeky glass of wine in a rather fabulous water bottle whilst on screen: late afternoon and early evening meetings ONLY; otherwise you run the risk of turning into a bit of a lush, and *that* is so not a good look for your reputation, nor your brain power sweetie. #ThePerksOfWorkingFromHome
Remember when you were a globetrotter? A time when holidays, especially ones to exotic locations, dominated your every thought? When the thrill of planning a holiday wardrobe was almost as exciting as the holiday itself? Well a gal can only hope that - even if only daydreaming is the closest you’ll get - there will come a day in the not too distant future when that dream will once more be a reality. And the best bit? You won’t even have to don a mask, even though a true fashionista like your good self has an array of masks for EVERY occasion, in every conceivable colour and fabric known to man! #DreamingIsBelieving
Think before you speak. Please don’t put your foot in your mouth even if it is dressed in the most gorgeous strappy sandals EVER to strut this earth! You haven’t quite yet mastered the art of constructive criticism, so for the love of fashion, please keep your opinions to yourself. Just because you don’t like someone’s outfit or you think you could curate it better, it doesn’t give you license to go full-on ‘Trinny and Susannah’ on them. Your clumsy insensitive comments could cause the mother of all arguments, so unless they happen to be walking around with their lady bumps or bits accidentally showing, then please, keep schtum! #SilenceIsGolden
Has money been tight lately? It’s not really surprising when you read the statistics of how online shopping sales have soared through the ceiling! What with lockdowns and social-distancing rules, the life and joy has been sucked out of shopping in stores. At least whilst shopping from the comfort of your own home you don’t have to get dressed, put on makeup, nor even brush your hair. AND the great big ‘Brucie bonus’? You don’t have to struggle with overloaded shopping bags - that’s why God created DHL…and an even BIGGER ‘Brucie bonus’? nobody will judge you for that second or third glass of wine you quaff, whilst browsing Ann Summers’ summer sale bonanza! #PrivacyIsPower
You feel like you’re falling apart at the seams. Your once brilliant fashion sense has been seriously eroded due to months of neglect whilst lolling around in lounge suits. Fear not sweetie...your fabulousness will return with a vengeance. It’s just like riding a bike! Once you get back in the saddle, all knowledge will come flooding back, leaving you raring to go and conquer the social scene once more. Brush the cobwebs from that wardrobe door and rediscover lost and buried treasure. Put on your tiara and regain your Queen of Fashion status. Welcome back your majesty. #RediscoverYourMojo
Take some time out for yourself. It’s been a hectic few weeks as the world slowly starts back up. You had become used to a far slower pace of life with casual dressing and cooking all your own meals, and then you were given the opportunity to dress up to go out and about with friends again. Your social calendar was full to bursting and so was your belly, come to think of it. Burning the candle at both ends has proven to be totally exhausting and now it’s time for a little calm and tranquility to restore your equilibrium, along with a welcome return to those comfy lounge suits which won’t cut into your still burgeoning waistline. #TheSimplePleasures
You’re eager to go abroad and soak up some sun, lounging by the pool, cocktail in hand, wearing the most daring swimsuit as you show off the fruits of your lockdown labour! During lockdown, you promised yourself to get the body of your dreams, and, although the sacrifice was worth it, unfortunately none of your friends want to risk going abroad, so you’re stuck in Blighty wondering if you’ll ever be able to show off that taut toned midriff of yours, or whether it will go back into hibernation until next summer. Just think sweetie, you can now enjoy a few more tasty tipples without bursting out of your clothes, safe and secure in the knowledge that you’ve already successfully done the belly busting and you WILL do it again! #DespairDietExerciseRinseRepeat
Work doesn’t have to be boring, and, if it is, then maybe you need to think about looking for something which doesn’t fill you with dread every day. How you look can affect how you feel. If you look like ‘meh’, you will feel like ‘meh’...Therefore, conversely...If you’re looking a million dollars then you’re likely to be feeling a million dollars. You catch our drift duckie? Chin up, shoulders back - it’s time to get your glam (back) on, get suited and booted to look and feel the part; fingers (not eyes) crossed that your enthusiasm will be restored and you’ll be ready, willing and verrry able to take on the world. If all else fails, or your mojo has temporarily taken a hike, then may we suggest working from home, alone, not caring what people think, loving solitude, loving your tracksuit. Loving yourself! #TheDecisionIsYours
It’s time to take those rose-tinted glasses off NOW! The new normal is NOT wonderful, social-distancing IS a pain in one’s increasingly saggy derrière, and masks should be outlawed. HOWEVER, this is our reality and it’s not changing anytime soon so we all have to suck it up. Try putting a positive spin on things sweetie and maybe, just maybe it won’t seem so bad. Oh who are we kidding? Apart from being able to buy lots of snazzy and witty masks to go with various outfits for every different occasion, this whole pandemic thing SUCKS! We long for the halcyon days pre-2020 and we’re not going to stop moaning until life returns to PROPER normal. Just don’t go on about it too much tho - and not just for your own sanity’s sake. Nobody likes a Corona-moaner! #ItsGoodToLetOffSomeSteam