The hottest topic in town: Menopausal Hotties...

Wow! We are hurtling through our hotties’ ABCs faster than you can say “is it hot in here?!”

This month we’re looking at J & K.

Joyful Kindness

Hotties, it’s time for you to be as kind to yourself as you are with others. We know that the world around us and Mummy Nature can feel more than a little ‘testing’ - what with so much uncertainty not only surrounding us, but within us (thanks to the fluctuating hormones!) - and in this time of lockdown, it’s challenging us all on so many different, and unprecedented levels.

Many will already be aware of the #BeKind campaign. Now, more than ever, it’s important to practice kindness, to focus on being joyful and thankful about what we DO have, not what we DON’T have (and I’m not talking about toilet rolls or hand sanitiser either).

We might not be able to control or fix the world around us, however, we CAN make positive and productive steps, by starting with ourselves.

We might not be able to go out. We CAN however, go within.

What are you thankful for? Your family, friends, work, neighbours, community, health? I was going to add handbags, shoe collections, cake etc. but thought that may seem a little shallow, but hey, why the hell not?! If they make you feel joyful and good then knock yourself out!

Kindness is defined as the quality of ‘being friendly, generous, and considerate’.

Affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, and care are other words also associated with kindness.

Being kind often requires courage and strength. We certainly tick many of those boxes, but do we practice self-kindness?

“How can we be kinder to ourselves?” I hear you shout, when we have a whirlwind of emotions, hormones, accompanied by physical and psychological changes to deal with that we can't even comprehend, while trying to come to terms with the ever-expanding changes happening to us and around us.

Super hotties, although it may be the last thing on our mind (not helped by memory loss and brain fog) there are a few tips that we can add to our self-kindness toolkit leading to a more joyful life as a hottie.

Practice makes perfect is the motto of the day; so if at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again.I know we can all be a little trying at times. But, like with any muscle, the more you flex it, the stronger it becomes.

Here are some tips on giving your kindness muscles a damn good work out, without the risk of spraining anything requiring hospital attention!

Let’s start with ‘Knowledge’, our boss babe and queen. Knowledge is power!

• Knowledge develops understanding; forewarned is forearmed as my dear wise grandmother used to say. No one wants to live in the dark - the unknown can be a scary, isolating place.

There is a wealth of knowledge out there as we embark upon a self-educated journey with access to so many menopausal platforms in all shapes and sizes. There are plenty of online articles, TV programs, books, and magazines focused on this hottie topic. Remember to include your friends, family, colleagues, forums in your quest for knowledge too. Ask them questions. Seek their advice. Pass on useful tips. Who knows where you and they can draw information and inspiration from?

Be generous. Menopause is a journey that can also impact our relationships, work, and nearest and dearest, as they may need to adapt while they get to know this new, wonderful but changing hottie version of you. Be kind to them by allowing them the opportunity to support you, grow their knowledge and understanding in joining you through this transitioning part of your life journey.

Communication is key. Talk about it - yes hotties, finally it’s good to talk, really good - a problem shared is a problem halved, right? You may be surprised. Try it. I dare you. Most people on the whole are great listeners, often with sage advice, tips or simply ‘being there’ with a cuppa, a friendly smile, or a shoulder to cry on.

Give someone else the opportunity to flex their kindness muscles.

Time out. I don’t mean the naughty step. Take quality time out just for you. We need time to process; it’s our new essential - do it wherever possible. We are going through the ‘Men on pause’ after all.

Try putting your feet up, take stock, reconnect with yourself. Find a quiet room or safe space to meditate, have a good cry, listen to your fave song, watch a movie or just breathe. Breathing is good; deep, relaxing breathing is even better!!

Take a candlelit bath, dance around the room like no one's watching, take a walk, breathe deeply, listen to an inspirational podcast, watch one of Jo Pope’s yoga vids, whatever makes you feel good or centred has to be a priority.

One of the plus sides of the menopause is that you stop giving a toss about other people’s opinions, as you become more aware of your time, value and self filter. So just do it sister. One life - your life. It’s not selfish, it’s selfless, meaning you decide what works best for you.

Treat yourself as you would others. If you find that you’re in that negative downward spiral of self loathing ask yourself this:

• How would you treat someone you care about in the same situation, what would your advice or actions be?

Hopefully you’d be supportive, kind, help them to find and focus on the positives, or to simply listen with a friendly, non-judgmental ear.

Learn to be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy. Dearest hottie you are so much more than your menopause.

Take a holistic look at your life, be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Remember ‘do unto myself as I would do unto others’ ????

Kindness costs nothing but is a priceless gift to share..

Now then… Where did I put that cake, cuppa and new handbag?! No judgment here!

Love
Julie x