Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Things will happen at lightning speed this month - so be prepared. Just when you thought you were plodding along, ever so nicely through life, this could be upturned within a nano second and everything you once thought was fine and dandy is now one giant clusterf**k! What you NEED to do is keep calm and think things through logically and tackle one problem at a time - this is best done whilst dressed for the occasion. You mean business, so get suited and booted, preferably in a killer heel and your lipstick weapon of choice. ‘Dressed in your best’ shows that you are ready to take on anything and everything, and ready to conquer with more than a touch of panache. What you DON’T need to do is crumble to the ground in a heap, looking and feeling a mess, whilst dressed in your comfies, with last night’s makeup smeared down your face, and bed hair that would give Boris Johnson a run for his money! That is the recipe for disaster sweetie - so best foot forward and don’t let the side down.
Take all your fears and insecurities, and then laugh them in the face. They have no business monopolising your thoughts this month and you must NOT let them invade your brain space for even one iota of a second; because once they’re there, they will linger and fester and leach off you until they erode your confidence bit by bit. At that point, you may feel the need to jump headfirst into a large vat of something alcoholic, until you are fished out by a concerned friend or relative. That’s no way to behave sweetie, seriously. Confidence is key and a kick arse attitude with just one goal in mind - annihilation of any negativity that dares enter your personal space! You are a woman on a mission with a licence to thrill - dressed in your best and wearing heels that would drive any self-respecting shoe-a-holic into a jealous rage.
You’re in the pleasure zone this month - it’s Hallowe’en and a chance for you to dress up and indulge your innermost fantasies that, should you indulge them any other time of year, might be frowned upon! It’s time to get out the face paint, the latex gear, the whips, the chains and those fancy multi-coloured wigs you bought on a whim, and get creative sweetie. Just once a year do you get to strut your stuff, wearing a costume so elaborate and fabulous that, by the time you are fully made up, no-one knows it’s you hiding underneath. It’s oh-so liberating and that rare moment where you can be somebody else for the evening and no one will judge you - well maybe not to your face, but do you care anyway? You’re used to people discussing your outfits; after all, you are a fashionista, and throwing a spectacular outfit together is nothing out of the ordinary. So to sum it up buttercup, it’s time to out-witch or ghoulishly outshine everyone - you have a rep to protect!
It’s an ‘anything goes’ kind of vibe that you will give off this month, so be daring and bold and may we suggest you throw caution to the wind and perhaps behave a little bit bonkers?! Why not? You only live once, so have a little bit of fun and take a walk on the wild side. Who says sequins should only be worn at night and only to a party? We say glittery balls to all that! Embrace your sparkly side and shimmer your way to work. HOWEVER, we do NOT mean adorn yourself in glittery discs from head to toe - now *that* would be overkill sweetie and a tad too much even for the most discerning of fashionistas. May we suggest a sequined scarf or handbag, or maybe a glitzy top if you are feeling particularly confident. Just make sure people don’t introduce you as the new Blackpool illuminations as you enter the room! NOBODY wants to be referred to as over-the-top, slightly tacky and oh so garish - that could kill a girl’s confidence (and reputation) no end.
Let yourself go (in the best possible taste dahhhling)...you’ve been uptight for so long that you feel like a tightly wound clock which could explode at any given moment. Alarm bells are now ringing, so heed the warning and get all goosey loosey before you end up with all the other luvvies, holed up in The Priory to help you deal with the stresses of life. Now this can end up being a very expensive treatment, when quite frankly duckie, a massage at a local spa, a new frock, a night on the town with good friends, with a bucket ton of tequila thrown in for good measure, and Bob’s your uncle! You’ll be feeling tickety boo and ready to join the land of the living again. And that’s just in time for the Hallowe’en festivities and invites winging their way to you. Nothing beats a party with the land of the dead, or semi-dead or just downright terrifying! It really does put life into perspective - things could be worse. Instead of being uptight, you could be a flesh eating zombie with festering limbs!
Your attention this month will be pretty much focused on fashion; not just any fashion tho, frightening fashion of the costume variety. You need to think outside the box and come up with a unique outfit, as you know most of your friends will be dressed as slutty witches, or sexy ghosts, or slutty vampires, or sexy ghouls. You get the picture?! They are not like you, you who likes to fully commit to the cause! They just want to look pretty and sexy and flirt with everyone, whereas you won’t be happy unless you are scaring the living daylights out of everyone! So get your thinking cap on sweetie and start scouring the internet for some fabulously scary ideas. Once your idea is firmly in place, make sure all the necessary props, makeup and costume are sourced and then place them firmly under lock and key until the event. You don’t want to give away any trade secrets and NOBODY is going to steal your thunder - you are the Hallowe’en Queen and let no-one forget it!
Let’s be honest sweetie, you’re not one of those ‘dress up in a costume kind of gals’. Hallowe’en bores you and you think it’s pretty childish. You’d much rather bob for apples in a vat of cider than dress up as a witch. And as for trick and treat...the only thing to float your boat, would be the treat - you want to be presented with a large glass of Malbec at the door and a complimentary plate of cheese to nibble on whilst watching your horror film of choice. Now *that* is how you intend to spend Hallowe’en! And let’s face it duckie, after downing an entire bottle or two, the following morning, as you drag yourself out of bed and peer in the mirror, looking more than a little green around the gills, well it’s safe to say people will ask “isn’t it about time you took off your Halloween mask?!” A little cruel? Perhaps! But unless you curb your naughty ways then this could become a startling reality. Alcohol can be so ageing and remember - the grapes in wine are NOT part of your five-a-day!
You’re all about goals this month. And first up on your hit list is to create the most beautiful, the most creative and the most fabulous jack o’lantern you possibly can. CAUTION!!! Don’t let your obsession spiral out of control. There’s absolutely no need to spend several weeks on an extensive search for the perfect pumpkin - that is a complete waste of time and effort when that time would be better spent looking for unusual designs and some pretty nifty accessories to decorate it with. When you find your ‘perfect for you’ pumpkin, make sure you are wearing the proper attire for carving. May we suggest painter’s overalls with the hood pulled tight? No stray bits of pumpkin will end up in your hair and all that pumpkin juice can be gently squeezed out of the overalls, into a bowl and served up to guests on Hallowe’en. (If it’s good enough for Harry Potter then it’s good enough for your guests - waste not, want not sweetie!). This should go down a treat whilst they sit and admire your beautiful lamp - shining in all its grimacing glory.
Get ready for a fabulous career phase. All that hard work is about to pay off and your life is about to get a whole lot better. With this upturn in good fortune and new elevated position comes great responsibility (to the fashion world). If you are going to be the part, then you’re going to have to look the part; and that just screams NEW WARDROBE and we don’t mean new furniture! We are talking full on, shopping extravaganza in order to secure the most desirable capsule wardrobe EVER. There’s not a moment to lose. So shake a leg, get a wiggle on and hit those shops as if your life depends upon it; unless you’re an online shopper, in which case, get yourself comfy AFTER the necessary supplies have been identified and above all, make sure that iPad is fully charged, locked and loaded, and PayPal One Touch is primed to go! Don’t you just love technology?
Your mood is as unpredictable as the British weather and that is a law unto itself. Quite frankly, to say we are perplexed is to put it mildly. One minute we are basking in beautiful sunny autumnal days, the next we are being swept off our feet, alas not by an eye-catching suitor! And lately there has been so much rain that we are half expecting to grow webbed feet and call it a monsoon season. Don’t even get us started on the arduous task of trying to find some wellies which look halfway decent AND fit for purpose. Really? Who invented those? Were they deliberately trying to make women look like plonkers?! Some designer out there is missing a trick - if they put their minds to it we’re convinced they could come up with a flattering design that would take the world by storm and be an instant overnight success - not to mention the lucrative rewards, fame and adulation that would come with it. The female race would be eternally grateful...trust us. Us fashion gods are throwing down the gauntlet to designers - this is your chance to make a splash and fashion history!
You’re all about achieving goals and that’s not such a bad thing. One thing you feel obliged to fulfil is to nail dressing for the cold weather without looking like you have attached velcro to your body and rolled around in your laundry basket. There is a fine art to wearing layers; and what you don’t want is to add needless padding to your frame - there are more than likely to be quite a few extra inches creeping on over the cooler months, with all the delectable seasonal and Christmas treats winging their way to you; so for now, proceed with caution when it comes to the knitwear. There is absolutely no way should you feel the need to wear a vest, followed by a t-shirt, blouse, tank top, jumper, cardigan, and topped off by a coat. You’re not flying on an economy airline, wearing the contents of your suitcase to keep luggage costs down! For the love of fashion, how on earth will you move wearing all that clobber?! Thin layers, sweetie, THIN. And if it is *that* cold outside, do the sensible thing: stay indoors, ramp up the heating and treat yourself to a well-deserved ‘duvet day’.
You desire to be inspired. You’ve got yourself into a little bit of a rut lately and you feel the need to throw off the negativity and start living a more fun, fulfilled life. Did you know that yoga, meditation and gong baths are entering the mainstream and becoming all the rage now sweetie, so maybe they are a good place to start? Find yourself a local class and go with the flow. Apparently the health benefits are amazing - you feel more calm and an added bonus is that you will be able to bend your body into positions that you (and your partner!) never thought possible. The only downside we see is the possibility you *may* wholeheartedly embrace the ‘grungy hippy like’ fashion palate and possibly become a ‘yoga bore’! At the other end of the yoga spectrum, there’s no need either to feel intimidated by, or the need to compete with, the ‘trendy bendy Wendy’ Insta-yoga bunny types, with their elaborate poses and immaculate appearance. There is a middle way, and a yoga class out there for you. And it’s NEVER too late to start, no matter what your age. Please heed these gentle warnings, and your vibe will attract your tribe! Namaste x