Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
This month is pushing every emotion and button you never knew you had! From toddler-like temper tantrums at not being able to fit into your new summer clothes, to self pity at not being able to inhale the entire contents of the barbecue. Instead you have to cry into an enormous, unappetising bland salad, glumly sipping mineral water, while everyone else is getting tanked up on cocktails. And to add insult to injury, when you step on the weighing scales the numbers don’t bloody move - that’s where the incandescent rage appears, and before you can say “f**k my life!”, you are overcome with despair as Niagra Falls erupt - yet again - from your eyes! Never mind sweetie - chin up as they say - it’s time to put plan B into action and hit the iPad looking for high intensity workouts and industrial strength Spanx undergarments, while you wait for the effects of you healthy eating/living regime to take effect. Stick with it. You’re more than just a number on the scales or a dress label. Mission will soon be accomplished and summer clothes here we come!!!
Brace yourselves Leo, as sh*t is about to get real! After months of training hard and living off nothing but dust, it’s time to try on your holiday wardrobe. This date in your diary has been a constant reminder - staring and glaring you in the face, daring and mocking you to fall off the wagon; YET giving you the determination to remain strong and focused, so when it comes to slipping on those bikinis and slinky sarongs, you are going to feel one hell of a sense of accomplishment as you admire your shapely form from all angles. Now all you need to do is keep your head down and in the training zone until that plane lifts off the tarmac - and then sweetie it’s time to kick back and enjoy all those cocktails and little treats while looking absolutely fabulous poolside. You can get back on the wagon when you get back home to reality, when normal life and the healthy living resumes once again!
Hang in there just another couple of weeks and finally the day you have been waiting for will come. YES!!! The summer sales start and while you’ve been playing Russian roulette with your summer holiday wardrobe, trying to hold your shopping/spending ‘nerve’ - you know it will be well worth the wait. It happens every year. You see everyone paying full price for their sarongs, bikinis and flip flops, secure in the knowledge that if only they had held their nerve, and sat it out for a few weeks (or months even), then they wouldn’t have prematurely spent their surplus cash. They now face the prospect of having to budget (don’t you just hate that sensible word?!) their much reduced funds and the dreadful prospect of rationing drinkies and other treats on their hols... Perish the thought! Anyhow, that’s not your problem, so enjoy the shopping and the sweet fruits of your hard labour sweetie.
Are you ready for a fresh start Libra? We think you are. It’s time to throw out the old you and all the baggage which has come with it, and embrace the new you. And that means one vital thing - SHOPPING!!! Who doesn’t love a little (or a lot in our case!) bit of retail therapy? It’s our happy place and it can be yours too. Throw caution to the wind, be brave, be daring and re-create the best possible version of you. There’s quite a list of things you can do to achieve this goal. Starting with a new look and wardrobe. Throw in a splash of colour - you want to stand out, not fade away next to the other wallflowers - that’s so not a good look for you sweetie. When you are suitably attired, may we suggest a trip to the hair and beauty salon? Freshen up that hair colour, add a few highlights, inject some bounce back in it and into your step too! Remember to tend to your nails and tootsies - being well groomed needs to be as natural as breathing; and people do notice the details darling - we certainly do - not that we judge...wink, wink!
Life should feel more like play than work this month Scorpio. The sun is shining at last and that means you can frolic in some fabulous summer maxi dresses - don’t you just love a maxi? so versatile, glamorous, footloose and fancy free. Ahhh! the summer sun does bring out the carefree side in us all, putting a spring in our step, as nothing makes us want to jump out of bed in the morning more than the summer sun streaming through the curtains and the promise of a gloriously warm, sun-kissed hedonistic day ahead. Make the most of it Scorpio, as we well know that the great British ‘summer’ is so unpredictable - so our advice would be - don’t bulk buy the Pimms! Buy as you go - it’s only really suited to the summertime sweetie, adorned with mint and strawbs - it goes down less well in the winter months - unless you’re a raging old soak, who’d suck the alcohol out of a wet wipe given half a chance!!! Not that we’re suggesting any of you has a problem darlings!!!
Take it easy on yourself! When you set yourself goals in life, not all of them will be achievable the first time around; so have a little patience and be kind to yourself. After all, were you being realistic when you set yourself a target to lose two stone in two months? And then, when you couldn’t fit into your ‘cheeky’ summer hot pants two sizes too small, bought in the faint hope of unrealistically shrinking into, you collapsed in an exasperated heap, declaring yourself a failure and vowing to try extreme measures next time! Now listen here sweetie - break your goals down into bite size pieces which are more achieveable and a little more heartening along the way; then you won’t have to live like a deprived, idiotic celebrity on their latest fad diet/shake/juice mission to achieve results! Fall down nine times, get up 10!
Your social life is back! All hail the Fashionista!!! Oh yes sweetie, it’s time to get that summer wardrobe out in the open and declare your fashion supremo status to your ‘minions’. You’ve been waiting for what feels like FOREVER to don those amazing summer outfits you’ve had stashed in your wardrobe for the last few months, patiently waiting to be debuted on your very own runway; AND we can confidently tell you, no-one will be disappointed! After months and months, squirreling away your prized possessions in anticipation of launching them on your adoring fans, this operation has been nothing short of exhausting what with all the secrecy involved; Uncle Bryn’s surprise barn dance for Gwen (BBC’s Gavin & Stacey), had nothing on you!!! Anyway darling, it’s time to strut your stuff, hold your head high and hand aloft, clutching a glass of fizz to toast your sartorial success!
Now that the sun has finally put in an appearance, you are starting to find your summer groove baby. Out of the wardrobe come those delicious crystal-encrusted straw hats you have coveted for so long - you had nearly lost the will to live and dare hope of ever wearing them any time soon, other than a summer trip abroad. Thankfully the weather is playing ball at the moment, so we strongly suggest you get some serious wear out of those hats - otherwise the most anyone will see of them is the numerous holiday selfies you have shamelessly plastered all over your social media! Seriously sweetie - nobody needs to see that many, no matter how wonderful and sparkly those hats are. And for that matter, here is a polite notice to all those serial (holiday selfie) offenders; if we wanted to see that many photos and videos of your holiday, quite frankly we would have tagged along on your trip. Just a few photos will more than suffice!!! Less is more...
You’ll be thrilled with the amount of energy you have this month. And all the better to keep up with your hectic social diary which is crammed full of garden parties and the dreaded summer weddings. Oh how we all shudder when these oh-so-delightful (NOT) little invites drop through the letterbox or inbox. Usually full of BS rules to follow lest you be cast away to social Siberia for the foreseeable future. We so detest when a colour-specific dress code is enforced. Note to bridezilla (alternatively please insert your own ‘flattering’ description of them here!) - not everyone can carry off certain colours sweetie; and there is NO WAY ON EARTH would we turn up to a wedding looking like an overstuffed prawn vol au vent to adhere to your peachy pink colour ruling!!! Ok, with that bugbear off our chest let’s focus on being more practical and what to do if you happen to receive one of these dastardly dictatorial invites - you can either be brazen and turn up in whatever you want and await forcible ejection from the venue, resulting in being the talk of the town for the foreseeable about how selfish you are, OR, do what we always do - swan off to a fabulous party weekend and be as outrageously dressed as you want!!!
This month is all about living your best life. You want to feel as good on the inside as well as the outside. Thankfully, when the sun is out and you’re feeling hot, hot, hot, then food - especially the stodgy stuff - doesn’t really feature much on your agenda, and for once you are more than happy to munch on the food of rabbits - salad! Now this is good for two reasons. First up, is the amount of calories consumed, which is greatly reduced; and secondly this veggie/foliage-rich food tends not to bloat your belly, which is an amazing bonus, especially as during the summer months you tend to wear less clothing with minimal coverage, which would potentially draw attention to aforementioned belly. Yep!! We’re talking swimsuits, bikinis and crop tops - the whole shebang, and we all know sweetie that these skimpy little pieces can either leave us feeling on top of the world or like we want the ground to swallow us up whole! Our advice is to invest - and waft about - in a selection of beautiful and glamorous cover-ups in bright colours - sarongs, kaftans and maxi dresses are particular faves AND a trusty, versatile standby - oooh and don’t forget some sparkle!
Your personality is positively sparkling sweetie - it’s like pixie dust sprinkled over everything and everyone and your enthusiasm is rubbing off on all you come into contact with. A bit like a viral outbreak, but on a far more socially acceptable level and something you actually want to catch! So to enhance your sparkling personality, there’s only one thing for it - a sparkly outfit - obvs! And to be frank you can’t swing a cat these days without hitting a sequin- or jewel-encrusted item of shoes, clothing or accessories! It’s time to embrace your inner diva and sparkle like a queen - just don’t go too over the top darling or you might end up looking like one of RuPaul’s Drag Race contestants - and they’re some mighty big shoes to fill and a LOT of fabulousness to pull off! Are you up to the task? Or will you just end up looking like a masquerading ‘wannabe’?
Well Gemini, this month you are positively bursting with good vibes, and it’s bloody contagious! Who doesn’t love a good giggle? All natural and not alcohol-induced? We think that big yellow ball in the sky might have something to do with it and we can’t help but notice that it does put a spring in your step, giving you oodles of energy and that get up and go attitude, which is pretty apt as this is month the summer sales start in earnest - in store and online - quite frankly sweetie you’ll need that extra energy to navigate both successfully. But as the twins of the zodiac, this shouldn’t unduly tax you, other than in the bank balance! It will make a welcome change, being revived and revitalised by copious amounts of sunny vitamin D versus your usual stimulants of a gazillion espresso shots coursing through your veins, to get you through yet another arduous task! However, like the pro that you are, everything will need meticulous planning, including sitting in the sun for a few hours to recharge those batteries. Rather like solar panels!!! Just remember the SPF 50 sun lotion, or you’ll be adding wrinkle cream to your weekly shopping basket faster than the sun disappears from the British skies!!!