Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
You’re in your element this month as the sun is mostly shining but with the odd thunderstorm thrown in for good measure to keep you on your toes. It’s mixing up your wardrobe options a treat! Not only do you get to wear your summer clothes and espadrilles, you also get the chance to wear lightweight jackets, summer boots and even your new designer brolly gets an airing! You’re loving the weather and life at the moment, so embrace the balmy British weather as we all know that it’s going to come to an abrupt end, and soon enough we will be back to wearing enormous comfy woollens, and winter coats. And let’s not even mention that fabulous collection of sunglasses which will be rendered useless until next spring (sob!), unless you’re fortunate enough to be jetting off to sunnier climes during those cold, grey, dark winter months. Well a girl can wish…
You need to adopt a diplomatic approach to this month’s party/social calendar dilemma. You have a real problem when someone imposes a super strict dress code on you and your natural instinct is to rebel, or tell them they can shove their party and dress code where the sun don’t shine. While we would normally encourage, nay urge you to politely tell them to f**k off - this month we suggest you change tack and give them what they want. In fact give them so much of what they want, that not only do you outshine them, you totally eclipse them and obliterate them into another orbit! Remember that iconic line from Dirty Dancing? ”Nobody puts Baby in a corner”. Well more fool them trying to clip your wings and stifle your amazing fashion sense. ‘They say ‘no white allowed’ - then you give them all the shades of the rainbow sweetie. And then some!
Slip on those noise cancelling headphones to block out the sound of all the BS that’s been going on around you lately. You understand how everyone is excited about their upcoming holiday - but do you really need a daily fashion show on what they are going to be wearing every minute of every day?! This is not you being childish or sulky because they are going away; you too have your own rendezvous with a holiday island very, very soon, However, you don’t need the approval on your holiday wardrobe from all your friends! In fact, you would rather keep it a surprise and astound them with your fashionista skills when they either see you in the flesh, for those lucky enough to be sharing their holiday with you! or, if you’re a sad social media addict, admire your outfits from afar, courtesy of the copious photos uploaded to your Instagram and Facebook accounts!
Are you looking at life the wrong way? Are you only seeing the negative in things, instead of looking for the positive? It’s time to stop sweetie. You are in danger of becoming an insufferable bore and whereas people would once flock to you, now they run from you and in the direction of the nearest bar, in hot pursuit of a stiff drink just incase they have to deal with you again. You need to lighten up, stop taking life so seriously and have a little fun. Fill your diary with some fun events and interesting people. Go shopping and try on clothes you would never think of trying in a million years. Experiment with makeup, maybe a new hairstyle - nothing too radical tho’ where you’ll need to invest in hair extensions to face the world again! To sum up - reinvent yourself before it’s too late and you end up a ‘Billy no mates’, because all your friends would rather eat their own kidney with a blunt spoon rather than spend any more time with you!
Consider all your wardrobe options this month as the weather is ever-changing. Wet and windy, to roasting hot, with giant hailstones, often all in one day, thrown in for good measure! Typical British summer weather! So with this weather forecast in mind - all options are on the table. Don’t discard your outerwear - you never know when that lightweight jacket or rain mack will come in handy. And ALWAYS make sure you have a fabulous, outrageously colourful umbrella to hand - those skies may open at ANY time and dump a month’s worth of rain on you. On your head be it if you’re left looking like a drowned rat, with straggly hair plastered to your face, makeup running down your cheeks in little rivlets; and the biggest fashion faux pas - even with a bra on, you’ll look like you’re ‘smuggling raisins’ in your (now) see-through top! Oh the shame! So let this be a lesson to you!
You feel totally fearless this month and are willing to try your hand at anything that life or anyone throws at you. They want you to try a new exotic dish - bring it on; your tastebuds are primed and ready. They want you to have a complete makeover - not a problem; it’s only makeup and will wash off. Or your hair ends up Barbie pink and an inch all over - it will grow out; obviously under the best wig available! You’ve put weight on and your clothing is tight - a week on salad and situps; that bad boy fat is gone. There’s this amazing new cocktail which could possibly blow your head off it’s so strong - you have a two litre bottle of mineral water and a large box of Alka Seltzer at the ready; following day booked off work just as a precaution! Whatever the problem - you are invincible - go get em girl!
Stewing in silence is so NOT an option for you this month. With a diary crammed full of social engagements this is NOT the month for you to have one or several of your famous temper tantrums, enormous sulks, or monstrous meltdowns that render you totally unsociable for a good 48-72 hours. Whether someone has taken the p*ss out of your outfit (they wouldn’t know couture if if come up and bit them on the arse!), or has been particularly #MeanGirl behind your back (they wouldn’t have the balls to say it to your face!) just rise above it sweetie. Put on your favourite outfit obviously with a killer pair of shoes - put on a bit of slap - throw some fizz down the hatch (Dutch courage purposes only!), head held high, strut your stuff and show them who you are! You are a woman on a mission to have fun and enjoy life and to hell with what anyone else thinks!
Taking care of numero uno isn’t selfish - it’s essential! Sometimes in life you have to help yourself first - like on an aeroplane - fit your own oxygen mask first before you can help others! And don’t forget your Duty Free, it’s an absolute bargain! With this philosophy in mind, this is what we suggest for you this month sweetie. You have been putting others first for so long, you have totally neglected what you want. Set aside a day for YOU! Take yourself, shopping. Go on spoil yourself. That jacket you’ve admired from afar, for far too long - well buy it, wear it, love it! Treat yourself to lunch and make sure you have a decadent dessert, washed down with a very large glass of bubbles. Go see a show at the theatre, or that film you’ve wanted to see at the movies, instead of waiting for the DVD to be released! Do what YOU want to do and make sure you do it regularly - that’s an order!
Your tunnel vision could be interrupted with this month’s VERY, VERY hot weather. Who’d have thought that Great Britain could produce such a scorcher of a summer?! You had major plans for the home and garden this year - but who could do all that work in such heat? AND, who could give up all those al fresco lunches, picnics in the park, barbecues on the beach, long nights sipping cocktails, weekends away, glamping - whoa!!!! Hold on a minute. Now we fashion gods are usually game for many outdoor activities, but let us tell you now - there is NOTHING glamorous about camping!!! It’s positively primal and there’s is no way on earth would you get us in welly boots walking across a field with our iPhone torch in one hand and a roll of toilet paper in the other, searching for a clean toilet, or any toilet for that matter, with no lights, no flushing water and a menagerie of creepy crawlies!
You’re an emotional sponge this month, soaking up every high and low point that happens. In the words of Frozen, you have to learn to ‘let it go’. Don’t dwell on the bad stuff for too long, nor dine out on the good stuff for the next decade sweetie - that will make you an insufferable show off and a complete bore. Follow the wise words of Mr Miyagi (that cult classic 80s film, The Karate Kid), and learn balance. It’s all well and good to be in touch with your feminine side, all lovey dovey and sharing and caring, HOWEVER, you could go the other way and become so emotionally over-the-top that you are only one step away from being marched to the nearest bar by a concerned family/friend for an intervention, hell bent on getting you inebriated so they can give you both barrels (sadly not the beer variety) and tell you what they REALLY think of your behaviour, all the while you are way too tipsy to argue back! Be warned…
The upside to this month’s weather is you’re actually going to get your money’s worth out of your summer wardrobe this year! Hallelujah! Cast your mind back to the beginning of the year when it was cold and wet and Britain had a harsh visit from ‘The Beast From The East’. You were optimistically shopping for summer clothes with the usual hint of apprehension regarding whether or not you would actually get to wear them in the UK this summer and not just on your annual trip to the Greek islands. Fear not sweetie, those Bardot dresses will get an airing more than once or twice this month and we don’t mean outside some Greek taverna as you eat and drink your bodyweight in moussaka and ouzo! Have faith in the weather gods who are working their little fingers to the bone in order to keep those pesky little rain clouds at bay!
#AllHailTheWeatherGods #LongMayTheyReign #GreekChic
Get your glow on sister! The sun is a shining, everyone’s smiling, and out and about, so make sure you are looking your best. The great thing about this weather is that there isn’t much call for a full face of slap unless your job dictates it (cabin crew/makeup counter sales staff - we feel your pain). Just pop on a dab of tinted moisturiser, a little bronzer and highlighter, your favourite lipgloss and away you go. It’s so refreshing to let your skin breathe and let your inner beauty shine. You’re all aglow and natural. Your face doesn’t feel as though it’s going to crack with the industrial layers of foundation you’ve trowelled on; and bonus! you can actually see out of your eyes now that they aren’t surrounded by strips of fake eyelashes. Double bonus - it’s UBER quick to get ready to go out, which ultimately means...yesssss! more time drinking summery cocktails. It’s a win-win situation.