Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
The only person who needs to believe you can achieve more is yourself. And the only person you are in competition with is yourself. The self-improvement experts tell us that self-improvement will present new opportunities, increase your self-esteem to new levels and help become a better version of you. WARNING - they want you to buy their self help books! We tell it as it is sweetie - all you need to be happy is a wardrobe full of the most amazing clothes to fit on your body that is to die for - a social life that makes Carrie Bradshaw look like a nun - become editor of Vogue magazine and have holiday homes all over the world and a hunky man hanging off your arm. No self help book is going to get all that for you but after a bottle or two of prosecco - well that’s another story! A gal can still dream! Self help book vs help yourself to prosecco? Hmmm #NoBrainer
Instead of just having good ideas - you actually need to put them into practice. There’s absolutely no point in visualising and deciding on an image overhaul if you don’t actually follow through. You’ve spent the last few weeks trawling Pinterest for new hairstyle and colour ideas. You’ve visited every cosmetic website known to man in search of the Holy Grail of foundations that will make your skin glow like J Lo. You’ve even planned a whole new capsule wardrobe, complete with shoes, handbags and accessories that are currently sitting in various wish lists! So what are you waiting for? Stop pussy-footing around sweetie and tilt those Libran scales for once! It’s just fashion; and no one died from changing their hair colour or cutting it - unless they visited Sweeney Todd! Be Brave, Be Bold and if all else fails - Google wigs!!!
Do resist jumping to conclusions about new faces at work. Just because they roll up for the first week of work, looking like they just stepped out of a glossy fashion magazine does not mean that they can keep it up like you - a seasoned and dedicated fashionista - full time. As we know sweetie - that takes love, passion, dedication and a routine reminiscent of a top secret military operation! HOWEVER, should they continue to waltz in, a la ‘Olivia Palmero’ then things are really at DEFCON 4 and immediate action is required! Don’t panic - just draw the fashion line (winged eye-liner anyone?!) in the office and let battle commence! Do they really know who they’re dealing with? Fleek vs Geek!
Make a list of your ambitions and instantly one will jump off the page and smack you right in the mouth! This is the one you should concentrate on! It’s time to take things up a level and a detailed plan of action will need to be put in place. To make ‘said’ plan you will need a tranquil environment. We suggest calming music (you know, the kind they play when you have a relaxing massage, but probably not that whale music...) - scented candles or perhaps an aromatherapy diffuser (some come with pretty LED lights) - and a very large bottle of prosecco (it helps with the ‘flow’ of ideas - honestly!) Once you are equipped with the essentials, get to work and make a point by point plan of how you will achieve your ambitions. Think big; dream big; drink big - Sorry we mean responsibly!
Ready for a new romance? Of course you are. You’re always primed and ready to fall head over heels in love with the latest trend to hit the runway and, the highlight in any fashionista’s diary, Fashion Week, is about to be unleashed in New York, London, Milan and Paris, so what more can a girl ask for? Now ladies - this is an important time of year where wardrobes, style and reputation can be make or break - so listen up. Diaries should now be fully optimised with the various shows that are being live streamed and all social media ‘fashion alerts’ need to be switched ON. A fabulous notebook and pen are required to take notes (sparkly jewels spring to mind); AND copious amounts of energy giving supplements which need to be accompanied by your tipple of choice (currently we are having a ‘love in’ with gin!)
The limits you think surround your future style, totally disappear the minute you fully comprehend the fact that there are other types of jeans available other than ‘skinnies’! You are overwhelmed by this life changing discovery and this really makes you ask: “Where the hell have I been living all my life? Under a rock? Or maybe outer space?” Sweetie - come back down to earth please and embrace the wondrous world of denim. Start to imagine a whole new life where words like bootcut, flared, cropped and straight leg are normal occurrences. And don’t get us started on coloured denim! Get excited at the endless fashion opportunities that await you my lovely and welcome to 2017!
You are feeling super-creative at the moment and need to capitalize on this - strike while the iron’s hot, so to speak; and if you are really clever, you could save a substantial amount of money! Now with winter fast approaching, think of all those fabulous accessories you lovingly handpicked and wore with pride last season - you don’t want them to languish in the bottom of the wardrobe because everybody has seen you wear them, do you? It’s time to get handy with a needle and thread/glue gun, even velcro! Hot foot it down to your nearest Hobbycraft and stock up on ribbons, sequins, crystals, trims etc. and give your accessories a serious makeover, ensuring that they are even more fabulous than before. AND, all that extra cash you will have saved can go on nights out drinking cocktails, prosecco, gin, champagne... (you get the drift?!)
The people who matter the most to you start to realise that a quiet life is simply not suited to you! Even though you were at first advised to calm down, take a step back and bow out of the limelight for a while - this has backfired spectacularly! People have now realised that without you to lighten and brighten their dull, boring lives by being the life and soul of all parties, the only fun they have nowadays is winding people up on Facebook or Twitter with inappropriate or oh-so- ‘humorous’ comments! #SocialMediaSaddos #TweetingTw*ts! Sweetie - you should be allowed to sprinkle your fabulous brand of magic over everything and everyone - shine brightly and don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle or dim your light!
Your usual reserve dials down and your courage rises as you throw caution to the wind and make the monumental decision to stop wearing a bra - yes that’s right - you are going to bin or even burn your bra! #BoulderHoldersSmoulder. You have toyed with this idea for a long time, as like most women you find them really uncomfortable and cannot wait to get home from work, undo the clasp and let the girls swing free - ah...heavenly liberation! Sweet relief and ecstasy follows as the offensive, restrictive garment is cast aside until it’s retrieved for work the next morning. BUT NO MORE! AND you recently read that the more bra free you are, the more perky they will be come as the ‘boobie’ muscles get stronger in their attempt to defy gravity. WARNING!!! In theory this sounds fabulous sweetie...but in reality? If you have huge ‘knockers’ unfortunately this is totally out of the question unless you want to be the cause of accidents or possible arrest!!!
You’re ready to shake up a routine, however long it’s been in place. For years you have followed the strict facial regime of cleanse, tone and moisturise - never straying, even though countless products and tools are introduced to you on a daily basis. You’re loyal and you pledged allegiance to this morning and evening ritual many moons ago. Now it’s time to be brave and venture into the big wide world of serums, Clarisonics, masks and exfoliators. Suddenly your eyes are wide open and you are excited as a kid who has been let loose in a candy shop! But beware sweetie - yes all these lotions and potions are fabulous but just like the child who ate too many sweets until they ‘reappeared’ - well too many creams and you could end up with red raw skin and gasp, shock horror - pimples! One step at a time sweetie, one step. And for that matter, one product at a time sweetie, one product.
The key to your happiness this month is change. It’s time for a new you and we’re not just talking new hairstyles and clothes, even though they are of vital importance in helping you shake up your life with a change of image! We’re talking about shaking up your social scene - stepping out of your comfort zone and getting a new hobby (and no we don’t mean a knitting class!). We’re talking zumba, gourmet cooking, soulcycle, hot yoga, naughty novel writing and dare we say it? yes we dare - wine tasting!!! Now this is the hobby to end all hobbies! Let’s get down to the nitty gritty: you’ll get to meet lots of interesting, like-minded people; you get to act all intellectual and pretend you know what you’re talking about; AND, you get to quaff lots and lots of wine. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?!
#WineSnob #PassTheWineBox #ClassyBird
You have developed a flair for writing naughty short stories, which to be quite frank are very racy indeed! As you sit in front of your laptop, tapping away at the keys, pouring your heart and soul (and filthy imagination) into your latest bonkbuster, you get seduced by the fantasy of it all - imagining the book launch and your characters becoming a household name - everybody gripped with the story - begging, gagging even, for a sequel. Then you imagine your life as a famous novelist - attending premieres, meeting celebrities, interviews, photoshoots, glamour, parties, parties and even more parties. Helloooo. Coooey! Yoo hoo...Come in sweetie. Come back down to earth sweetie! Before you press the send button remember - you’re not about to send your latest offering to your publisher - you’re at your REAL job and we doubt you want your sleazoid boss to read your filthy fantasies! No pay rise is ever worth *that* much!