Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Separating ‘how you feel’ from ‘what you do’ are two very different things. You know that on your friend’s wedding day you will smile sweetly at the photographer, pretending to look like you are enjoying yourself, while deep down all you want to do is throttle your friend for the hideous creation you are wearing. You will look calm and serene as you waft down the aisle behind her whilst plotting your revenge. Which will be all the sweeter as she returns the bridal favour(s) next spring for you! Fuschia pink taffeta and tulle springs to mind with a ‘Little Bo Peep’ style bonnet. She’ll be losing sleep not sheep over that fashion fright! Oh the possibilities are endless sweetie - enjoy planning, and plotting - you might be feeling a little fragile and out of your comfort zone in this dreadful attire, but do what any self-respecting fashionista bridesmaid would do - head straight for the bar and drink the prosecco until the dress looks fabulous darling!
A new career might beckon this month as there are big changes underway at work - lots of new departments are being set up and the company is expanding, requiring people to head up lots of new teams and this really excites you. Your mind goes into overdrive as you imagine the endless possibilities of how you can update your work wardrobe! All those executive suits and tailored jackets, not to mention the fabulous dresses, the handbags and the shoes and, and, and... OMG you need to slow down otherwise you’re going to have a coronary - so breathe...Let it all sink in slowly, then start to whip yourself up into a fashion-frenzy again as you imagine the substantial pay rise that comes with the promotion - all that extra cash to spend on what you love most in life - filling your wardrobe! The sky’s not the limit, just your credit card!!
You will notice this month that even the most stubborn people are very keen to please you - and why? Well you’re so fabulous sweetie - you radiate fabulousness and that is very appealing to people who want to bask in your glory. The aura emanating from your body shines bright and will dazzle all who come in contact with you. So the fashion gods advise you to capitalise on this euphoric feeling of being utterly fabulous and if possible you need to try and bottle it and save it for a rainy day when you’re feeling not quite your sparkly self - take out the bottle of fabulousness and shake vigorously all over yourself and restore you and your aura to its former glory!
Making a small compromise is a smart move and is not the same as giving in - honestly! So when your significant other tries to tell you very diplomatically that Tiffany is out of the question and that they were thinking more along the lines of Ernest Jones - please, please, please, DO NOT throw a tantrum of epic proportions and escalate the problem. Be the clever and devious Scorpion that you are, with a nifty ‘pincer movement’ - suggest you combine your birthday and Christmas present together and that way THEY will save time and money and you get what you really, really want and that way everyone’s happy. Breakfast AND lunch at Tiffany’s! So you see - compromise really does work - you can have your cake and eat it - or should we say - you can have your Tiffany and sparkle!
You need to take charge, act spontaneously instead of overthinking every move and just take the plunge by booking that last minute holiday in the sun. After all - have you seen the Great British weather lately? If it rains anymore you’re more than likely to grow fins and that’s so not a good look darling, even if Emma is channelling her inner mermaid this edition! - and believe us when we say that not any old fashionista could pull off that look! SO to sum up - get out the iPad, consult your best friend Mr Google and find some amazing sun-drenched resort complete with beach bar that includes the most wondrous cocktail menu - BOOK IT IMMEDIATELY - and then sit back with a large prosecco and let your imagination run riot at the thought of you, frolicking in the sea without a care in the world. P.S. Don’t forget to take someone to frolic with...
At home, people are ready to listen so remember to discuss what really matters in life - harem pants! OMG! They are so fabulous darling and comfortable - you can wear them day or night - they make you feel exotic and different and oh-so fashion forward...but some people just don’t get them - they think they belong back in the day when MC Hammer was body-popping away and the crotch of his trousers was sweeping the floor like a fully-loaded nappy - they need to see beyond that, wake up to the fact that harem pants are here to stay, and when styled correctly they can make you look so incredibly cool, unique and effortlessly stylish, It’s not Hammer-time, it’s harem pants time! Think Princess Jasmine from Aladdin! AND best of all - they hide a multitude of sins - in fact…they are so ridiculously hot...
It’s tempting to say what someone wants to hear but it’s better to tell it like it is, but tactfully...for example, when your work colleague struts into the office thinking she has pulled off the sexy rock chick look to perfection when actually she looks more Arnold Schwarzenegger about to assassinate someone Terminator style. It’s time to take her to one side and gently point out the enormous men’s biker boots and plastic shades combo are not so feminine or that fashion forward. Make her take an early morning break and get her the hell out of there pronto to modify that disastrous ensemble before she becomes the butt of the “I’ll be back” one liner. But beware...It can’t be bargained with...it can’t be reasoned with...it doesn’t feel pity or remorse...and it absolutely will not stop...EVER, until you are dead!
You feel more upbeat and less pressured than you have in a long time and this is largely down to, drum roll please....PROSECCO! Yes, we know drinking too much is bad for you, blah, blah, blah...BUT, in our - and its - defence, prosecco is deliciously decadent and nothing is more fun than partaking in a glass or two every so often...AND we have it on good authority that it can be good for your heart - it can lift your spirits - it can prevent respiratory problems - it can boost your sex life - it can aid your memory - it can guard against colds and is great news for your skin. In fact we could wax lyrical about the benefits of this fabulous, fizzy drink but we’ll leave the finer research for you to pursue while we toddle off to pop open and pour some more of this sparkly eighth wonder of the modern world!
#NothingProseccoCantFix #IllBeThereInAProsecco #TheGrapeEscape
You seem to be at a point where you want to head in a new direction and you are feeling powerfully drawn towards pork pie hats! Don’t ask why, but it’s like a sci-fi tractor beam is pulling you in and it is futile to resist! This little hat has never featured on your fashion radar before and you are quite perplexed as to why you have a sudden pressing need to perch it on your head. Fear not sweetie - you’re not going mad or having a midlife fashion crisis - it’s just your inner fashionista wanting to burst out in the open to help you explore the wonderful world of fashion with all of its weird and wonderful inhabitants. So get onboard with the programme and remember - it’s fashion not rocket science darling - relax, it’s just fashion.
You feel very energetic, but the real issue for you is how do you express this high energy? Well sweetie it’s time to throw the mother of all parties and don’t worry if you have nothing to celebrate - make something up like ‘national let’s drink prosecco day’ or ‘your favourite handbag’s first birthday! You get the idea?! Just think of any old excuse and plan a party that is so sensational that people will be talking about it for months later. Just beware though - it may be so utterly fantastic that people will be asking you to plan parties for their handbags’ birthdays - or any other dodgy themes they can think of. Be firm, hold strong and tell them convincingly that party planning is not on your CV - it’s just an occasional hobby that you have to be in the right frame of mind to take part in!
You will want to complete a project that was abandoned many moons ago - after all the office Christmas party was over 11 months away when you began ‘project party outfit’ but rest assured NOW is the time to get back on it with a vengeance. ‘Scuse the use of the ‘C’ word, but Christmas is a’coming and it’s time to pull out all the stops in the quest for the most amazingly, fabulous, sexy, showstopping outfit that will render your colleagues speechless - but in a good way. We’re not talking about your ‘bits n bobs’ (boobs and bum) hanging out all over the place. NO sweetie - that is so not a good look! We’re talking showstopping in a classy way, where the memories of that outfit will last another 12 months and your dignity will remain intact!
#OfficePartyLegend #ForAllTheRightReasons #EmbraceTheCWord
You might experience a lot of tension as you attempt to relax at home. So a complete digital detox is required to restore harmony and balance to your chaotic life. We know sweetie you may find that a tad dramatic and quite possibly the end of life as you know it, but trust us when we say that you need to disconnect wi-fi for 48 hours - YES you read that right!!! 48 hours of no internet whatsoever. This needs to be put in place for the weekend, so please follow these instructions carefully. And we promise - it won’t hurt one little bit! Friday night before bedtime disconnect wi-fi. Try not to panic! Now for the rest of the weekend try enjoying your food - go for a walk - read a book - or try actually talking to someone face to face #IRL AND drink lots of prosecco to make time go faster...See you on the other side…Stay strong. You CAN and WILL do this!