There’s no need to lie when you have nothing to hide.

There is absolutely no need to lie when stating true facts or telling people the truth. It is as simple as that but, unfortunately, people lie. Why? You are only kidding yourself by lying to yourself.

People lie about:

• Who they are
• What they do
• Where they live
• What they have
• What they look like

This is particularly widespread on social media. It seems to be a place to show off your life, your possessions, a competition of one-upmanship, where people pretend to live a lifestyle that they aspire to - but why?

What is this silly (IMO) culture of following celebrities and the hero worship of ‘reality stars’? This ridiculous world which is awash with self-proclaimed influencers - aka social climbers and wannabes - whose ‘talent’ seems to entail persuading normal folk that our lives would be so much better if only we had the same car as them, the same watch/handbag/clothes/makeup as them, or if we holiday in the same exotic locations as them.

The big fat whopping lie is that they are paid lots and lots of money to suck you in and sell you these things, in order to keep funding their gifted and paid for lifestyles. It’s all fugazi (fake) and they get far more out of telling and selling the lies than you ever will!

Social media is one big lie - everybody showing off what they perceive to be their best bits, filtered to the max to try giving the impression that they are ‘living their best life’, just for likes and follows. But in reality, they are letting life pass them by. They are so busy creating a fake/virtual/online life that actual real life and its multitude of authentic, heart-warming, life-affirming experiences are passing them by. They are living one big fat lie! How exhausting!!

Everyone feels envy, seeing how the other half live, but there’s no need or any point in fabricating a fake life to try to fit in, to not feel left out or second best. You really don’t have to feel insecure, nor do you even need to try to keep up with the Joneses!

You do you ~ and let them do them!

Another big lie on social media is how we look. We can all feel self-conscious about how we look, and whilst there is nothing wrong with a fun, cheeky filter every now and again, why do so many people feel the need to digitally alter their entire appearance to the point where it no longer resembles them anymore?!

There is even a term for it:

• Catfish noun [definition] (FAKE) informal. ‘Someone who pretends on social media to be someone different, in order to trick or attract other people’

And then they have the audacity to be upset when people are shocked/upset when they realise that they have been duped themselves!

What ever happened to individuality?

• Be proud of who you truly are - embrace your quirks, they make us (extra) unique!
• Who wants to be a clone, looking like everyone else?
• Strive to be different. Why blend in when you were born to stand out?

People lie about what they do for a living, but not everyone can be an airline pilot, a brain surgeon, a lawyer, or a music composer. Yes, they may sound impressive and important, but all jobs are important. We need builders, we need coffee baristas (and legal barristers!), sales assistants, gardeners, hairdressers etc.

Not all jobs are glamorous and some people are snobs when it comes to judging other people’s choice of occupation, looking down on people they perceive to be beneath them, such as cleaners, carers, or those who wait tables. Just because people choose to clean, care or serve does NOT mean that they are anyone’s servants!

Everyone has a role and a purpose in this life - be proud of yours because we all contribute to making the world go round.

Usually, people lie on social media because they are often deeply unhappy with their lives. They (desperately) want others to be impressed by them. They want others to look up to them, and are constantly seeking their (addictive) dopamine ‘hit’ of approval from other people, in the shape of likes/comments etc.

They want a bigger house…a flashier car…luxury watches…designer handbags…exotic holidays. They believe that these material things are the key to making them happy. But money doesn’t always make you happy. Yes it does help to have money, but, as that well known saying goes:

“The love of money is the root of all evil*”

*i.e. All ‘wrongdoing’ can be traced to an excessive attachment to, and pursuit of material wealth, and is often shortened to “Money is the root of all evil.”

Money can change you - for better and/or worse - and those around you. It changes how people see you, how they act around you, and it can lead to people taking advantage of you if you’re not careful, or susceptible to flattery or BS!

If you are unhappy with your life, instead of lying about it, dig deep and try to be grateful for what you do actually have.

Lies create false positivity; instead, surround yourself with good friends and good energy and work for what you want. Don’t expect it to be handed to you on a plate or via a silver spoon. The world owes you nothing, nada, zilch, diddly squat; if you want something, you need to go out and get it!

Actions have consequences - when you lie to cover something up, it will unravel. Even little ‘white lies’ - e.g. something as innocent as buying a pair of shoes, then lying about when and where you bought them, to hide from your partner the fact that you have been spending money neither of you can afford from the joint household account.

Little lies lead to bigger lies!

To be a good liar, you need a good memory in order to remember all the lies you have told.
You will always (eventually) get caught out!

We live in a world where everyone has a phone with a camera attached and there are also surveillance cameras everywhere you go, and you don't realise you are being filmed/photographed when you least expect or want it. ‘Receipts’ come in many shapes and forms!

Honesty is always the best policy. Therefore, when you tell the truth you have nothing to fear and nothing to hide. There’s no comeback, no stress, no having to cover up things or backtrack, no anxiety, no stress and you can take comfort from that. I don’t know about you, but I like to sleep easy at night, not worrying about lies catching up with me and the knock-on effects!

Lying has consequences like disappointing and hurting people when they find out they’ve been lied to. Once you're proven to be a liar, any trust in what you do or say goes completely out of the window.

Who wants to be the lonely liar with their pants on fire?!

Then we have Karma.

Karma always teaches us a lesson and it's important to remember that you get what you give to life. Or to be biblical for a moment, you reap what you sow.

Positivity and being truthful rewards you with good karma, but if you lie, you will get caught out and bad karma will pay you, and those you care about, a visit.

Always be truthful to everyone because the truth will ‘always out’.

A lie takes on a life of its own and it can snowball, it evolves, becoming more elaborate and it's harder to backpedal once the lie is out of the bag. It would be easier to try putting a genie back in the bottle!

There are always life lessons to be learned and the universe is continually teaching us how to behave until we get it right.

I’m bulletproof, so fire away

This affirmation is inspired by the song Titanium, by David Guetta featuring Sia.

It’s all about finding your inner strength and becoming bulletproof.

Bulletproof means ‘resistant to the penetration of bullets’.

Becoming bulletproof is all about being able to resist the penetration of criticism, intimidation, negativity and failure.

The secret to becoming bulletproof lies within your own mindset.

It’s time to get mentally tough.

Focus on yourself. Society tells us to be kind and sensitive to others, and sometimes we worry so much about other people that we forget to look after ourselves.

Just remember when you’ve sat on a plane, with the cabin crew taking the passengers through the safety demonstration; they always say “fit your own oxygen mask first”. Which makes perfect sense, because if you don’t, how can you possibly be in any fit state to help anybody else?!

Who do you want to be?

• I want to be a more positive person, who loves life but understands the need for balance.
• I want good relationships with family and friends - but recent events have made me re-assess things; in times of need I have learned who my real friends are as opposed to ‘fickle friends’. I don’t need thousands of Facebook friends who I don’t see or speak to from one decade to the next. It’s all about quality, not quantity.

Talking about social media, I’ve cut back on how much I use it. And the benefits?

• No more pointless posts. Who needs to know where I am and what I’m doing 24/7?
• No more getting sucked into other people’s dramas and pointless, petty arguments.
• No more click baiting negative stories designed to divide people and stir up hate.

Stop fighting over trivial crap because you/we are missing the really important stuff!

Becoming bulletproof:

• Banish ‘fickle friends’ - they take up far too much negative time and energy.
• Stop trying to change yourself in order to fit in or be liked - everyone has their opinions and beliefs. You don’t have to change them or yourself to become worthy or popular.
• True friends will love and accept you for who you are.
• Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up, not put you down.
• Believe in yourself - have conviction in your beliefs and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Learn from your mistakes and focus on things you can change or improve rather than procrastinate over the negative stuff that is out of your control.

Be the best version of you

• Look good, feel good.
• Get plenty of exercise. You don’t have to become a slave to the gym. A brisk walk is just as beneficial, and gets you out amongst Mother Nature with her natural healing and feel good factor.
• Eat a balanced diet - lots of healthy food and drink, plus the odd treat - a little of what you fancy does you good!
• Yoga is great for the body, mind and soul - strong body, strong mind, strong life.
• Try guided meditation - the magazine has a whole host of them to suit whatever moods/emotions you're experiencing/feeling, with hypnotherapist Joolz Raven Stewart. They really help with a positive mindset.

What do I want to achieve?

I want to STOP wasting time and energy on people who don’t matter.

I want to STOP giving a f*ck about what others think of me!

I know who I am and what I’m about.

I know the truth about me and that’s all that matters.

I have no power over what other people think or say about me, therefore it’s a waste of my time and energy trying to influence that.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
words will never harm me!”

We know words can hurt but they are just words. No more, no less.

I want to STOP taking life too seriously.

I don’t want to get all bent out of shape, sweating the small stuff. I want to let it go over my head, because no matter how big or small, there is ALWAYS a solution to every problem.

I want to STOP partaking in the bull$hit and toxic madness on social media, with people forever trying to keep up with the Joneses or the latest celebrities, sunning themselves in exotic locations with the latest arm candy dangling off their wrists. It’s fake, it’s fantasy, an illusion they want us to buy into. IT’S NOT REAL LIFE!

Real life is family, true friendships, self-healing and well being.

Loving life and nature. Loving who you are. Living within your means and being content.

Making special memories rather than buying trinkets and shiny baubles to display and show off about on social media.

Enjoy life.
Enjoy being you.
Believe in yourself.

~ No matter what life shoots at you, it can fire away
because you are bulletproof ~

Do Not Fear Mistakes

Do we actually stop to consider what constitutes a mistake?

A mistake is an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong ~ but what does it mean?

And, furthermore, do we come to regret our mistakes?

Mistakes usually come with some degree of pain, loss or struggle, that is unless we don’t give a crap about our actions and words. However, I believe that most people regret their mistakes but you know what? $hit happens. It’s called life and hopefully we learn from them so we don’t repeat them.

No matter who you are, just remember that people make mistakes. Mistakes are part of being human. We all fall down from time to time but it’s important to remember: it's not how you fall, it's how we get back up again.

Learning from failure can be the key to success, because when we mess up and get things wrong, we have to keep trying until we get them right, thus improving our skills and helping us to grow.

We may be tempted to ignore mistakes because, let’s face it, mistakes can be embarrassing.

Nobody wants to be criticised, laughed at or talked about. However, admitting to your mistakes rather than hiding them or blaming others will let others see that you are decent, honest, and humble, striving to be a better person.

Are there different types of mistakes? Oh YES!

First we have self-sabotage, when you knowingly and deliberately make a mistake because you want the consequences of the mistake to happen.

Is this impulsive or compulsive behaviour?

Attention-seeking?

Are we drawing attention to us, or diverting attention away?

Is your true personality being exposed?

Alternatively, we have unintentional mistakes.

This happens when someone does not consciously make a mistake, perhaps by not paying attention, rushing, forgetting to do something or making a wrong or premature judgement ~ you get the picture?!

Why do people make mistakes?

Well, to begin with ~ we are ALL human. Annnnnd, here’s another NEWSFLASH for you ~ nobody is perfect! It is our so-called ‘imperfections’ which make us unique, so let’s embrace and accept them rather than criticise them. Look for the positive.

Sometimes mistakes happen because we’re going through a rough time.

Maybe we aren’t paying attention to what is going on around us.
Or we’re under peer-pressure and just trying to fit in.

Perhaps we are being forced into doing or saying something that we don’t want to.

Or we could be unsure of how things work and may want to proceed with caution ~ “fools rush in where angels fear to tread”.

Alternatively we could just be stubborn and proud, thinking that we know better and assuming that we know it all. That kind of arrogance can either work for you or against you, but remember ~ pride comes before a fall.

How can we learn from and move on from our mistakes?

• Take accountability and acknowledge that you have made a mistake
• Understand what went wrong so that you don’t repeat the mistake again
• Find the lesson in it…your mistake is an opportunity to learn and develop
• Be kind to yourself ~ remember that you’re thinking and agonising over it FAR more than anyone else!

Then ~ quite simply ~ LET IT GO & MOVE ON!

Do not fear mistakes ~ mistakes happen and life goes on.

This is a quote from the famous actor - Judy Garland - who starred in the film, The Wizard of Oz; but in reality can we live without money, and can we live without love?

What would it be like to live without money?

Money gives you the security of somewhere to live, to eat and to drink, without which you wouldn’t survive - and yes, we know you can live off the land so to speak - however, the human race has evolved since caveman days.

You need clothes and personal items for grooming, otherwise you would be naked and dirty. You could bathe in a ditch/river, however, if you had no clothes on and were wandering around in your ‘birthday suit’, you'd be arrested for indecent exposure!

Transportation and the ability to travel anywhere you want, whether that be on a bicycle, in a car, on a boat, a plane or a train. Transportation gets you to work, enabling you to live your life and see the world.

Money can buy you knowledge or the ability to learn from computers, books, tv/media, not to mention enjoyment by entertaining you, keeping you occupied, busy, fit and healthy, and focused.

Communication and contact with others, especially through phones, emails and good old-fashioned letters. Can you imagine, standing on the street shouting out loud for friends to come and join you? That would cause chaos!

Without money it would be like returning to the caveman days, where you'd have to kill animals for food and skins to feed yourself and make your clothes. Chopping down trees to build your home and furniture. Foraging for food in the woods - but how do you know which leaves, berries and flowers etc would be poisonous? Without good old Google or access to reference books - you’d be totally lost - or worse - dead! Or the alternative would be turning to a life of crime, to fund your lifestyle...

What would it be like to live without love?

Lonely! But not just love from a partner, but from friends and family.

Love from family and friends creates a sense of belonging, with strength in numbers, a special connection, interaction, closeness and bonding.

Then there’s being in love. That giddy feeling of falling head over heels in love. It’s intoxicating, it’s addictive and it’s all-consuming. The romance, that special bond, the passion, the intimacy, the emotional connection, locked in your own little world.

But loving someone takes work - relationships require regular care and attention. It’s not all about you, there’s someone else you have to think about. It’s not me - it’s we! And if you are selfish or are unable to compromise, then ultimately your relationship is likely to fail and love will founder.

There are people who don’t seek love. They want to be free emotionally and don’t want to co-exist in a couple, a throuple or any kind of group. They are content being who they are and live exactly how they want, and pretty much unanswerable and independent of anyone. They quite simply want to be alone, which is not to be confused with lonely...

So having played devil’s advocate with Judy’s quote “I can live without money, but I cannot live without love.” What is my answer?

Yes, you can live without money and yes, you can live without love, but that’s not a life I would choose for myself. I don’t just want to function and exist, doing my own thing in order to survive. I want to live life to the full and grab everything that’s on offer.

Life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, thrills and spills, excitement and fear, and I want to be onboard for the whole ride and will happily pay the admission fee!