Greetings and salutations my ravishing readers!
I am honoured and thrilled to be the travel correspondent for the global phenomenon that is emmaheaven.com. My name is Lady Perdita Fitzwilliam Tudor-Croft, Perdy to friends, Ditsy D to family and Dirty Dita to my unsavoury exes, but you can all call me Lady P.
My darling, wonderful readers,
How wonderful to be back in the saddle (metaphorically speaking), although one does have a little saddle soreness, not remotely linked to horseback riding, but riding of a different nature…so make of that what you will my darlings…if one ends up divulging any more information, it could lead to Daddy’s lawyers having a(nother) mammoth-sized outburst as they have to deal with yet another expensive NDA. Although you would think that those greedy vultures would love the extra hours billed to their already exorbitant monthly invoices!
Speaking of greedy vultures, this issue is all about greed and one does have first-hand experience of dealing with this particular type of person on a regular basis – starting with Daddy and his cronies, a rather nasty mix of vile, misogynistic narcissists who want nothing more than more money, more power, and more sycophants hanging on to their every word.
Have you seen the film Titanic, my darling readers, where Rose tells Jack that soon the men will retreat into a smoke-filled room to congratulate themselves on being masters of the universe? Well, picture that, except Daddy and his cronies require respirators to breathe while they blow smoke up each other’s arses! Pardon my French, but this Lady calls it as she sees it – and it pains me greatly to say that whenever Daddy is in their company, he morphs into a colossal arsehole, becoming the absolute worst possible version of himself!
Anyway, I digress…
Greed is such an unattractive quality in anyone, but especially in men and for that matter, men who desperately desire money, power and control.
I want a man to desperately desire the important things in life, such as good health, happiness, love, family, and a better quality of life.
You can aim for the stars without wrecking the entire universe in your quest. There are plenty of stars to go around; you don’t need them all. It’s greedy, and if you try, you’d leave everyone else in darkness!
We’re all guilty of being a little greedy from time to time. I for example, have been very greedy in the past with an out-of-control shopping addiction and really, let’s be honest with ourselves, do we need the same handbag in multiple shades?!
Does it matter if we wear our favourite outfit over and over again? Do we have to be seen out and about with the popular crowd for extra social media clicks and likes? Who cares?
In the grand scheme of things, these trivial matters are irrelevant.
The most basic things in one’s life are so undervalued and unappreciated, but they are by far the most important.
Your health is your wealth, so look after your physical and mental wellbeing – it’s your most valuable asset and it’s far more precious than any amount of money or material things. Without your health, you have nothing! You cannot truly enjoy any success or happiness without it.
Find what makes you happy…it’s an amazing personal journey of self-exploration. You’ll be amazed at what you discover!
Love and be loved. It’s vitally important to have genuine emotional connections rather than settling for sycophants who merely laugh at bad jokes. It will bring great joy and purpose to your life.
So my wonderful readers…Lady P’s pearls of wisdom on this issue are…it’s perfectly acceptable to be greedy, just make sure to channel that avarice toward the things that actually matter.
Strive to be the best version of yourself as is humanly possible – short of requiring a halo!
Be greedy for good health.
Be greedy for happiness.
Be greedy for love.
Be greedy for a better life.
That’s a wrap on this issue, my wonderful friends,
See you soon,
Toodle pip,
***Notes to Team Heaven***
You’ve no doubt been unable to escape the headlines about the prodigal ginger and his grasping shadow’s return to Blighty by private jet. Wonder who they cosied up to, to blag that not so little perk…they’re not exactly renowned for paying their way…
Talk about avarice personified, with a few hypocritical carbon-footprint lectures under their belts…It’s not enough that they fled the gilded nest to monetise every minor grievance across multiple continents; now they waltz back into town demanding privacy, whilst simultaneously treating the establishment with ill-disguised contempt.
One can only hope our local paps and the wider public treat the circus with the yawning indifference it so richly deserves.
please polish/refine this:
I note His Majesty has recently stripped a few dozen ‘notables’ of their honours, for a variety of misdemeanours. One can’t help but wonder if their titles could be withdrawn next – particularly as they seem so encumbered by the heavy chains of peerage, yet miss no opportunity to whine about it in their heavily paid, self-aggrandising interviews. Surely it would be an act of mercy and familial kindness to free them from such gilded burdens.
‘Tis a pity those titles cannot be sold to help foot their courtroom losses…
P.S. Hot off the glossy posse press! We’re hearing that a certain disgraced ginger ex-duch is Blighty-bound too. These impoverished souls are in search of new fools to part with their money – is it BOGOF season?! Buy one ginger, get one free?!
Toodles, xx