The hottest topic in town
This month’s issue is all about fairytales and, just like a Brothers’ Grimm fable, the peri/menopause has almost all of the same elements required to tell a tale.
The Brothers’ Grimm, Jacob and Wilhelm, were German academics known for their extensive collection and publication of German folk tales, most famously known as “Grimms’ Fairy Tales”, including well-known stories such as Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, and Snow White.
While their stories are widely known for their children’s versions, the original tales collected by the Grimms often contained much darker, more violent elements, reflecting the oral traditions from which they came.
Their fairytales/fables contained a mythical mixture of heroes, villains, a sinister/scary/sweet theme with suspense and romance. Which sounds very much like the peri/menopause journey!
Let the story unfold…
First we have the plot, where we’re stuck in a labyrinth: we feel lost and desperately try to find our way out. The labyrinth is full of dead ends and hidden doors which lead to a whole host of scary situations and scenarios. It feels like an arduous quest, rather like an emotional roller coaster ride full of twists and turns, ups and downs, and sometimes getting shaken to your very core!
Next we move on to the mythical creatures – i.e. those lucky f*ckers who manage to breeze through the whole peri/meno-$hit show completely unscathed. They really are far and few between – almost unicorn-like – most mere mortals secretly revere them or are so pi$$ed off with them that they are incandescent with envy and rage, longing to ask the mirror, mirror on the wall, who dishes out the f*cking unfairness of it all?! Anyone else around here getting whiffs and shades of Snow White’s wicked stepmum?!
The suspense comes in the form of not knowing what’s around the corner, because quite frankly, you could be having a really good day, when completely out of nowhere, something will come along putting the kibosh on all of that. One minute you’re behaving like a sweet-natured princess, the next you’re ranting and raving like a possessed swamp witch! Woe betide anyone who crosses your path and pi$$es you off! You could cast an evil spell on them or banish them to the nearest swamp!
Meanwhile, the romance element comes in many different shapes and forms. You discover a new found love of the simpler things in life:
- Peace and quiet.
- A walk amongst nature: feeling the grass/sand beneath your feet ~ hearing the wonderful sounds ~ seeing the vibrant colours ~ taking in the glorious scents of the trees/flowers/sea.
- A good book/film/podcast/playlist, with NO interruptions!
- A relaxing bath with bubbles – both of the smelly and fizzy variety! Candles and music, optional.
- Goodies in the form of your favourite treats and drinks.
- Comfort in all aspects of your life, including clothing – think lounge suits with elasticated waists. A favourite chair, squidgy cushions and snuggly blanket optional.
- Rest! Bedtime needs to be more Sleeping Beauty than Goldilocks and the Three Bears! We’re talking peaceful slumber, to be awoken by your nearest and dearest with an affectionate kiss and a strong cuppa. None of that being turfed out of bed by an angry arsehole who wants you to get up and make them breakfast. You want breakfast in bed? Go sleep in the f*cking kitchen!!
The villains of this tale are the numerous bat$hit crazy symptoms which torment us big time, especially when they strike with absolutely no warning whatsoever. No wonder we’re exhausted staying on semi-high alert.
And last but by no means least, we have the hero of this story: YOU! Because you will have been conquering this like an absolute warrior, and when you finally re-emerge on the other side, it will be as if a magical transformation has taken place, with your fairy godmother waving her magic wand, putting an end to this challenging time and banishing those pesky little symptoms to another dimension. Like the sludgy caterpillar, you will emerge from this seemingly chaotic chrysalis and become a beautiful butterfly! Hopefully, this whole fiasco has a happy ending, where everyone lived happily ever after and will be nothing more than a distant memory, or even a very bad dream – all told, a completely f*cked up fairytale you can tell to others. Now gather round…
Once upon a time dear hotties…
