Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Look around you at the people who coexist with you in 2019. Are they your kind of people? Are they kind? Helpful? Supportive? Knowledgeable? And MOST importantly - do they have good fashion sense? If the answer is YES - then all is good with the world. You need to feed off their creativity and collaborate on outfits and all things fashion in your joint quest of fashionista status. If the answer is NO - then for the love of god - take them to one side and start the fashion education process. You need to break them in gently at first - perhaps start with accessories, before working your way up to ‘The Holy Grail’ - that one outfit that is so amazingly, fantastic and mesmerisingly perfect; and oh so well put together, it could bring tears to the eyes, produce full body goosebumps and the need for a large brandy to help with the uncontrollable shaking of the body.
You need to ease yourself in gently to 2019. Try not to overwhelm yourself with the usual bullsh*t New Year’s resolutions which you know will fall to the wayside long before the end of January. Just strive to be a better version of you this year - aim to be that little bit more healthier, aim to be fitter, more conscientious, better with your finances and even more fabulous in the fashion department sweetie. When it comes to your wardrobe - think quality, not quantity. Take it from us fashion gods, who have years of experience - it’s better to have a wardrobe with a modest amount of quality clothes and fashion staples, rather than a wardrobe bursting at the seams, full of ‘hot right now - but not next month darling’ items and a pile of tat that falls apart at the seams after one wash. Start as you mean to go on - trends come and go, so make sure you have a wardrobe full of essentials that will last you a lifetime - or at least until you finally drop that dress size you have been lamenting since the dawn of time!!!
Talk about making an entrance. Hello 2019….Here I come!!! Oh yes, you are going to start the year as you mean to go on - being the well and truly, utterly fabulous you. Last year you were magnificent in the fashion stakes - you excelled yourself and surpassed all expectations. Now your adoring public waits in anticipation of the wondrous outfits you throw together at the drop of a hat. There is no trend you won’t dare to try and conquer. Heck, you might even invent some of your own trends! You are **that** good at what you do. So embrace the year ahead sweetie and prepare. You will need to stockpile lots of champers, ready to toast your success and perhaps invest in some high quality fireworks. Start your year with a bang. Illuminate the skies with a rainbow of shimmering and sparkling stars - set your world alight with fabulousness.
Get ready to take 2019 by storm - you are a human fashion hurricane, a true force of nature, causing destruction in your wake - and by that, we mean destruction in the form of people’s feelings. Your nearest and dearest (in fact every human you come in contact with), will be left feeling desolate, devastated even, and totally blown away by the sheer force of your fashionista brilliance. They will experience feelings of inadequacy, and quite possibly become extremely envious and stalker-like over your brilliant fashion choices. If faced with this kind of reaction, we strongly recommend starting up a support group to educate them in how to achieve fashion greatness. Just be prepared for some failures - unfortunately not everyone will be able to adopt your unique style sweetie - some are clueless and beyond help, and even someone as talented as you are, shouldn’t blame yourself for things beyond your control... after all, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink...
You’re trying very hard not to let the party end. HOWEVER your body, especially your liver, is now begging for some respite ASAP; forever the fashionista - and keeping up appearances - you know that the only place for you is the The Priory, where the rich and famous are so often found - spouting the same old bullsh*t that they’re suffering from exhaustion!!! Yeah yeah sweetie - you keep telling yourself you’re exhausted, when we ALL know you’ve been partying way too hard!!! A full detox is essential for your body and wellbeing. It’s always best to admit to your problem and sort it out before others take matters into their own hands - nobody wants to be unceremoniously dumped in detox, it’s soooo not a good look and can do you reputation untold harm - you only want to create a scandal for looking fabulous darling, not for looking jaundiced, haggard and clapped out!!!
It’s time to take down the Christmas cards sweetie, because no matter how many times you keep opening them up to look inside, no more money (or gift vouchers), are going to magically appear. We know how much you love to receive these wonderful gifts, especially as it funds your fashion shopping addiction. HOWEVER, we must stress that this is an unhealthy situation that you now find yourself in. So here’s some advice. STEP AWAY from the mantlepiece and those aforementioned cards, then hot foot it to the nearest recycling bin - we fashion gods are environmentally, tree-huggingly friendly, save the planet and all that! -dispose of the cards and then GET A LIFE! Stop being a sad act wishing for money to appear out of nowhere; and get out there and earn it instead. Just think of the satisfaction you’ll get from working hard to achieve that handbag of your dreams. There is nothing to rival that feeling of accomplishment - believe us, we know!
Christmas is over and with the new year just beginning, so is your flirtation with the new TV adverts littering our screens; AND this is when you find yourself obsessing over which new sofa to buy (OMG **that** sofa company has a(nother) sale on, what a surprise!), PLUS, the hunt for the Cadbury’s white chocolate Creme Egg is about to begin. RESIST these urges sweetie, PLEASE. Think logically for just a second...Yes, a new sofa would be nice; but do you really need to purchase one every January!? As night follows day, you know with unwavering confidence that they will run a 50% off sale at least another 10 times this year, next year, and the year after, until the end of time...so take a temporary break and instead, splurge that ‘sofa stash’ on some clothes. CAUTION - give the Cadbury’s Creme Eggs a wide berth - or you may find that you’ll be needing a wider berth to sit on, and your new outfit is rather snug. Trust us when we say - the white chocolate ones taste no better than the milk chocolate ones - it’s all a cunning ploy to get you to part with your money!
Get ready for the new year and the new you. Unfortunately you are the type of person who is always trying to change something about themselves and looking to improve their life. You have high expectations and sometimes you struggle to live up to those. You are always striving to be better - dress better - look better - eat better. Breathe sweetie, breathe! One step at a time. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day! Ditch the perfectionism once and for all. You are already fabulous and all you really need to do this year is be just as fabulous again. We suggest you sit yourself down with a rather large glass (or two) of bubbles, and make a toast to yourself on your sheer brilliance and just how bloody marvelous you already are. Then you need to take the year by the horns sweetie and live each day like it’s your last. Wear what you want, eat what you want, drink what you want, do what you want (all within reason - there’s no reason to be totally reckless), and have the most magical and amazing 2019.
New Year’s resolution are so NOT for you! You are not one for rules and regulations, nor are you one for having any type of restrictions on your life. You like to go with the flow, and see where the wind takes you and what the new year will bring. You don’t worry about hitting a certain weight - you gave up all that setting targets bullsh*t a long time ago - you now eat what you want, when you want. And guess what? Now you know you can eat whatever, whenever - you no longer obsess and fantasise about food. You no longer fret about looking good - you’ve embraced your natural beauty and don’t try and mask your features with multiple layers of foundation and powder. You no longer worry whether clothes look good on you. You’ve learned to embrace your body and wear what suits you and not what suits others. You don't give a sh*t about the trivial stuff and don’t sweat the small stuff. You’ve got a life to live and you’re going to have bloody fun living it.
Relationships are high on your 2019 agenda. That is, your relationship with your wardrobe. And yes, that does include falling in love, especially with the spring fashions about to be unleashed online and in the shops. This is a great time to embrace your inner Marie Kondo and ‘KonMari’ your wardrobe - aka declutter; and dispose of those things which ‘don’t give you joy’ - aka throw out all the unwanted crap! Do your bit for charity and donate the good stuff, and visit the recycling centre with the rest - it feels so good to declutter. Once that mission is accomplished, the next one brings unalloyed joy and excitement on a whole new level. YES, it’s time to hit the shop (or iPad) and shop, shop, shop, until you have a wardrobe to be proud of. One which, every time you peek into it, produces butterflies in the tummy. One that has you dreaming of it, every waking AND sleeping hour! Your relationship with your wardrobe should be one of trust; treat it well and it will shower you with affection tenfold, keeping your clothes safe and sound.
The new year arrives in a whirlwind of mayhem and intensity and suddenly everything you had put off until after new year has arrived and you are not remotely ready to face it, let alone take it on. Well sweetie, you need to adopt the old stiff upper lip motto and be prepared to get stuck in. You need to get organised and tackle each task one by one so you don’t get overwhelmed and head face first into the nearest gin bottle. We always find a list works wonders, so get prioritising! 1. Finance. Without this essential in place, ticking over nicely, we’re afraid to say the rest will be impossible to navigate. 2. Fashion. If you don’t look fabulous - well quite frankly sweetie, what’s the point of existing? 3. Home. A tidy home is a tidy mind. 4. Fitness & Nutrition. If you want to look even better in your amazing clothes, you will have this box very much ticked and even though you might find it a monumental pain in the butt, you know it has to be done and is non-negotiable (well for at least 48 weeks of the year!)
Out with the old and in in with the new. This attitude needs to be adopted in ALL aspects of your life, starting with your kitchen cupboards and fridge. If you continue to munch on leftover chocolate, mince pies and Christmas cake washed down with Baileys Irish Cream, then we’re afraid sweetie, you’re going to end up in a rather sticky situation by the end of January. Visions of you on the sofa like a beetle stranded on its back, unable to get up without a hoist, while you struggle to maintain a modicum of dignity, wearing an elasticated waist tracksuit - shock horror! This is so NOT a good look!!! AND needs to be avoided at all cost. CAUTION: without further ado, empty those cupboards and fridge right NOW before you head into the abyss, otherwise those rather fabulous clothes you had for Christmas won’t be adorning that body until Easter at the earliest if you’re not vigilant. And then the cycle starts over again with the temptation of those darn Creme Eggs!