Lady P - January 2025
Greetings and salutations my ravishing readers!
I am honoured and thrilled to be the travel correspondent for the global phenomenon that is emmaheaven.com. My name is Lady Perdita Fitzwilliam Tudor-Croft, Perdy to friends, Ditsy D to family and Dirty Dita to my unsavoury exes, but you can all call me Lady P.
Greetings and salutations my darling readers, and a very Happy New Year to you all.
Upon reading the synopsis (and definition of a devoted couple) of this month’s issue ‘Time After Time’, one has two** very important points to address about that particular phrase.
**actually a third one has since reared its (unfortunately ugly) head, which I felt compelled to add once I’d finished reading the socials on events Stateside before we went to publication…
Anyhow, I briefly digress, but I will return to this additional point in closing…
Number 1:
Just how fabulously, fantastically funny is the British comedy series, Gavin & Stacey?
Now where to start…
Gavin & Stacey is a sitcom created, written by and starring James Corden and the uber-talented, Welsh-born and bred actress/writer/comedian Ruth Jones.
It’s a good old-fashioned love story - warts and all - in a modern-day setting, where Gavin Shipman from Billericay in Essex meets Stacey West of Barry, South Wales, and how their friends and family react to their burgeoning relationship, subsequent marriage, with all the trials and tribulations in between.
The ensemble of friends and family is both utterly fascinating and hilarious; with so many rich diverse, well-written characters and personalities to choose from, one is conflicted as to who is the standout character.
There’s the socially awkward, often inappropriate, ‘confirmed bachelor’ Uncle Bryn, with an endearing unworldliness about him; Stacey’s mother Gwen and her infamous omelettes; the strangely alluring, incongruous femme-fatale that is their elderly next-door neighbour Doris with her many suitors #MySpiritAnimal; the overly keen to impress mother-in-law - aka Gavin’s Mum, Pam ‘Pam-e-lar’ Shipman; or the Shipman's best friends, the romantically-dysfunctional couple, Dawn & Pete, who make Burton and Taylor look like purring pussycats!
Whilst the stories are fairly ordinary, the characters are anything but, and - to paraphrase Nessa - “when all is said and done, at the end of the day, to be totally honest with you”, all are rather extraordinary, making the whole series a sublime watch from beginning to end. One really highly recommends bingeing the whole lot, preferably with a fun group of chums and a substantial supply of the fizzy stuff to get the party going.
[SPOILER ALERT]
The series (eventually) finishes on a much hoped-for high, after the previous Christmas Special cliffhanger, when unconventional couple Smithy & Nessa - Gavin & Stacey’s best friends - do finally get together.
However, there is still just one all-important unanswered question: What on earth happened on that flipping fishing trip?!
If anything can chase away the January blues, then this is just the perfect antidote!
~ ~
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
~ ~
Number 2:
On the topic of the ‘Time After Time’/devoted couple theme, it’s about time that I, Lady P, dipped my perfectly manicured toes back into the dating pool once more in the quest to find my very own significant other who will love me, support me, help me when I need advice and understanding, and be that strong pair of arms to catch me should I fall, or at least wrap his big strong arms with bulging biceps around me when I need to feel safe. And as a footnote, one would not be averse to anything that bulges, and would be welcomed with open…arms…
I am back on a love quest my wonderful readers, and this is one journey I will be sharing with you…warts and all…EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!
2025 - I hesitate to use and I shall refrain from using the nauseating ghastly portmanteau of “Twenty Twenty Thrive” which is doing the socials’ rounds - IS the year of LOVE!!!
Naturally, there will be full transparency as I navigate this perilous adventure and hopefully, together we can all find that special someone - that’s if you’re looking, of course! One would hate to be responsible for the breakup of any relationship, unless it happens to be that of a certain petulant Prince who trashed his family, whilst abandoning all decorum and his duty to country, by marrying the modern-day equivalent of a Disney villain, desperate for validation, status and money! But hey - wannabe influencers can never satisfy their thirst, which might go some way to explaining those water shortages the West Coast has been reporting…#TooMuch?!
Anyway, I digress…
Back to little ol’ moi and one’s cunning plan to find LOVE. A soulmate. The whole kit and caboodle.
Step 1: Take a look back at one’s previous relationships, reflect - and then brutally analyze - where they went wrong, thus ensuring past mistakes will not be made again.
Then again, who knows? Perhaps one should take a long hard look at, and leaf out of, the Nessa & Smithy ‘love story’?! Is there someone from my dim and distant past, whilst simultaneously staring one in the face?! I hesitate to say ‘one can’t see the wood for the trees’, as that has soooooo many connotations, and one is trying to use one’s heart AND head, and not one’s inherent lustiness during this quest!
Step 2: A fact-finding mission and in-depth discussion with the glossy posse to probe them on the best places/situations as to where one can meet suitable men.
Step 3: Armed with all this new information, one will organise and prepare one’s social calendar with military precision, to maximise one’s time and the effort required to hunt down this mythical creature and unicorn of the male species.
Step 4: A makeover which is likely to include a teeny tiny amount of shopping. Thankfully I am financially independent from Daddy nowadays which avoids an unnecessary battle and the subsequent fallout from his vile ranting and raving about having to foot the bill for ungrateful bloody women's ridiculous and extravagant shopping habits, who are happy to bloody leech off him and spend all his bloody money. Blah, blah, rinse, repeat, blah….
Anyway I digress again…
Back to the plan and time to put it into action; which on that very note my darling readers one is going to pop off as those makeover appointments aren’t going to book themselves.
Laters…
***Team Heaven gals***
As promised:
Edited to add - Number 3: Sigh! One really had hoped to keep this an upbeat, positive column to start off the year, alas, after perusing the socials these last few days, one’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to a familiar, tho not necessarily popular, couple. And it seems one is no longer alone in this view…
They made one utter ‘time after time’, but in a far more rueful way than Emma probably envisaged. “Time after time, they truly never fail to disappoint”.
Whether it’s clumsy attempts at fundraising, hastily-launched products of a subpar quality with sloppy branding, vexatious legal drama, or half-arsed, half-baked lifestyle ‘programmes’ and podcasts, their propensity to tarnish whatever they turn their paws to really is unparalleled.
The final straw for me and the glossy posse was when we went online and saw the pair visiting those affected by the awful fires in LA. For people who supposedly crave privacy and safety, it seems a bizarre move. Even the good/better folk over on X were calling them out for being #GriefTourists and #AmbulanceChasers
I guess the only saving grace amidst their continuing crassness is that they didn’t show up with marshmallows and toasting forks…#TooSoon?!
I think it’s pretty safe to say, my darlings, that, if either one of them were to fall, rather than catch, they would be quick to step over the other, in their indecent haste to grab a headline…
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