Greetings and salutations my ravishing readers!

I am honoured and thrilled to be the travel correspondent for the global phenomenon that is emmaheaven.com. My name is Lady Perdita Fitzwilliam Tudor-Croft, Perdy to friends, Ditsy D to family and Dirty Dita to my unsavoury exes, but you can all call me Lady P.

Croeso - that’s Welsh for ‘welcome’ BTW - my darling readers, to this Welsh appreciation issue this month. After all, with one’s exotic heritage and ‘pedigree’, one does happen to have a teensy-weensy bit of Welsh knowledge, titbits and rarebits to share with you, because one is - as always - a font of information, both useful and useless. Make of it what you will my darlings!

Here is my top 1-10 or ‘un’ to ‘deg’ list of what I deem to be Welsh Rare-Bits, i.e. things/people/places that make Wales so special and unique. And I should know what it takes to be special and unique!

• Un: Penclawdd cockles. Now one isn’t averse to popping weird or wonderful things into one’s mouth but these, my wonderful readers, should come with a warning. Allow me to explain…cockles have been eaten in Wales for generations: harvested with a rake on the sands of Gower, and transported, via donkey, to the markets of Swansea. Obviously the donkeys have long since been retired, with automobiles taking over. This popular delicacy is usually doused with vinegar and pepper, skewered with a cocktail stick et voila - down the hatch it goes! However, a word of caution: the texture and taste both require a rather discerning palate as they are not for the faint-hearted! This gal is also rather partial to this delicacy when it has been quickly deep-fried, served with a side of aioli, and washed down with a crisp, cold glass of New Zealand white! One really is a versatile cockle-chomper, par excellence!

 

• Dau: Penderyn whiskey, produced at the Penderyn Distillery in the Bannau Brycheiniog (Brecon Beacons). It’s a delicious single malt, which has also earned one some serious Brownie points from Daddy dearest, who absolutely adores the stuff! Especially when his clever daughter manages to snaffle the odd free case. The praise runs as freely and generously as his pouring skills! Da iawn Daddy-O!

 

• Tri: Portmeirion - an enchanting Italianate-style village on the coast of North Wales. This darling little place is chock-full of delightful cafes, bars, restaurants and boutiques offering a plethora of trinkets, gifts and pottery just waiting to be discovered; it’s an absolute treasure trove and quite dangerous for the old credit card. Thankfully Daddy no longer pays those ‘bloody bills’, so therefore it’s none of his ‘bloody business’ what one uses them for! And if you’re inclined to watch some seriously retro TV, one can highly recommend watching the rather dashingly debonair Patrick McGoohan - aka Number Six - in The Prisoner, which was filmed in the village. He makes this gal swoon to this day, and it was such a thrill to stay there and retrace his steps. It would be even more fun with a dashing companion chasing this gal along the beach…

 

• Pedwar: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and no my darling readers, that is not a slip of one’s hand nor the family cat walking across the keyboard, and it is an actual place. A little village, with a famously large name, on Anglesey - a Welsh island where the Prince and Princess of Wales lived when he served as a rescue pilot, flying his big chopper at RAF Valley. Anyway, I digress….so let’s get back to the village with the ENORMOUSLY complicated and practically unpronounceable name. It has a historical railway station and a heritage site boasting the Marquess of Anglesey's Column. Is it as big as Nelson’s? This Lady couldn't possibly divulge that kind of information! I am after all the soul of discretion! 

 

• Pump: Wickedly Welsh Chocolate - which more than lives up to its name. Their delicious wares include chocolate lovespoons, a mint humbug bar - the perfect gift for a grumpy old git - bah humbug Daddy. And they do a yummy Yule log too!

 

• Chwech: Clogau gold. With no gold mining taking place in Wales today, Welsh gold supplies will eventually run out, making it possibly the rarest gold in the world. Due to the scarcity of Welsh gold, only a small amount is included within each piece of Clogau jewellery. So my darlings, grab it while you can, because not only is it oh so shiny and pretty but it’s a bloody damn good investment as Daddy is always banging on about -  his financial advisors keep telling him to invest in gold to protect his savings in the event of a market crash yada, yada, yada…Can’t a girl just be frivolous for fun and not for financial gain alone?! Anyway, rather more romantically, for more than a century, this gold has famously been used by the British royal family in ceremonial regalia and wedding rings. So if it’s good enough for their majesties…

 

• Saith: Castell Coch, a 19th-century Gothic Revival castle built above the village of Tongwynlais, Cardiff in Wales, which looks like it has come straight out of a fairy tale book - one has happy memories visiting there as a young gal, reprising the role of Rapunzel as one ‘let down her hair’, and in more ways than one…What gal amongst us hasn’t occasionally fantasised about being swept off her feet by Prince Charming, to live happily ever after in a dreamy castle? And not some megalomaniacal monstrosity in Montecito...

 

• Wyth: Snowdon, now known as Yr Wyddfa, is Wales' highest mountain at 1,085 metres and is located in Eryri (formerly known as the Snowdonia) National Park. Now you all know how I relish the challenge of scaling a large peak or at least getting to first base (of camp!). The views are breathtaking and if you are feeling a little fatigued then there is a darling little railway that takes you all the way. To the top. Where else did you think I meant?!

 

• Naw: Sir Tom Jones - the sexy hip-swinging legend with a voice that could melt your knickers before you even have the chance to whip them off to throw on stage! With a career spanning six decades, he’s produced more mega hits than there are letters in the Welsh village name-checked above! His most (in)famous songs include Delilah, It’s Not Unusual and my personal favourite - Sexbomb!

 

• Deg: The Emma Heaven Online Magazine’s very own EH Emporium - a magnificently eclectic range of scented beauty and quirky home fragrance products, plus a plethora of bespoke bags, keyrings and mugs, which just happen to have one’s very own range Bombshell. Form an orderly queue, my wonderful readers, it’s selling out fast. Don’t you just love being in demand? 

Well my darlings, that’s a wrap from little ol’ moi as one is now off to bed to watch Sir Tom in action whilst devouring a bit of Wickedly Welsh! That’s not a euphemism. Much…Nor a nickname. Or maybe it is?!?

Nos da cariad,

***Note to Team Heaven gals***

If you’re looking for a roving reporter to visit Portmeirion, just say the word, ladies! Knowing my luck tho, I’ll get my Number Sixes and Nines mixed up, and all Hell will break loose. Again…

Oooh don’t think it was that kind of ‘numerical’ topsy-turvy mix up you mucky little minxes. I’m talking room numbers and key fobs!! Anyway, I digress…

BTW, don’t let Daddy see that recent article about Michael Sheen paying off strangers’ debts. Daddy has some ‘fundraisers’ lined up to get out of the financial hole he’s dug himself into, but I don’t think the sainted Michael’s generosity extends to the likes of Daddy, as charming and persuasive as Daddy can be when he’s NOT swearing for Britain!