August 2024

Menopausal Hotties

The hottest topic in town: Hottie’s Menopause Manual

The Emma Heaven magazine is proud to present the Hottie’s Menopause Manual..

Did you know that there are - brace yourselves - 34 reported symptoms associated with the menopausal journey?

Ohhh yes hotties you read that right! Not 3 to 4 but a goddamn 34 of the cheeky little blighters. You may want to make a cuppa or pour yourself a large glass, and sit comfortably as it’s a looooong list.

Do not fear though warrior hotties, as we are going to take them in our stride and steadily work our way through them.

Hopefully this will arm you with the knowledge, power and humour required in order to deal with the emotional and physical minefield that is the menopause.

We continue with…

31. Heart palpitations

For some of us hotties, during the peri/menopause our hearts can beat a little faster than usual! 

Now one would hope that this was due to our hearts being all of a flutter, intoxicated by the heady feeling of being head over heels in love, alas, whilst that may be the case for the fortunate few, for your average hottie, this is mainly down to that pesky, not so little hormone oestrogen kicking off all sorts of nonsense as its levels start to drop, causing overstimulation of the nervous system.

It’s not so much an adrenaline rush of intense excitement, but more a case of f*ck - what’s happening to my body now?! The cause is no longer seeing the object of your desires - aka your other - half naked and frisky, oh no siree; the reason your heart is being whipped up into a frenzy is down to your HBB - hormones behaving badly - going AWOL and out of control. 

You wouldn’t mind so much if they were racing due to the thought of some down ‘n’ dirty, sexy time with your other half! Instead, they’re being driven by Mother Nature's ‘special’ gift to us women, the gift that keeps on giving: the menopause in all her glory, causing mischief and mayhem, and igniting the madness within!

So why do we keep falling out with these f*cking hormones and why does the lowering of our oestrogen levels cause palpitations? Let’s thump it out together…

  • Heart palpitations are also called irregular heartbeats or arrhythmias - these are heartbeats that are suddenly more noticeable than regular heartbeats.
  • Menopause heart palpitations can increase the heart rate by 8-16 beats per minute., although some women have reported much bigger increases with their heart rate reaching up to 200 beats per minute.
  • During a palpitation you may experience the heart pounding, fluttering, racing or beating irregularly. Palpitations are often short-lived, lasting just a few seconds, or at worse, a few minutes. 

They may seem alarming and can sometimes scare the crap out of you, but they are often harmless and do not necessarily signal a health problem.

However, as with anything related to our bodies and our health, if you are experiencing difficulties, it makes sense to seek advice from your GP or health professional to see if there are any medications or other treatments that may help your symptoms.

A few lifestyle changes may also alleviate symptoms possibly caused by decreasing oestrogen levels and help cut down the occurrence of menopausal palpitations.

You already know the drill - you can follow it below and then try our heart-calming music playlist with some added relaxation techniques, such as yoga, mindfulness and breathing exercises to help steady that racing heart.

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Give Me Back My Heart - Dollar
My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Open Your Heart - Madonna
Two Hearts - Phil Collins
Raining In My Heart - Buddy Holly
Heart and Soul - T’Pau
Listen To Your Heart - Roxette
Un-Break My Heart - Toni Braxton
Heart Of Glass - Blondie
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John & Kiki Dee
Shape Of My Heart - Backstreet Boys

Hottie’s Menopause Manual

Tags: Menopausal Hotties