September 2019

Debbie Buss - Who do I need to become to live the life I desire?

Is life passing you by?

Hello I'm Debbie Buss. I am an Intuitive Healer and Spiritual Coach. My passion is working with women, helping them to get back into their forgotten bodies.

*Warning: This column contains strong language and adult content!

debbie buss

Who do I need to become to live the life I desire?

We are all born whole, but that wholeness is short lived, because we are relationally dependent.

Being born relationally dependent into families that socialise us into a society that is not fully evolved can be problematic.

This is where we become socialised and learn that there are some aspects of ourselves which are acceptable and which are not. What is acceptable - or unacceptable - depends on the perspective of the family you are born into.

The one commonality everyone in this world shares is family. Most of us know our biological family and grew up with them, some did not; we all have a family of some type, even though some of us may be estranged, separated or removed from the family into which we were born, or with whom we grew up.

No matter how, where or when we grew up, our family of origin and the primary family which raised us has had a huge impact on who we are now, what we believe, our present values, our health, our attitudes towards education, school, work, marriage, children, relationships and religion etc.

Our attitudes when it comes to satisfaction with life, happiness with family, loving relationships and self-image come from our early training and the messages we receive from our families and caregivers.

If we received love and validation in our early lives, then the world in our eyes would be a wonderful place for us to live.

If we were abused, neglected, dismissed, ignored or put down, then our self-image and our view of the world is distorted.

This is where we begin to tell our story in motion; the stories from the past, we blame our families or society from allowing us to move forward, keeping us victimised, stuck in old patterns and stopping us from living a life we desire.


Sometimes you need to do the self-work. Sometimes you need to get out there and experience interacting with the world.

We are essentially a spiritual being, that has taken a human body to learn and evolve. We are here to experience a range of emotions such as joy, bliss, anger, depression, hate, fear, love. Our growth depends on having a FULL human experience.

What if I told you that fear is the opposite of love and that fear is an illusion?

Whatever we resist, will persist. Without fear we would not know ourselves, what we like/dislike, what we want/don’t want.

Fear is the greatest tool of awareness, and also the greatest tool in expansion (growth).

If your life is filled with unhappiness, depression, chaos or just lacking satisfaction, it is because it is reflecting what is inside of you. If we clench on to negative thoughts and beliefs internally, then our outer world becomes one of turmoil and discord.

When we start to feel bad inside, we perceive the outer world as bad too, meaning we only see the ‘bad’ around us; and the worse the outer world becomes, the worse we feel inside - this soon becomes a vicious cycle which can be hard to break.

To escape turmoil, stop trying to change the world around you from the outside; to change your outer world you must make a paradigm shift.

Start looking at your life from an observer position; look at where your needs are being met or not being met.

Look at where you may need to change your patterns of negative feelings and beliefs because they have a direct impact on your attitude and ultimately your outer world.

If you want positive change in your life, look internally.

Look in the mirror and the person you are inside. By changing the quality of your thoughts you would change the quality of your life.

Ask yourself these questions?

What it is that you really need or really want?

Make a list of your individual needs, then, whenever you feel negatively, go to the list and identify the needs you have and find:

  • Why can’t I get my needs met?
  • Who is not hearing me?
  • What am I not hearing?
  • What would be so scary about knowing, hearing and/or admitting to the truths?
  • What is preventing me from communicating my needs?

How am I not speaking and acting in accordance with my personal integrity and conscience?

We are all on a journey that is about discovering everything we can about the world and communicating our knowledge with those around us.

What we fear is what we project into the unknown.

To start living the life you desire, you must take that leap of faith, come to the edge, and face the unknown.

Let go of the old stories which are keeping you stuck.

When you come to the edge, you discover you can fly; step into the unfamiliar and find the miracles of life waiting for you!


Tags: Debbie Buss