Debbie Buss - Is it time to throw ‘balance’ out of the window?
Is life passing you by?
Hello I'm Debbie Buss. I am an Intuitive Healer and Spiritual Coach. My passion is working with women, helping them to get back into their forgotten bodies.
*Warning: This column contains strong language and adult content!
Is it time to throw ‘balance’ out of the window?
When you think of the word balance, what does it mean to you?
Balance is considered a sacred principle, and to some it is the key to their physical well-being.
The word balance is used especially when it comes to work/life balance - that you balance work and play by either working more or less, depending on what is needed to achieve the equal parts of work and play.
Balance is defined as a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportion. It is also defined as to offset or compare the value of one thing with another.
By working with this, it is supposed to show you what you do want over what you don’t want, and that balance is achieved by a process of addition and subtraction.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WORK/LIFE BALANCE.
What if you integrated your work and play, then there is no need to control two seemingly opposing things?
If you live your life according to the principle of balance, you will end up exhausted. You will never be able to fully actualise yourself because you are trying to limit the aspects of yourself, while trying to accentuate others instead of becoming the full expression of both and finding a way to harmonise.
Balance also has to do with measuring the value of one thing, next to the value of another. This is based on judgement and the measurement of value may not be the same to another person.
So, what are we to do? What if I told you that the way to ‘strike a balance’ is to instead move towards ‘integration’.
Let me give you an example: Imagine you have two parts within you. You have a part that wants to do only what it wants to do, and you have another part that thinks and does the complete opposite. These two parts will feel like two rival siblings, constantly trying to pull you over to their side of the argument. If you continue to follow the principle of balance, you will end up unhappy and exhausted.
Life offers us experiences that are challenging and are nourishing; life is a pendulum, constantly swinging between all states, always oscillating back and forth between doing and being.
Imagine that you are looking at a life you are really excited to get up for, not a life where you have to get through just for the sake of doing it to get what you wanted.
The key to integration is to get to know the parts within you, by spending time looking at what you want to do in your life compared to what you don’t.
You could write down all the things that you enjoy doing, then look at the things that you don’t enjoy!
Once you have made the list, go through each one and see if you feel resistance to any of them, then ask yourself the question, “Why do I have resistance to this?” You may find that it is an old trauma that you experienced, and the part within you is doing its job to protect you. There is nothing wrong with this, and it is important to feel compassion to these parts and not judge.
Once you get to understand what each part is here to teach you, you will feel less resistance to forming a balance as it will become easier to integrate and to follow what brings you joy!
We all have that internal compass, pointing us in the right direction; sometimes looking back at the past we remember things that we thought had happened, when in reality it was our reaction to these situations that led the way.
There is dark and light within us - what is important is which one we act on, and to integrate the other.
When you find the superpower within and make peace with the parts that hold you back, forgiveness is the key with love and compassion being the lock that opens the doorway to all what life has to offer – each day will become an enriching experience of miracles and you will find that you don’t need to balance and juggle life - life will take you where you need to go.
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