Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
Stop worrying about what other people say or think about you! After many years in the spotlight, you should be used to being scrutinised under the microscope - every outfit dissected piece by piece and pored over by people who have none of your fashion flair or zest for life. There are always going to be people who will want to bring you down, rain on your parade, trying to make you doubt yourself. Block out all the negativity and BS NOW! And when it is time to step out in front of these intolerant people - make sure you are wearing an outlandishly fabulous ensemble that will give them something to talk about for years to come!
A loving memory from the past will inspire you to recreate that special moment in time when you looked and felt incredible. Could it be that balmy night on the beach, shaking your frame in a jewelled dress that sparkled in the moonlight? Or maybe the festival where your tassels and feathers danced in the breeze and you looked so good, you even made wellie boots look cool?! Just please don’t tell us it was during your school days at secondary (High) school when you wore your uniform “a la Britney, Baby One More Time” complete with pigtails. Now that’s a fashion step too far and whilst it’s good to reminisce about your school days, memories like *those* are best shared in private with your partner!
Your subconscious is nudging you in a totally new direction and for the first time you are ready to embrace tie-dye, bringing out your inner ‘hippie’. You love the thought of becoming a free spirit with a brighter outlook on life and for once you’d just love to not have a care in the world. And let’s be honest tie-dye is bright, eye-catching and extremely comfortable; all that flowing material and elastic waistbands are a godsend! Just stay away from the hallucinogenic drugs! That’s so 60s darling and it’s really not wise to be high AND in (out of!) control of a smartphone! You could end up in a hell of a lot of trouble posting pictures that really ought not to be in the public domain!
Living the good life and a life well lived are essential. Yet we all probably know of at least one person who constantly boasts about their ‘perfect life’ on social media. They live out their lives on social media with a blow by blow account of their latest holiday, with strategically taken photos to hide the fact that they were delayed at the airport for seven hours; and when they did arrive at the resort they had booked last minute, their room was above a nightclub which kept them awake all night. So they overslept, missed breakfast and didn’t get to reserve a chair by the postage stamp sized pool/puddle! Don’t become a Facebook ‘reality star’!
#KeepingItReal #MyLifeMightNotBePerfectButAtLeastItsNotFake #AntiFakeNotAntiSocialMedia
Being a fashionista can be so draining you poor dahhhling! You have to bring your ‘A’ game to every event you attend; whether it’s ‘the party of the year’, a seminar at work or just meeting the girls for a coffee. You ponder every outfit choice and meticulously pore over internet sites hunting down quirky and interesting accessories - forever searching for ‘the holy grail’ (that one item that everyone wants but is impossible to acquire). The pressure is on as you know in your heart of hearts you haven’t done a good enough job if someone doesn’t comment on your appearance, or salivate over you latest handbag acquisition!
Emotions are strong as you struggle to find the words that express your complete and utter disdain for ‘sports luxe’! Really!? Fear not - we understand your pain. Look sweetie, it’s really this simple - sports wear is to be worn in the gym or while out ‘exercising’. It should not - repeat NOT be worn even if you are just popping out, or going out, - or even in the great words of Micky Flanagan - going ‘out out’! And no matter how many times designers try and make it ‘a thing’ by throwing it down the runway, again and AGAIN - you and your perfectly acceptable opinion will not partake in this ridiculous trend!
Your desire to make life better for someone will require a small sacrifice on your part. You know hand on heart that your friend’s outfit will look sooo much better when teamed with your gold, strappy Louboutins - but can you really let her borrow them? Are you prepared to risk the friendship if she accidentally scratches the heel, scuffs the toe or scratches its scarlet soul/sole? You feel quite faint at the very thought! If you are brave enough sweetie, you should set the rules of ‘wear and care’ out in stone before you hand them over - make sure they are only worn on carpeted floors and that she will be seated for most of the evening. On second thoughts the shoes she wore last week will do and that way you won’t be trying to prevent a cardiac arrest and the friendship will remain intact!
#LouboutinsArentMeantToBeShared #IDoLoveYouButILoveMyLouboutinsMore #SharingIsntAlwaysCaring
Someone can’t take a joke! You have been reeling for days as you have become the butt of many jokes in the office since your dungarees made their ‘debut’! Honestly - do any of these people have any fashion sense? Do they know what the current trend is at the moment? Surely by now your fashionista credentials are well and truly known and admired throughout the office?! You are a trailblazer, experimental - a dedicated follower of fashion. You will not be brought down! And even though you do have a sense of humour - if you hear one more Bananarama themed jibe, you will throw a tantrum of such epic proportions it will rival the goddess ‘Venus’ burning like a silver flame!
Someone you know throws a spanner in the works and you don’t quite know how to resolve this potentially embarrassing problem. The new girl at work has blatantly strutted in with the latest ‘it’ bag swinging from her arm which you have been trying to add to your handbag haul for quite some time! Alarm bells are ringing loudly and panic is setting in. Could you possibly be ousted from your lofty position of office fashionista? Fear not sweetie! Take a short leave of absence (let’s say 48 hours to be on the safe side) - chain yourself to your iPad and DO NOT stop shopping until you find not just one, but several to die for handbags that will blow this amateur right off the radar.
Your loyalties are being challenged and you are truly torn about supporting or abandoning your favourite designer of all time who’s had the audacity to put out a collection you loathe so much that you are seriously questioning your personal style, taste in clothing, and in fact your entire fashionista credentials. Is there some sort of help out there? Perhaps a helpline you can call or maybe a support group you can join? Somewhere where there are like minded people and where you can get all the help and advice you need to deal with this terrible situation? GET A GRIP! It’s only one collection sweetie and there’s no need for the dramatics UNLESS they commit the same faux pas again next season; AND, if this happens again - then abandon at will!!!
#WillLifeEverBeTheSameAgain? #PerhapsImBeingATadDramatic! #BailOnTheSecondNotFirstFail
You could feel more empowered than ever this month. Trust Us! With the sales about to start, NOTHING, believe us when we say - NOTHING gives you a bigger adrenaline rush or that feeling of euphoria when faced with unbelievable, wall-to-wall bargains whichever way you turn. Stores are being very clever when trying to seduce you into spending all your hard earned cash; or the naughtier ones try to entice you into selling your soul to the devil by taking out a store card! Now we are not ones to judge how you acquire your new wardrobe BUT beware - these can be tricky little things to master and use wisely! So may we boldly suggest cutting down on your weekly prosecco intake? Nah! Thought not! Oh well you’re going to have to starve or live on super noodles for the foreseeable future!
You may feel you’ve dithered about and wasted time as you’ve pondered whether to a) Use your summer bonus to splurge on a fabulous five star holiday; or b) Buy a fairly decent summer wardrobe and downgrade to a three star holiday. Or c) Buy a summer wardrobe to die for and pray that summer isn’t a washout! Decisions, decisions! Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. A true fashionista will want to look fabulous and relevant at all costs; so ask yourself the all important question: Is fashion the most important thing in the/your world? If your answer is YES, then congratulations darling - you are a true fashionista - and who needs holidays when you can Google your favourite destinations anyway?