Just as a horoscope is a short prediction of future events based on the relative positions of the stars and planets at the time of a person’s birth - and we make no judgment if you do or don’t believe. Much...!
So with this in mind, we at emmaheaven.com have decided to consult with the Fashion gods (yes they do really exist) to see what fashion and beauty looks are essential for your star sign every month.
Failure to comply with your ‘fashionscope’ may result in us calling the fashion police to arrest you for a sense of humour failure and inability to take the mick out of yourself and your wardrobe!
Fashion and beauty should be fun - life’s way too short, so let’s get a grip and don’t take it - or ourselves - too seriously!
This month make each activity count. If you’re going to have a good sort out and spring clean, make sure it’s something worthwhile like your wardrobe and accessories stash. Who cares if your cutlery drawer is overflowing and the spoons are in the wrong compartment? (And if the process of finding the correct cutlery slows you down...then that’s no bad thing, as that means more time decluttering and less time eating!) As long as your necklaces are not tangled up with your bracelets and you can can quickly retrieve a skirt from the wardrobe without pulling half a dozen pairs of trousers attached to it, then that’s all that matters. You have to prioritise sweetie - us fashionistas need to get ready at the drop of a (Fedora) hat! You don’t want to end up knee deep in a pile of clothes, lamenting the fact that you should be more organised.
Your fashion instincts rarely fail you and a night out full of compliments about how wonderful you look has become ‘the norm’! Are you bored of this? Do you long to have an event where the spotlight is firmly on someone else and the compliments rain down on another? ARE YOU FOR REAL?! Of course you don’t. Your Leonine pride NEVER, EVER gets fed up of hearing people tell you how divine you look, asking for fashion advice or drooling over your latest handbag. You strive for perfection and live for adulation. Your world spins only for fashion and without it you would be lost and your life without purpose! Now please let normal business resume and return to your internet shopping with gusto.
If you see someone is struggling, offer them a helping hand. If we are absolutely honest with ourselves and we don’t mean this to sound harsh however, there are some people out there, who are completely clueless when it comes to fashion! So please be a good samaritan if you do come across someone who is badly dressed; perhaps they are wearing ill-fitting clothes revealing their Spanx in all their glory, or something completely see-through and NOT in a good way (nipple alert!), or shock horror, have their skirt tucked into the back of their knickers, flashing their derriere to the entire world! Please, please, please stop and have a friendly word in their ear - it’s the only kind thing to do and will definitely count as one of your good deeds for the day!
You’ve been dreaming about getting away from it all, as lately you have been suffering from a severe bout of PTSF (post traumatic shopping fatigue). Time away from work and your iPad are required to restore your batteries and your weary brain which is exhausted from trying to hunt down numerous ‘must have’ items of clothing, and thinking up new outfit ideas. You need to detox your mind from accessories, shoes and handbags before it goes into meltdown and you end up a quivering mess too exhausted to dress yourself, let alone go out to show off your latest ensemble. So, before you turn off the iPad, book yourself in to the nearest spa. Reboot yourself and we don’t mean with knee-high ones! Indulge the body with fabulous relaxing treatments and forget all your worries with copious amounts of fizz!
#AGirlHasToIndulgeHerself #LetItGo #DestressedNotDistressed
You are at your happiest sat in your dressing room looking at your fabulous clothes and accessories collection you have built up over the years. You now have a shoe collection to rival Imelda Marcos and make Jimmy Choo coo! And more than enough jewellery and bling to make any queen - royal or drag! - jealous! These things give you so much pleasure and bring you comfort when you’re feeling down. Most people when feeling frustrated, lost, sad or lonely reach for the bottle or food to make them feel better. But not fashionistas - they get an uplifting buzz from the feel of soft, silky material or salivate at the exquisite beading on a trophy jacket; and just remember sweetie there aren’t any calories in sniffing the inside of your new leather handbag.
#NoCaloriesNoWeightGain #WhosGloatingNow #LiveBreatheFashion
You won’t need to go to great lengths to satisfy your need for wearing furry sliders/slides/slip on sandals or whatever else you want to call them! With the UK currently enjoying a pretty good summer so far you have been able to get plenty of wear out of your little fluffy, furry friends. They make your feet look oh-so-pretty and feminine and they feel oh-so-soft and comfortable. It’s like walking on a fluffy cloud. They feel ever so dreamy, so much so you feel like you’re living in a fairytale... WAKEUP CALL TWINKLETOES! You’re not living in a fairytale. You’re at work. In your slippers no less!!! No matter what they call them or how they try to dress them up, you are out and about - in public - in your slippers!
#ThatsNotFashionThatsJustLazy #SomeTrendsShouldBeLeftWellAlone #FoolsMules
Organised, efficient and positive. You’ll make great progress as the dreaded summer holiday packing gets underway. This is a military operation requiring meticulous planning, so we’re talking list-making of the highest order, as you do not want to rock up at your resort, open your suitcase, only to discover you’ve forgotten to pack the new bejewelled, oversized floppy sunhat which monopolised your every waking moment until you had raised enough cash to purchase it! And now, shock horror, it’s sitting on your dressing room table! Capsule items like this which you simply cannot live or holiday without, need to be first on that list. Who cares about toiletries sweetie? You can buy them when you get there; you can live with that fact as you can’t read the instructions so inconveniently written in a foreign language you don’t understand; so long as you smell ok you’ll take the risk!.
If you want to up your fashion game, you must make the investment. And we’re not talking about a financial investment but one of time and dedication to the cause. You need to become Luke Skywalker, with the role of Yoda being filled by your trusty iPad. Master and student will go on a journey of discovery together, where you will learn the ways of the ‘fashion force’. Your weapon of choice will not be a lightsaber but your debit card; or PayPal account, which is how the more savvy, fashion-forward shopper shops. You will learn how to use this weapon effectively and to the best of your ability so that no one gets hurt in the process! As Yoda would say “Fashionista become you will” - the ‘fashion force’ is strong with you!
Think carefully before diving into a last minute invite to a friend’s birthday party. You need to question why it was a last minute invite. Was the event itself planned last minute or had someone dropped out and they needed a replacement quickly? Now you could sit and ponder these questions for the next few days or you could do what any self respecting fashionista would do in this situation. Who cares about the ‘why you weren’t invited sooner’ scenarios! You need to start planning your outfit PRONTO! You have a party to attend and simply must look fabulous; if in the process you do upstage the birthday girl sweetie - well - that’s just KARMA!
#KarmaNotDrama or #CockASnookIfOverlooked
It won’t be easy to cut back on work in order to bask in the sun. However where there’s a will there’s a way. You just have to be clever with time management and it’s ALL in the planning. Now the fashion gods recommend that you start work an hour earlier in the morning, taking an extended mid-morning break to indulge in a little al fresco brunch ‘in the sun’. The sun is at its hottest and most dangerous between midday-3pm, so between these hours you need to retreat indoors where it’s cool, get your head down and finish up the day’s work, leaving you free for the rest of the afternoon to relax in the sun with a refreshing glass of fizz or two! That way everybody’s happy - all your work is completed and you have enjoyed the Great British weather at it’s best! Otherwise fake it before you bake it - your skin will thank you!
#HappyProseccoDays #TheFashionGodsShouldRuleTheWorld #SunkissedNotSunburnt
Summer sales! Think you don’t have time for such things? Think again! The most savvy fashionistas always ALWAYS visit the sales, whether that’s going into the stores or trawling online for bargains. We cannot stress enough that you are missing a trick by swerving the sales. In amongst the rejects (and boy will there be a lot of dross you’ll have to sort/scroll through) there will be that little gem of an item you will stumble across. A bargain of such epic proportions which excites you SO much you almost have a panic attack until it is safely stashed in your wardrobe! The sales are also an excellent time to stock up on the basics you need - so don’t say you haven’t been warned - avoid the sales at your peril!!!
All that glitters could very well be gold - but just because fashion rules your life and shoes are your best friend does not mean you’re an airhead! Or a cash cow! Unscrupulous sorts may try to take advantage and sell you something that isn’t quite what they make it out to be; but they have underestimated your knowledge and dedication to your cause! Any self-respecting fashionista will vet all purchases before parting with their hard-earned money. Hell, they could spot a fake Louis Vuitton at 50 paces! They are no pushover and are not to be trifled with as they will have studied every fashion magazine from a young age, repeatedly watched the box set of Sex & The City and their Instafeed will be an orgy of fashion designers from all over the globe.
#NeverUnderestimateThePowerOfAFashionista #FashionIsMyLife #NotRashOrFlashWithTheCash