December 2017

Debbie Buss

Is life passing you by?

Hello I'm Debbie Buss. I am an Intuitive Healer and Spiritual Coach. My passion is working with women, helping them to get back into their forgotten bodies.

*Warning: This column contains strong language and adult content!

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Surviving the Christmas madness with your sanity intact

Tips to get you through the madness and sailing into the New Year.

As Christmas is fast approaching, what does the big day mean for you? Festive cheer or the most stressful time of the year!

We’ve all felt it. The urge to produce a truly marvellous Dickensian Christmas.
The vision of a perfectly dressed tree, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack frost nipping at your nose (I can hear you singing with me). The spiced waft of a roasting bird in the oven as the family bundle in from tossing snowballs outside, full of cheer and joy and excitement. The perfectly welcoming house full of twinkling crystal and sparkling decorations. The intakes of breath at the splendour of the perfect feast laid before them. And a table set as perfectly and tastefully as the immaculate conception itself. Children happily hanging up their stockings, grateful for what Father Christmas may bring them.

Stop. Fast forward. Plot twist... to the reality of where and who we are today, as the Big Day arrives, our vision melts into the true horror of Christmas unwrapping around us:

  • The fucking to-do list, that seems to be growing branches and roots of its own.photo 1
  • Text shopping lists from your children – with screen shots of exact images.
  • The shopping trip that goes wrong because Tesco’s run out of sprouts or chestnuts cranberries or gold leaf for the handmade chocolate bonbons.
  • The last-minute rush to get a gift for Aunt Doris who got left off the list by mistake.
  • The cat leaping onto the Christmas tree because the shiny baubles represent an army of sparkling mice descending from heaven.
  • The turkey that is still frozen an hour before it is meant to be cooked.
  • Staying up till midnight to sew on angel wings for the school nativity.
  • The relatives who turn up way too early, already sozzled from their previous engagement and expecting the jollity to continue at your house and at your expense.
  • The underlying friction when people who don’t get on at the best of times, trying to be festive with each other.
  • The kids eating all the party foods and items you’ve saved just for Christmas.

Also we get the lovely Mercury Retrograde waltz in to really shake it all up !

photo 2And amongst all of this, the woman (most likely!) or man of the house, striving to produce miracles in a kitchen too small for their elaborate plans. Swearing wickedly to themselves, whilst trying to appear composed festive and sparkling on the outside, whilst polishing off a bottle of cooking sherry meant for the Christmas cake whilst trying to copy Nigella.

Pressure mounts up trying to be Instagram perfect, whilst you are feeling inadequate when your timeline is full of Mary Berry puds and home made crafted decorations and presents all bought and wrapped in September…Bollocks - you have stressed and scraped to the finish line, roots showing and managed to squeeze into your Spanx for the annual Christmas works party.

Most women try so hard to be the perfect mum, wife and cook, we don’t allow ourselves permission to enjoy the day, exhausted by the time it arrives, compounded by the stress of not finding the one toy that was on the Christmas list.

I adore Christmas with the best of them and I am always the last to start my shopping! I love the buzz and excitement, and wrapping presents on Christmas Eve with a large bottle (glass) of prosecco listening to Michael Bublé.

I have been there trying to make everything perfect, spending money and maxing out credit cards thinking that the kids need more and already worrying about the bills next year… all it did was get me in a shit load of debt, so now I refuse to allow myself to feel burnt out and overwhelmed for ONE day! To me the magic of Christmas is enjoying spending time with my kids, who even though they are all grown up, they still love Christmas, which we get to spend together.

So, our dear fabulous readers! What if I told you that you can have a glass of wine and mince pie, and enjoy it?

  1. photo 3Breathe: Inhale and stop for one moment and focus on what is important. Does it matter if you haven’t got the right present or the correct ingredients?
  2. Park your perfectionism at the door: If you are losing sleep over the perfect Christmas, think about YOU first. We tend to forget about ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.
  3. Replenish: Think about your needs. Are you getting enough rest? drinking (not alcohol) enough water? Eating what you want but not overindulging; sit down, watch a Christmas film.
  4. Be Present: So many people talk about mindfulness and being in the moment. You are the star of your own life. Don’t worry about other people’s opinions. Don’t make assumptions. Everyone is living their own story.
  5. Know when to say NO: Ask yourself the question - and be honest - How much is enough? We not only eat and drink our own body weight at Christmas, but we also spend way beyond our means, for that perfect day.

“When the cup is full stop pouring”
Lao Tzu, Philosopher

photo 4Embrace the magic of Christmas. Enjoy, have fun, laugh, cry, make peace with past resentments and hurts as they are only hurting you.

If you are not ready to forgive then LET IT GO, as your beliefs can make you ill.

Take responsibility for anything that you create: your beliefs and concepts may not change, but your happiness and health depend on making some serious choices about how and who you spend time with.

You can choose to live a life of feeling good, having lots of energy and not feeling victimized by everything.

It won’t happen overnight but make a promise to start today.

 

  • Can you think of some beliefs you would find beneficial to change?
  • What would you have to do to make those changes?

I would like to wish you all a Happy and wonderful Christmas and an exciting 2018.

Debbie xx
www.debbie-buss.co.uk


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